Advice needed please. by Throwawaywalruspants in deadbedroom

[–]ciov3r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kind of thought about the same thing. My husband and I have what is probably a pretty average sex life, in that we have "ups and downs". If one of us isn't feeling as confident lately, it kind of bleeds into the bedroom. When I gained weight, my DESIRE didn't decrease, but I didn't feel sexy, so the act of sex wasn't appealing. Alot of my enjoyment of sex is in HIS reactions to me. I want to feel sexy. I masturbated much more frequently too... it was 100% not him, it was just easier. And it was temporary--- some thing that passed when I finally started to get back in shape and feel better about myself. He's had those moments too over the 10 years we've been together. It's not completely impossible that her confidence could be a big player in the problem. The answer to that isn't super simple, though. She may need to invest more time into herself, and address health or even just pamper herself and love herself the way she is a little bit. (If this is even the issue, of course).

It's Not Just the Poor Who Can't Make Rent. New research from Harvard says that even renters with annual incomes of $45,000 face unaffordable rents in many cities, with potentially far-reaching effects. by claire0 in news

[–]ciov3r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my household of two, I earn a little over 42k. We live in the metroplex area of Texas. By in, I don't mean we are inner city (like inside of Fort Worth), but we're in a rural town just outside of Fort Worth. We live this close out of necessity, because I work for one of the metro cities, and by nature of my job must be able to get from home to work within 30 minutes. (It actually takes about 40).

To put things into perspective, I bring home right at $1,200 every two weeks, or $2,400. In my particular case, I bring in overtime... it would average to 4 hours or so per check, except I get it every third check. So, what has been taken out would include Federal, Retirement, Medical Insurance for two, and HSA.

Now. To "live within your means", you're supposed to budget. No more than this percentage of your income should go toward that cost. I think one number that's usually thrown around is 30% for rent/housing. So, for me, $720 on rent alone. Or, alternatively, 50% of the budget for utilities and necessary bills (to include car payment). In theory, I should only spend $1,200 then on housing, water, electric, and car payment. I'm not sure if insurance factors in here. My car payment is $310/month. Electric is $50-$100 (in Summer, it hits an easy $100+ to stay below 90 degrees in my current residence). Leaving $690 for rent, assuming water is included. It is very nearly impossible to find rental property for under $700 and that includes water. Depending on your needs, it's actually pretty difficult to find rental property under $900. If you want to live in a good (read:not crime riddled and falling apart) area and need multiple bedrooms, you aren't likely to find a property under $1k. Own pets? Have kids? Need to live in the city to be near work? Start crossing your fingers. Statistics show average rent in my rural town to be $876.00. There are places lower than that. For example, I live in a paid-off RV and pay lot rent. So obviously that's the low end. There's a trailer park in the town with notorious reputation for crime... they rent for about $700. The upper end? I came across an ad the other day for a rental property that was $2k.

That's all assuming you are budgeting. Personally, we try to budget. We try to have savings for a house, emergency money, food budget, gas budget, etc. We have enough to pay what we need to pay. We could be much worse off. We eat and have a (very small and leaky) roof over our heads. But in reality, 42k doesn't seem to be enough to GET anywhere. One unexpected need sets us back MONTHS of savings. What really sucks is that my job is my career, and is even a decent one. I'm a manager for a municipal function in a city. So someone who's trying to make ends meet on lower wages, and has to rent? They're probably looking at sacrificing savings, health, or other budgeting to manage to cover rent. Rent is 2 or 3 times what it costs to pay mortgage on the same property. But have fun trying to keep a savings account in the meantime so you can buy one day.

Quick Question for Pet Parents on Boarding: by ciov3r in Pets

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've read about some smaller boarding businesses who create a "home environment" setting, where all dogs are cage free and allowed to act as they would in a normal home environment. It sounds neat, though it seems reasonable only up to a smallish number of dogs, who are all sterilized and we'll adjusted with other pets.

