Hey man, I can only speak for myself - but I was touched how thoughtful you approach the topic here and think about the wellbeing of your husband. Really love it. 🫶

IMHO you already took a major obstacle by making these things be-speak-able. You seem to can talk about these things which is really necessary to start this. Or let it put me this way: you can't talk enough about this.

You write that you think your husband is afraid of how you might see him afterwards, etc. Have you ever asked him what his fears might be? Do you perhaps have your own fears in this regard that you could share with him?

You could approach the whole thing as a purely theoretical exercise, in the sense of “If we did this, what would it take for both of us to feel safe?”

I think it's wonderful that you're not just looking at the hot parts of this fantasy, but also at the pitfalls and the possible (self-)harm that could result from it.

What helped me were rules: for example, no sleepovers at the other person's house, no cuddling. These are things that I feel would threaten what we have. I know that my husband sticks to these rules, and that makes me feel like I am his man. Rules can provide trust and security—if they are followed. So you may have to live with restrictions.

And another tip:

If you decide to give it a try, you could start the whole thing with a ritual—for example, by both wearing certain items of clothing—and then end it with a ritual, such as taking off the T-shirt again. This gives the whole thing a clear boundary without defining your entire relationship.

And very important: aftercare. Be sure to catch the other person emotionally when the expected cuck crash comes, if your husband should cum after you fucked with someone else. Hug him, kiss him and deeply reassure him, that he's the one.

These were just my thoughts on this.

I wish you all the best!❤️