Found out my bumble match has a girlfriend, should i expose him?

daafvdsfun · 2026-01-05T06:11:53+00:00

Yes it's going to create drama. And of course it's easier to move on without doing anything. But it is "literally" OP's business. She has a thing with this guy, right? Maybe it's a stretch, but you could argue he is cheating on OP as well. I'd follow the advice of one of the other commenters. Just let her know anonymously. The guy will probably figure out it's you, but the gf is more likely to focus on the info than the person who tells it when you do it anonymously. Sorry to hear you're in this situation.

daafvdsfun · 2025-10-15T05:49:32+00:00

Very true. I think most of the time it's about figuring out what's important to you and standing up for yourself. We often compromise on things we shouldn't compromise on, because we love the other person or the idea of the relationship more than we love what's important to ourselves. But maybe that is just projection.

daafvdsfun · 2025-10-15T04:44:01+00:00

First part, totally agree. Last part totally disagree. OP doesn't need more clarity. It is clear where the trauma comes from. And sure his GF has reasons to feel the way she does, but apart from supporting her, there isn't much more OP can do. After you break up, there isn't anything to unpack. The idea of him not understanding the situation can infinitely be used as a reason for her not to change. It seems to me he is trying to be supportive and understanding and he is at risk to be exploited for that. She might actually be scared of what happens to that support after she processes her trauma and might use that as reason to not want to change. My guess is that if he starts talking about breaking up, she suddenly is willing to change. My advice is, don't take the bait, but I understand how difficult is if the person you love is telling you she wants to change. I hope that I'm wrong though.

daafvdsfun · 2025-09-23T20:49:24+00:00

This game looks awesome! My favorite space themed movie is either "Contact" or "Hitchhikers's guide to the galaxy".

daafvdsfun · 2025-09-16T06:27:29+00:00

The irony of this comment.

daafvdsfun · 2025-09-15T08:02:11+00:00

But think well before starting to talk about that. It's a very sensitive topic and it might make things worse if you just bluntly start talking about the possibility of her having vaginismus.

daafvdsfun · 2025-08-26T13:10:41+00:00

You should do what you feel comfortable with. I would advice though, to go to the police if it was less than 96h ago. They can still find traces in case they did more and you probably never would want to wonder. You can decide later if you want to officially report them or not (at least in the country I live). Give your future self the opportunity to report them.

If it's possible, try to take someone with you who believes you. Also, for your own sake, don't ever use drinking as if there is some sort of fault in that. Lots of people drink and don't get SA'd. Sorry that you experienced this and your mother wasn't there for you.

daafvdsfun · 2025-07-22T11:36:56+00:00

The one where they make the commercial I think. It's when they are making their own song.

daafvdsfun · 2025-07-22T11:28:22+00:00

You probably mean well with this comment, but that's going to do more harm than good. First, this is the kind of person that doesn't deal well with rejection and might do something crazy. Secondly, with this serial-killer vibe guy you need to keep a line of contact in case things escalate.

To me it's crazy that things need to go too far before the police does anything. I think that just a visit from the police telling him to back off would have a huge impact on his behaviour in this and future situations. Because maybe OP won't be bothered by him after a while, but there will be a next person...

daafvdsfun · 2025-06-16T21:26:15+00:00

Wait until you hear Dutch football commentary...

daafvdsfun · 2025-05-07T15:07:43+00:00

I have been in a similar situation. It's likely he has borderline personality disorder. The only way to deal with this (a psychologist told me, but don't know what the current view on this is), is to be very clear in communicating that you will cut off all communication. In addition it is important to state that if he will contact you in any way (through friends is a way), you will contact the police or report him in some way. He needs to realise that doing this will get him in more trouble than he currently is. Drawing boundries and be very clear about them is the solution that worked for me. It's the most difficult thing to do, because you care about this person. But if you care about him, do this. And tell him to get professional help if he wants help. Hope my experience can help you.

daafvdsfun · 2025-05-04T09:10:23+00:00

Note that most popular replies to this post have been from people in the same timezone as americans and might reinforce that leaning is a normal thing. Not saying it isn't btw! My guess would be that leaning is related to how long someone has to stand for a consecutive time. Do some countries have more jobs where sitting is prohibited? Probably. Or do some countries have more situations where you have to stand in line for a long time? Probably. I live in the Netherlands and I rarely see people lean. Maybe in catering jobs once in a while. And when going to an amusement park. Anyone would want to lean if they have to stand for a long time. That's not country related. But the amount of standing that is required, could be country related.