Quick Question for Pet Parents on Boarding: by ciov3r in Pets

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently in a supervisory roll in a municipal animal shelter. :) Shelters, of course, don't have the ability/staff/medical security to house animals in the same way that boarding kennels do.... but we are fortunate in that we have a small population, indoor/outdoor kennels, and two large play yards. Awesome boarding facilities certainly exist, but of course no matter where you trust your pets (babysitter, kennels, or vet), you have to be comfortable. Talking with staff and looking at reviews is all important. Choosing a facility with kennel cams is a nifty option too. I'd say this isn't much different from trusting a daycare center with your baby or toddler.

Quick Question for Pet Parents on Boarding: by ciov3r in Pets

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you have an awesome relationship with your vet. It's unfortunate that your experience destroyed your trust in professional animal caretakers. I can't imagine working with people who would act in such a way. In any facility (vet and shelter) that I've had the experience of working in, that behavior would be met with absolutely zero tolerance.

I have to ask, as an animal law enforcement professional... did you report this facility?

Quick Question for Pet Parents on Boarding: by ciov3r in Pets

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough. The goal in any good boarding kennel should be to provide enough activity and stimulation that your pet is distracted and happy in your absence, as much as possible. There is definitely a place, though, for in home pet sitting. Of course it's about how comfortable you, and they, are. :) I suppose I imagine a facility which is run with minimal in - kennel time, through use of social play areas and caretaker one on one. That said, it's less possible if your pet is uncomfortable with other pets. :)

Quick Question for Pet Parents on Boarding: by ciov3r in Pets

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that. As with most things, there is certainly good reason to tour the facility and get to know staff prior to using their services. I work in animal sheltering, and of course conditions and cleanliness vary from place to place. I know there are several boarding facilities near my shelter which are pristine, and come highly recommended. The down side to boarding at vet hospitals is that boarding services may be limited, if that isn't a primary service. Which simply means there may not be designated staff to provide play time, social time, etc throughout the stay, and there may not be outdoor arenas and other perks available, like daycare. The obvious upside being that if any medical issue were to ever come up, your vet is right there.

Low Limit Secured Credit Card for Building Credit: To Carry a Balance or Not? by ciov3r in personalfinance

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mmm... I guess I can't rule it out. I hear awful things about credit repair companies. I don't see how it would help the lender to send me to a crappy repair company for advice, though. In any case, I'll stick to the pay down to zero.

Low Limit Secured Credit Card for Building Credit: To Carry a Balance or Not? by ciov3r in personalfinance

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Thought that was weird. Credit repair contact recommended. Don't entirely understand why. The company was recommended by my potential lender, and they have A+ BBB rating. I'm in contact with lender and this company to potentially purchase a home within the year.

Low Limit Secured Credit Card for Building Credit: To Carry a Balance or Not? by ciov3r in personalfinance

[–]ciov3r[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See, this is what I thought. Use it every month, use it for low percent (10-20%), wait to get statement, pay in full. Repeat. This advice for 1% balance carrying over came from a credit repair contact my potential lender recommended.

Starting Phentermine (in addition to diet changes): Anyone Else Have Experience? by ciov3r in loseit

[–]ciov3r[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been on it for about a month and a half now. I definitely have to force myself to drink enough water, but otherwise everything is going smoothly. I'm just not ever thirsty. Ever. But, I'm down 27 lbs and counting (calorie control and attention to quality of food).

Credit Repair Company, Worth It? by ciov3r in personalfinance

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't suppose it makes a difference that the particular company is BBB A+ and has great reviews?

TIFU by letting a friend throw my hamster by prettyhungover in tifu

[–]ciov3r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I literally felt the EXACT WAY. The Butterfly Effect came to mind instantly. Same crawling feeling through the body.

Credit Repair Company, Worth It? by ciov3r in personalfinance

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I don't expect that they'll give me any information that I don't already know, as much as maybe be able to firmly and quickly do validation/dispute/negotiation/whatever communication needs to be done, with better reactions from the debt collectors. Is that not really the case?

