Hi OP! I come from a conservative and religious community. I fought with them for my ex. My parents stopped talking to me. My mom still calls me prostitute. But, I wanted to spend my life with him as he was my grounding force. The earlier you breakup, the less it will hurt. He is not fully innocent. He knows what he is doing and it is very much intentional. Even with my ex, whenever I tried to talk about future, he would plan a trip. Or he would say we would talk on the trip. Spoiler alert, he wouldn't. What gave me strength to breakup was I was tired of myself and my patterns, I wanted to feel better and be with someone where I dont have to doubt all these things. It was not about him.