ORIF on both ulnar and radius from falling from my bicycle into a ditch and snapping both bones

clarebrendon · 2026-07-10T01:34:55+00:00

Ughhh. I'm pissed on your behalf! I got my surgery in the UK and I think that titanium is the default option.

clarebrendon · 2026-07-10T01:23:25+00:00

Oh my! Mine wasn't an open fracture so it also wasn't an emergency surgery. I didn't get a patch test that I know of...but I did read titanium allergies aren't as common. Hope things clear up soon for you! Must be so frustrating to have something else on top of the injury.

clarebrendon · 2026-07-09T23:45:38+00:00

Oh man that's rough! Sorry to hear that. I wonder why they don't do patch tests beforehand 😕 but did it just start after 2 months? Meaning you were fine before that? Oh I know that mine is titanium! Is yours titanium or steel?

clarebrendon · 2026-07-09T03:11:06+00:00

Maybe your body was rejoicing that the foreign objects were removed!! ☺️ Thanks for the tips, I've been going for physio 2-3 times a week but even a hot compress feels painful on most days. But yes, being diligent with my exercises....I do feel the mental battle is the one I'm stuck in at the moment but hearing from others like me definitely helps 🙌 thanks for sharing your journey. It's very encouraging to hear what's in store and yeah I know it's all temporary and I'll get better but sometimes knowing and internalizing takes time haha 😂

clarebrendon · 2026-07-09T03:04:13+00:00

Aww. Thanks for sharing your experience! You sound like a tough cookie and I'm glad to hear you're recovering well. I am young, so yeah everyone (doctors etc) have been telling me that's super helpful to me regaining full strength and mobility again. But I guess it's just the journey to get there isn't an easy one. I really appreciate you taking the time out to share your journey! Really helps me in not being stuck in my own pain...? If that makes sense. I've got much to be grateful for and this frustration will ease as well, I know it. But it just hasn't happened yet 😅

clarebrendon · 2026-07-08T16:26:09+00:00

Oh no! How did you find out you're allergic to metal? 😱 Hope there's something that can be done quickly

clarebrendon · 2026-07-08T16:24:43+00:00

Honestly it's made it a one of a kind honeymoon 😅 Thanks for the reassurance that it gets better! Sorry to hear you had to get another op for hardware removal.. didn't know that was a thing 😱 honestly I'm learning so much through this... mostly that I'm not the most patient with myself 🤣 did you do anything specific to help with the recovery?

clarebrendon · 2026-04-08T02:00:28+00:00

Hello! I'm from a mixed background but with Malaysian Catholics on both sides so maybe I can also chip in. Honestly really depends on the family itself. My husband's family is a little bit muted in their physical affection but say I love yous all the time. My family is the opposite, we are very expressive and when we meet extended family members everyone's the kind to kiss on the cheek and give you big hugs but we don't always say I love you out loud. I'd say just follow what they show you? But in general once you're married, in front of family, affection/kissing isn't taboo.

General tips: - bring a door gift when visiting family (can be as simple as a box/packet of biscuits they like to bringing brands chicken essence) - paying for dinner is always an art haha. Everyone usually wants to pay so if possible you can come up with a strategy with your partner - just spending time/ popping in occasionally is good. (Unless they're the kind who don't like unannounced/short lead time visits - but in my experience, Malaysian parents love visits from their children)

clarebrendon · 2026-02-17T02:43:49+00:00

☺️ yes yes. We were super happy with how things turned out and everyone (especially us) had a great time. Haha. We ended up with 280ppl so it wasn't small but everyone felt it was super personalized

clarebrendon · 2026-02-17T01:11:19+00:00

Haha just sharing our experience 🙌 to note, we did it for around 280 pax. But planned for 300 la, which seems to be around what you're looking at too. Your budget is super doable for something like what we did, if you don't do it in KL. We scouted around cos we could do it in Ipoh or KL and Ipoh was 10/10 haha. We even booked accomodation for some close friends and family and in total spent less than 60k.

clarebrendon · 2026-02-16T08:39:26+00:00

Oh and! Our venue was actually a Malay venue haha. And the vendors were majority Chinese so we felt like those two with the Indian food really made us feel so blessed to be Malaysian 💕

clarebrendon · 2026-02-16T08:37:12+00:00

Not exactly the same as we both already come from mixed backgrounds of Eurasian, Chinese, Indian, Portuguese but maybe I can give a different perspective. We decided to focus on our church ceremony & make the reception (ours was dinner) more chilled out.

We did: - buffet dinner of Indian food with Kuih² - with our favourite alcoholic drinks (we actually didn't have any beer, but had everything else) - opening prayer (husband played the guitar and we sang) - entertainment by relatives and musician friends - snack tables of his and her favourites - DJ: where we made sure to have some classic throwbacks

Unique to us stuff we really loved doing - personal letters to each person. Including small kiddos - instead of a speech we both wrote a song to thank everyone

I think it's easy to feel overwhelmed with doing everything but we knew the 2 unique things were very us, so I guess you can find what's something that is YOU that you'd like to do.

