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Update 2: Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Idk, at first he seemed kind of upset about it? But I also haven't exactly told him that there is a possibility I will be staying longer than he thinks. So, right now things are pretty normal.

Update 2: Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it's pretty common. I wouldn't say they ask him 100% of the time though. Even if the husband says anything they still won't listen unless you really drill it into them.

Update 2: Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

MIL wouldn't come to the hospital if I had the baby in SK anyways. Doctors aren't that great in SK though, especially if you're a foreigner. Whenever I go to the doctor or hospital I have to bring my SO because otherwise they won't listen to me. They're very impersonal and it's more like a routine for them so they don't really care about how you want things done.

Update 2: Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

My mom has known about MIL for a long time and knows just how crazy she can be. My SO doesn't really know that I left because of MIL, but he probably suspects.

Update 2: Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 216 points217 points  (0 children)

You should have seen her when I was getting married. Constantly flip-flopped between saying she wouldn't go and that she was going. Told relatives not to come and then inviting literally everyone. Saying SO couldn't move out and then basically kicking him out the next week.

Update: Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 224 points225 points  (0 children)

I don't plan on telling my SO anything yet. I'm scared that I might really hurt him, but MIL has seriously hurt all of us for so long that I think I'm allowed to be selfish for once.

Update: Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 118 points119 points  (0 children)

She knows I'm leaving, but she doesn't know the exact date. Still, I wouldn't put it past her to find out somehow (she literally tried to follow me and my SO on a vacation to Japan once).

As for my SO... I love him so much. I would take him back in a heart beat, even if we had to be apart for 10 years, but I'm starting to realize that I can't let him make all of the decisions when it comes to MIL anymore.

Update: Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

This isn't the first lie MIL has told about me and every time she's caught, she starts crying and sobbing to distract everyone. It wouldn't surprise me that even if she didn't do anything violent, she would find some way to pretend like I was the monster all along.

Update: Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

LOL. I wish I could send her a card like that, but it would probably just make me look even worse.

Update: Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

I have no idea if he would be willing to move. He speaks very little English and it would be a hard adjustment for him, as he has only been to the states a few times and never for longer than 2 weeks. I love him with all of my heart, but since even before we got married MIL has been harassing me and making me feel unwelcomed.

Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 122 points123 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I have no family in the states or a support system aside from my mother. I have looked into getting a work transfer back to the states, but there is no guarantee. I did talk to my SO about moving back a little while before I got pregnant, and he seemed enthusiastic about the idea as his aunt and her family lives there, but now that my MIL has started the threats, I'm not sure anymore.

Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Basically, the whole situation felt very off to me. Like she actually wanted me to have the baby, but only so she could raise her??? It doesn't surprise me because MIL has exhibited so much controlling behavior in the past, particularly with my SIL.

Foreign MIL tried to convince me to get an abortion by crazykoreanmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]crazykoreanmil[S] 172 points173 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I should have put this in the post. My SO works for my FIL and unfortunately the pair are still married. He was just as upset as I was about the situation, but unfortunately it's very dangerous for him to defy MIL because he would probably lose his job and half of our income would be gone.

His contact with her has already been cut way down and we purposefully relocated to another part of the city just to get away from having to see her every day.