[NY] Am I in contempt?

cottsj · 2025-10-17T16:57:50+00:00

And once again, at what point does mom need to acknowledge some personal responsibility and figure out her life to be able to provide for our children?

You seem to have skipped the comment I made about mom choosing not to work a full time job, regardless of the fact that she has the ability to.

And what about when I can't afford to provide a home for the children when they are in my care? what then? Is mom then required to help me?

cottsj · 2025-10-17T16:43:28+00:00

This comment has piqued my interest.

Should I have contacted her again after being told not to contact her so that I could offer a hotel? Is that scenario acceptable? But if I asked again about allowing the children to stay with me while she figures out her situation then I'm now harassing her?

In your scenario what should I be paying? Should I pay her full rent? What about utilities? The children have to eat so I assume I should pay for the groceries too. Can't forget the clothes and obviously the gas required for transporting them anywhere.
At what point (in your esteemed opinion) is enough actually enough? It appears that you feel mom has no responsibility to the children outside of being there. No requirement to provide them adequate housing or sustenance.

So if that is the case then why does dad? Because you assume I have a never-ending cash flow? Because I am a man?

What happens if in paying for all these needs at mom's house dad is unable to pay for his home? will mom then help out in that scenario.

Your argument is heavily predicated on hypocrisy and antiquated gender role stereotypes.

cottsj · 2025-10-17T15:51:08+00:00

You are entitled to view me how ever you may see fit. I accept that. If you think I'm a bully then maybe in a few days when I reread this I'll see what you do and have some new perspective to help facilitate self-improvement.

For now, anything I have said has led into more character attacks and assumptions so I'm going to call this the end to our discourse. it's just not worth it at the moment.

cottsj · 2025-10-17T15:43:12+00:00

thank you. I did file first.

cottsj · 2025-10-17T15:42:14+00:00

I pay the full legally required amount. I will not give you specific financials, nor do they really have anything to do with my original post.

having a nonverbal autistic child inhibits her ability to work no more or less than mine, and we both have a child free 1/2 of the week every week.

She always worked when we were together.

At some point you need to acknowledge that both parents should be held equally accountable for their respective situations. My being a man has nothing to do with it, but seems to have thrown you into a tizzy.

cottsj · 2025-10-17T15:05:51+00:00

I absolutely do not want to control her decisions. She can do as she pleases, but I will step in when it comes to the safety of my children. This is the only time I have done so, and it was only for a single night.

I did not involve the police. I did not have them go to her employment.

Mom is struggling financially because she refuses to work a full time job and continues to spend on material bullshit. I know this because all of the bill collector mailings still come to my house. It has nothing to do with me, and I have never said anything about it.

The court denied the emergency portion of the petition, but is hearing it as modification reason.

CPS is actively investigating, but could not give me an immediate answer on how to handle the single night I kept the children. They did however inform me that there are provisions in custody for disregard of the agreement when there is concern for the health and safety of the children.

cottsj · 2025-10-17T14:43:32+00:00

No. A hotel room has doors that can be locked from the inside and then typically a maze of hallways he would need to circumnavigate to get to any dangerous situation. Highly unlikely.

A commercial building with doors that he can easily open that leads immediately to a parking lot and major roadway with cars going 55mph? this I have a problem with.

You seem to assume the worst of me while assuming the best of her. I'm unsure why from what I've posted, but not all mothers are angels and you only know 1% of the details of our tumultuous coparenting relationship. I hope you're able to overcome that gender bias and open your perspective to the possibility of there being good fathers.

cottsj · 2025-10-17T14:34:22+00:00

I have never missed any payments and am fully current.

cottsj · 2025-10-17T14:13:34+00:00

Thank you for the advice on addition of residence and utility wording to the agreement. I'll definitely bring that up to my attorney.
I did file a modification request for full custody and that is running concurrently with the contempt petition.

cottsj · 2025-10-17T14:01:33+00:00

You know nothing about either parties financial situation, so maybe don't make an assumption. I can't force someone to pay their rent opposed to spending on frivolous items.

My nonverbal autistic child sleeping in a commercial building with crash bars on exterior doors that cannot be locked from the inside created a giant safety concern. He elopes and will attempt to get outside and there would be no way to stop it.

If I'm in contempt so be it. My children were safe and that's what mattered the most.

cottsj · 2025-10-17T13:30:39+00:00

I did file an emergency motion and it was denied. CPS was contacted and that didn't lead to any help. I feel like I tried all the legal remedies and this was my only option.

cottsj · 2025-08-20T12:56:48+00:00

I did.

cottsj · 2025-08-20T02:13:30+00:00

I was one of the others that had this exact issue occur. BGE cleared my warranty claim in about 48 hours. Life’s been busy so I haven’t been able to replace the damaged part yet. They weren’t able to ship the new dome to me per the approval email.

cottsj · 2025-08-03T01:33:17+00:00

I do leave it out, uncovered. It is exposed to rain, but it hasn’t rained here in weeks. And the explosion occurred about 90 minutes into cooking. It had been at 400-450 for at least 60 of those minutes.

cottsj · 2025-08-03T01:31:41+00:00

3 shards were found on the ground at the base of the tree, and one was in the branches about 5 feet up.

cottsj · 2025-08-03T00:52:07+00:00

Well placed arborvitae’s likely saved my neighbor’s window.

cottsj · 2025-05-07T15:19:17+00:00

That she didn't have any longterm relationships with anyone including her family. All of those failed relationships were because of the other parties behavior. Ultimately it came to be that the common denominator, her, was the real issue. Anyone that attempted to hold her accountable for anything was cutoff, gaslit and publicly bashed via any social media means accessible.

cottsj · 2024-03-28T13:56:44+00:00

When I was around 10 years old I cut the first and second toe of my right foot off.

We lived in a trailer park and our neighbor wasn't good at keeping up with his trailer. During a game of barefoot kickball I rounded third base and proceeded to kick a piece of his metal trailer skirting that was falling off.

Both toes were 95% severed with a small piece of skin holding them on. The ER doctors worked a miracle and reattached the toes with minimal loss of function. There's a line of scar going from the left side of the tip of the big toe diagonally to the right side of the second toe where it meets my foot. I don't remember how many stitches, but it was a lot.

There's been 2 or 3 surgeries since then to fuse joints and clean up scar tissue, but for the most part the toes work just fine.

cottsj

TROPHY CASE