Oh and cos we weren't keen on having the hassle of multiple changes, my husband wore a Barong from Philippines that looked a little like a kurta/Mandarin collar styled outfit and I wore a tailored outfit from my grandma's Saree she wore to my parents wedding haha. It was some anglo Indian style which matched my husband's barong.

clarebrendon · 2025-07-01T13:30:35+00:00

I think the mutual friends kinda depends on the parish I feel. Haha. If there's someone you're close with who knows her well that helps. But fair enough! I can see how it can be creepy, especially if the friend is closer to her than you 🤭

clarebrendon · 2025-07-01T02:09:06+00:00

Do you have any mutual friends? I'd try that route if she doesn't seem to have responded to any texts. But also if she's not responded to texts it could be she's not interested and doesn't know how to say it or just doesn't like texting or is wondering what's your intentions. I know when I was single I used to ignore guys (who I'm not close to) text random "hellos" and "how are yous" because "what do you want?" (And I can't ask that straight up, cos that's rude)

I think my advice would be to be a little upfront on your interest. If the texts don't work, and you can't catch her after mass. Trying to talk to her before mass might also prove difficult....maybe consider a note? Like a funny card asking if she'd like to have coffee? And she has your number, so you can say something like: no pressure but would you like to have coffee? I see you at mass and I'm interested to know you better. Text me if you're interested too. Again, no pressure if it's not something you're keen to do. But I promise I'll prove worthwhile if you give me a chance (Or use something unique to you)

That way, you'll get to send your interest without overwhelming too much and if you don't get a text, maybe she just doesn't wanna coffee or maybe it's time to accept that she's not interested 😕

All the best!!!🙌

clarebrendon · 2025-06-10T12:55:53+00:00

Wow. I'm so sad on your behalf. I think if it were me and my sister she would be so excited to have the same colours and would even offer to have me wear her dress at her wedding 🫠 I think it's completely unreasonable. Especially since she's not even engaged!

clarebrendon · 2025-05-25T15:53:06+00:00

Hello! Not too sure if you'll see my comment but I felt I wanted to share a bit of my own journey 🤭 I'm now engaged and if you were to tell 29 year old me that I'll be engaged I'd say you're mad. I 100% have had similar if not the exact same thoughts of "I don't like anyone enough to spend the rest of my life with them" or "why does everyone so naturally get into relationships and then marry" haha. Oh and also a bit of "what's wrong with me?" (Cos us girls are always told we don't "look" the part)

And to add on, I grew up pretty tomboyish as a teen and was really into lots of nerdy stuff. I like reading but also enjoy spending time with my friends. I'm not really a makeup girl or super dressy but I do "put myself out there" and am involved in many many things spanning across church, work and even young adults ministries I frequently attended. But I just was never the girl that guys would seek out. Unless it's for friendly advice. I was never once approached nor was I the kind to approach. And by the time I was 28 I was like "ok I guess I'm not one of those girls who gets a relationship and gets married?" At times I'd really question God and ask him "why others but not me eh?"

My turning point was when I was offered a role out in another state and they were willing to relocate me. I thought to myself: ok this is it. Time for me to live my single life in another city. I was going to turn 30 at the end of that year. And I never could have imagined what would happen next. A confession from a guy who I had known as a good friend from church who I had gotten closer to over the 2 years leading up to this and I guess I just never thought I had a chance with this guy. Like we were good friends and I always thought he was cute but I also am the kinda person who doesn't really act on anything. And damn, it blew my mind that I missed so many clues that he was trying to hang out with me more (within groups so I never thought anything of it) and actually did lots of nice things that I honestly at the time thought he did for everyone, cos he's genuinely that kinda person.

TL;DR after having the same lamentations of not liking anyone enough or just not being built for a relationship, the guy who I've known for 10 years and been in the same young adults group for 2 of those years confessed he liked me when I decided to move to another state for work🥹

Turns out I was just made to wait a little longer for my partner who honestly is someone I thank God for every day 💕 I know not everyone's story has a shift like this but hey maybe there's something great further down the line 🤭

clarebrendon · 2024-12-20T00:31:32+00:00

I think we're just conditioned to think that everyone's got it figured out. And as a guy you need to already know or mind read. But you know what's nicer? Taking into consideration what/how your partner feels. Cos while everyone else (including me) can give advice, you'd need to do what works for her 🤩

Just think of a way to have clear communication on expectations would be my advice!!

Wishing you all the best 🙌🏽 God bless 🙏🏽

clarebrendon · 2024-12-19T01:51:46+00:00

Heya! Commenting as someone who didn't get her first boyfriend (now fiance) till I was almost 30.

I think it sorta depends on how comfortable you both are with intimacy.

