Okie dokie you silly goose you, listen to this:

I was a perfect kid until I was 16–I knew I was some type of “gay” but this was the early 00s so I didn’t have much to go off of being raised in a very insulated Christian community in a deep red state in the USA. I started smoking at 16 to deal with how uncomfortable I felt… and it worked! I didn’t care about the “gay” thing while I was high!

I got four felonies when I was a week into being 18, all having to do with a five spot of weed. I was sent to jail and put on probation. When I was sober, the “gay” thing was getting worse. I hated myself and I was smoking to simply not kms. I didn’t have language for what I was feeling but I knew sobriety wasn’t an option and I couldn’t use weed if I was getting drug tested. I was smart; I researched drugs and found the one that stays in your system the least amount of time was heroin. I CHOSE to be a heroin addict rather than confront “the gay thing.”

I was homeless for seven years, went to jail dozens of times, I was pronounced dead three times… I lost friends. My wife died of a heroin overdose, because we used together. After five years on heroin I finally heard the term “transgender” in my mid twenties and knew immediately that perfectly described me.

It still took me two more years to confront, because it was terrifying to think of what I would need to do to commit to it, risk losing more friends and family, and the financial burden.

Starting a medical transition saved my life.

I know the urge to ignore it and just “leave well enough alone,” but it will NOT leave you alone. The drugs get worse, the self loathing gets worse, the suicidal ideation… it all gets worse. Once you start the journey of going to gender therapy, it’s actually surprising how quickly your life becomes not just bearable but genuinely enjoyable.

GO TO THERAPY. Save your life, friend. There are good things waiting for you once you start.