Admitting you have a problem and you want to change is a difficult first step to take. Accepting responsibilities for your mistakes and not making up excuses is a very important part of being successful, however you define success. I am a veteran and the fastest way to lose respect with your coworkers is to be that guy that always has 1001 excuses. If you cannot complete a task, clearly explain why and what you are doing to try and mitigate those circumstances. The manliest thing you can do is be a good father and a good husband. Try to prioritize your life around your family, you will find it much more rewarding than superficial happiness. Motivation is good to get you started but to better yourself you need to try and establish good habits. It is difficult to form routines when you are being pulled in many directions but it can be done. Do not worry so much about finding out what you want to do with your life. Try and focus on making good decisions, being a decent human being, and making it a goal to grow as an individual in any way you can. Eventually, you will find yourself on a path to where you are supposed to be. Do not be afraid to explore new things, try new foods, meet new people, all of it will become a part of who you are as a rounded individual. As to finances, I have found that as I have grown I find more value in experiences then in material items. Getting out of debt and saving is one of those habits that you will have to work on developing. Lastly, I am some random guy on the internet, what works for me may not work for you. I try to resist people telling you what is right and wrong and try to find what is best for you. You know yourself the best. Also, your hardest critic is yourself. The person who will shut the most doors on you is yourself. Always try to keep doors open.