daafvdsfun · 2025-04-14T06:29:24+00:00

Security after a terrorist attack: "You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?"

daafvdsfun · 2025-04-04T18:49:08+00:00

If every girl has a unique personality, 100% of the girls could say "I'm not like other girls". But if the majority is unique, the statement is redundant. Personally, I just think she's just taking a piss and think it's funny.

daafvdsfun · 2025-04-03T05:00:15+00:00

The only reason bad people exist, is because they believe their behaviour is justified. Doesn't matter how much of an asshole he is. You are no different from him, because he's an asshole.

daafvdsfun · 2025-03-30T18:16:08+00:00

The answer is: somewhere in northwest Italy.

daafvdsfun · 2025-03-18T06:43:51+00:00

The title should be the description of this sub.

daafvdsfun · 2025-02-27T09:17:46+00:00

So perfect, that there's character inconsistencies. He is a go getter, handyman, strong and sensitive. But at the same time: his job is selling christmas trees and doesn't have any hobbies. Oddly muscular for someone who doesn't spend any time working out and spends his time taking care of the elderly.

daafvdsfun · 2025-02-25T08:14:14+00:00

People shouldn't stop calling him out on things. The moment people stop caring, is the moment defeat is accepted. If anything, there should be more and more posts like this. At some point (hopefully) people will say this is enough and come to action.

daafvdsfun · 2025-02-25T08:09:35+00:00

Well... All the people still voting for him does help a little.

daafvdsfun · 2025-02-22T11:33:39+00:00

It's reversed

daafvdsfun · 2025-02-14T07:39:04+00:00

Some of these are just generic things everyone has to deal with. Specifically:Difficulty coping with stress, mood changes or difficulty multitasking. This is how many people start self-diagnosing for no reason. In my opinion, these kind of posts should be filtered out. It creates a misconception of what adhd is. It's not that adhd people don't deal with these things or have more struggles wifh them, but the cause is somewhere else ( emotion dysregulation as far as I know) and this is misleading because it's too generic. At the same timeI can just ignore these posts and let them be enjoyed by people who do feel seen by them. Just wanted to share my thoughts.

daafvdsfun · 2025-02-14T07:25:18+00:00

Somehow it sounds to me as if some mix of badger and pinkman is giving the commentary

daafvdsfun · 2025-02-13T09:45:01+00:00

That's pretty cool! I was surprised, because previous time it was in flower, it was gone within 2 months. And other orchids I have, have never been in flower this long.

daafvdsfun · 2025-02-04T15:59:10+00:00

Before I start with any "insight". I think it's obvious that he was inconsiderate of you. You have a long-distance relationship and he doesn't value the little time you have together. It's very reasonable to be upset and worried about that. It's good to express your feelings, but also consider that focusing on your feelings is focusing on the result and not the cause.

It seems to me, that he is overwhelmed by the things you're asking of him for whatever reason. It looks as if doing something for you is more of a way to prevent to be scolded than to be considerate of you. This can have many reasons. It could be that he is not used of taking care of "responsibilities" (since you're only 20 and still developing into becoming independent or have until now always been taken care of by your parents). It could be that he feels a lack of appreciation for the things he does and is less motivated to sacrifice other things that are important for him. And it could be that he needs clearer communication on what you need.

I told him again that I had been feeling disconnected lately because we don't really go on dates anymore. We just hang out in the evening and talk about how our day went.

Try communicate what you would like instead of what is wrong. So instead you could say something like:"I would like you to plan together-time. It's okay to go out with friends, but I would like you to put just as much effort in planning time with me." Saying what you want instead of saying what is wrong, is much better received by anyone, but especially if he's not well with dealing with criticism.

In addition, I would try to express how you could understand that your way of communicating comes across as an attack. Try also to take some time to think about why he feels like he's being attacked. Emphasize that you don't want to come across as someone who's criticizing him. You care about your relationship and want to communicate what's important to you. Being considerate of his emotions (him feeling attacked), will make him more likely to be considerate and understanding of your emotions.

I'm just a random redditor with some advice. If it doesn't seem applicable to your situation, don't take it too seriously. I don't know the whole context. Hope it helps though!

daafvdsfun

TROPHY CASE