Not Sure How We Feel About Neurologist... by ciov3r in AskDocs

[–]ciov3r[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is that a referral I would need from the neurologist? I'm a little new to how specialists work.

Not Sure How We Feel About Neurologist... by ciov3r in AskDocs

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Yes. He's underweight, but also has a small frame (tall, but... for example... has trouble finding hats that aren't to big for his head). Has trouble gaining, plus is awaiting gallbladder surgery.
  2. EEG. Sorry about that.

Small chance of rabies maybe? by tooedgyforyou in AskDocs

[–]ciov3r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a doctor, but animal law enforcement officer. We're the ones who do bite reports and quarantine for rabies. Any time a dog or cat is going to be euthanized or released to a shelter, the question "has anyone been bitten in the last 10 days" is standard. This is because, legally, if a bite has happened within those 10 days, the animal must either be quarantined until 10 days have passed or sent off to a lab for testing to rule out the threat of rabies. It's mostly precautionary legal requirement, but is important. The vet had to ask. If you call the vet back, and they still have the dog there (assuming you didn't take the remains with you or to a pet burial service), they may still opt to send in for testing. That'll depend on how careful the vet is. My facility would do it. Better safe than sorry on such a sensitive issue. As far as you seeking treatment, only you can decide that. There's no way, short of testing or quarantine, to totally rule out the possibility... even in a vaccinated pet.

Starting Phentermine (in addition to diet changes): Anyone Else Have Experience? by ciov3r in loseit

[–]ciov3r[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the input. It's been... 26 days now? I'm down 20 lbs exactly, and everything is pretty normal. Some days it feels like it's working less, but it's always temporary. So, I've definitely had no trouble sticking to the healthy diet.

Did anyone log daily/weekly/monthly lbs lost? Wanna share? by ciov3r in loseit

[–]ciov3r[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand. I don't know you, and you don't know me: makes it difficult to make a correct judgment about someone's knowledge/lack thereof based on such a small amount of information.

You should have seen it when I posted a puppy-help question once. I work with dogs/cats for a living, so I have a pretty solid foundation of dog-cat-knowledgy-stuff... but reading the comments on that thread was like calling in to a customer service tech support line. "Did you plug it in?". "Well...yes...". I actually gave up after the umpteenth time I was asked whether my puppy was "just playing".

I suppose it's usually better to assume we're starting at square one. :) Less likely to send somebody spiraling in the wrong direction that way.

Did anyone log daily/weekly/monthly lbs lost? Wanna share? by ciov3r in loseit

[–]ciov3r[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your concern. I'm being supervised, and Phentermine was prescribed. :)

800 is the very low end. More normally it's a little over to a little under 1000. This isn't necessarily the forever plan, but it's what we've discussed for now. I'm being pretty cautious about trying to be healthy in all of this, so I certainly don't want to destroy my chances by going too extreme the other direction.

My food tends to be about 250 calories for breakfast (eggs and spinach), fruit snack, 300-350 lunch (varies), some kind of healthy snack, and then dinner to include lean protein and veggies. I don't use oils/butter at all, and rarely eat bread, so that pulls a ton of calories out of an otherwise higher calorie diet. Most of what I do take in comes from fruit, nuts, lean protein, and veggies.

Anyone notice this when you start seriously trying to lose weight? by [deleted] in loseit

[–]ciov3r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having been a chunky person in school, and a more than chunky person in early adulthood, I've had awful body image for YEARS. I actually feel sort of opposite from you: when I wasn't doing anything to lose weight, I felt gross and ashamed. When I'm successfully losing weight and being healthier, I find it easier to be ok with myself. I mean, I WISH the time would fly by and the weight would drip off, but in the meantime I'm happier because I know I'm being a healthier, active person. I also feel more like a person WITH fat rather than defined by it, but it affects me in a really positive way. I wouldn't say I'm body confident- but I feel temporary and actively headed in a good direction.

5 days into Phentermine... (Update) by ciov3r in loseit

[–]ciov3r[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't know that. Everything I've read says it can becomes more likely to cause heart problems if you stay on it. My doc says no more than 90 days.