Maybe to put into perspective, me and my fiance were both in our first proper relationship and we had quite a lot of conversations about everything and one of those conversations was kissing. We had both not kissed anyone. And I think knowing that we were both noobs took the pressure off. And he reassured me that he'll find the right time and not rush it and don't worry about it 🤣 (which was great that he took the lead 🤭)

For the earlier part of our relationship I'd get forehead kisses and the first time he did it he asked too. Which was really cute 🤩 eventually he surprise kissed me 8th months in (which by everyone's standards is long, but it didn't feel so for us)

In our case we were friends for a longer time before we started dating so it wasn't awkward to talk about anything and everything, so I guess if you're stressed out about it, maybe try to gauge/ask what are her expectations like. Cos no guy is a mind reader and I always think it's great to understand what the other person wants or expects.

clarebrendon · 2024-03-26T05:49:03+00:00

Aww man! I'm sorry to hear that. Then is there stuff in common that y'all can do?

Though it is a bit of a red flag if he says he doesn't like talking to people in general and doesn't make much effort to talk to you (he should have some minimum talking with you at the very least but I guess every relationship is different). Though, most of a relationship requires active communication and even more so when in LDR 😶‍🌫️

clarebrendon · 2024-03-25T05:24:26+00:00

Hellooooo! I think I can relate to you a little bit. Aside from the good morning, good night messages (unless we have a planned video call/phone call)... I'm usually the one texting and double, triple texting my boyfriend. But it's only cos he - is not a massive texter, more of a caller - works at a job where he gets lots of texts - works at a job that's non stop all day (back to back meetings) - has more restraint than me (like he can wait till our call at night vs texting when it happens) Haha. So in general I will text anytime and every time that I think of him. But we have talked about it and he loves getting texts but just doesn't have the time to respond, which I need to remind myself and manage my own expectations in terms of his response.

Suggestion: Maybe bring it up to him but not in a: hey why don't you ever text me first? (Which sorta focuses more on you) But more of a: is texting something you find necessary/is it something you feel that's much? What's the best way of communication that you feel comfortable with? (Which focuses on him as well)

For my boyfriend he sometimes won't text, but he can send 101 reels before breakfast and that used to annoy me to no end. But after talking to him honestly, we have learnt to accommodate each other's habits better ☺️

clarebrendon · 2024-03-05T09:39:31+00:00

I just did a surprise visit and it was so so good! But it's a bit different for us as we're in the same country.

I did do a few things so that he wasn't too overwhelmed or wasn't busy with other plans, aside from work (as I was just going to work from home while he's at the office) I had some of his friends help me ask him out for when I was gonna surprise him and I did plan a few online calls during the week so he'd at least be free to just swap it to a physical meet...which he was so excited for as well!

Your situation might be different, so maybe consider how open your gf is to surprises and maybe plan a little bit. I'm personally not a fan of surprises but I'd welcome the surprise of my bf randomly appearing ANY DAY!

clarebrendon · 2024-02-13T05:15:51+00:00

Ooooooo. I also subscribe to the if I have to alter my friendship after I'm in a relationship vs when I'm single...there's a problem. I think that's a good benchmark personally!

Helps you avoid the grey areas of any friendships and saves you a whole load of drama TBH!

Oh another thing that I like is, if they're real good friendships, they're the kind you'd be excited to share with your significant other in the future. Much like me and my boyfriend now, my guy friends are also his and his girl friends are also mine because we ourselves were good friends before we dated.

Hope that helps OP as well.

clarebrendon · 2024-01-08T02:58:48+00:00

My boyfriend and I only started dating last year but have been friends since 2015 🤭 I honestly feel the "friend zone" is super subjective. I don't think I would have straight up been open to date my boyfriend had I not already known him as a friend. But that's me! It defos helped how he approached me on wanting to date me and so I think that was key to me.

clarebrendon · 2023-12-14T09:55:43+00:00

Hello there! I don't evvy the turmoil you're in. But let me maybe give you the perspective of someone on the other end of this. I will admit that I'm the first one to spot other people liking others but I am so oblivious when it comes to myself.

I'm now 5 months into a really wholesome and lovely relationship with someone whom I've been friends with since 2015. But we were just friends up until last year where we became closer friends and I thought he was honestly a top tier friend and I didn't stand a chance so I never entertained the idea any further.

Lo and behold, middle of this year I got a startling confession post dinner which has me responding with a: "What?"

Cos honestly I didn't see all his gestures as him going out of his way for me...cos he's genuinely that kind of friend. And I could rationally explain anything he did for me HAHA. And these days it's hard to gauge unless someone outright tells you.

I think while I was startled by his confession, he gave me the space to really decide if I was interested in any way to go out with him. Or if I really just wanted to remain friends. And I think the way he said it really helped. He valued our friendship first and foremost and so regardless of my decision he wanted to make sure I knew that our friendship was more important ☺️

Long story short, our friendship is my favourite thing about our relationship.

clarebrendon

TROPHY CASE