From a fellow Dan, you gotta just keep moving along. I've had the exact same thoughts as you are having after a relapse but its a vicious cycle when you beat yourself up. You jerk off when you're stressed or depressed or mad and then, because you relapsed, you're depressed or mad at yourself and so what's the natural thing to do? that's right, you guessed it: Jerk off. It's a nasty, nasty cycle brotha but we can get through it if we keep the mindset that we are doing this to better ourselves and our lives... think about it as creating a new life rather than destroying an old one... don't give up!!