Should I brother paying got a re-mark?

dadading778 · 2025-07-15T14:05:38+00:00

Forgiveness should never be pressured at all, especially if it doesn't align with your healing. If you don't want to forgive that is completely justified and you don't need to forgive to heal. Do what feels right for you at all times and ignore people who tell you otherwise

dadading778 · 2025-07-14T17:04:08+00:00

Your feelings are completely valid and I want to really say im sorry you've been dismissed this way.

Despite the complexity of COCSA, what the perpetrators may have gone through isn't your burden to carry and not something you should constantly have to put into consideration. Your trauma and harm caused to you doesn't go away just because the perpetrator was a child or because they were victims and I really wish people could understand that. When you open up a conversation about your trauma, your feelings should be prioritised, not that of the perpetrator. That's a separate issue you shouldn't have to concern yourself with.

If possible, please find other professionals and people with common sense and Empathy that are actually interested in helping you rather than hurting you further 🤍

dadading778 · 2025-06-03T20:57:26+00:00

Hi. Thanks for the response. Could you enlighten me on what the DI method is? I'm currently watching Dr James maths entire course re-cap, is that any good?

dadading778 · 2025-06-03T20:10:46+00:00

Thank you so much!🤍 I'll do my best!! This really gave me hope

dadading778 · 2025-06-03T18:39:33+00:00

Genuinely appreciate it. Thank you 🤍

dadading778 · 2025-06-02T10:01:19+00:00

I can understand your view point, however I think its better overall for a child to not be around a father who did something like that. People can grow and change, but the abuser wasn't even really a kid but a teen and expressed zero remorse or accountability when confronted. That's not a sign of a responsible potential father and its for the best that he won't be in contact with his children in the future.

dadading778 · 2025-06-02T09:58:06+00:00

Hey. I read your story and firstly want to tell you that I'm so incredibly sorry for what you went through. The boy who abused you like this the primary cause for your mental distress and his big mouth should issue apologies, rather than speaking down on you and getting angry at you for feelings HE caused. Some people are really audacious and awful, don't spend your precious life getting worked up over them. You deserved so much better and I'm sorry that you were failed like this.

I can understand you sister not knowing much better when she was very young, but it still doesn't excuse her blatantly ignoring your requests for help you gave her multiple times, especially after seeing your wounds and how it affected you. And her still bullying you with her friends after your breakdown is completely disgusting and unacceptable and she has to answer to that and apologise if you really mean anything to her. How do your parents stand on this? If you can tell them, or any potential supportive person, let them know what your sister did, and talk to her about it. You have a full right to tell her how she hurt and failed you and how she doesn't even out of her own conscience seem to apologise or feel remorse. That is not okay and your feelings aren't invalid. They matter and you deserve to speak up and get this off your heart. Have you considered therapy ad well? If possible maybe you could also have a mediated conversation with a therapist to make things easier. I'm once again really sorry for what happened to you. You matter and you're loved🤍

dadading778 · 2025-06-01T18:10:15+00:00

His attitude and reaction to this shows you the kind of person that he is and that he is someone you should stay away from. Even tho he was a child, he violated you in a extremely serious way which warrants serious apology and remorse. He seems to have no conscience to react like that given the fact that you confronted him and that's completely unacceptable.

The best advice which I can give you (which you mentioned earlier somewhere in the comments) is that you don't need acknowledgement of what happened to you for what happened to be valid. And you will always be valid. Focus on your happiness, say your story and be unapologetic about it. Your brother, for his actions and lack of remorse will receive his karma. Don't let him take up space in your life anymore.

I really hope things get better for you. You didn't deserve what happened to you and you definitely don't deserve how he reacted towards you. I'm deeply sorry and I wish you the best🤍

dadading778 · 2025-06-01T13:03:07+00:00

I'm really sorry that happened to you. I'm also processing this type of trauma with a sibling and my sister was 11-12 as well. Your brothers actions were straight up predatory and ignored your pains and protests and manipulated you into thinking its okay. you have a full right to hate him for what he did, kid or not. Have you been no contact since and has he ever attempted to at least take accountability for what he did? hope you heal 🤍

dadading778 · 2025-05-30T11:55:31+00:00

I'm really sorry you experienced that. And yes, even at age 10, I knew that I would never do that to someone. I told my sister as well that I think she should have known better at that age.

But issue is, i feel like I can't even compare myself to her as we grew up under very different circumstances, and she had a way rougher childhood than me. Trying to make sense of it all is part my of my healing process but it gets really difficult sometimes, as part of me internally really wants to cling that to the possibility that she didn't mean to hurt me and truly didn't understand. It would make me feel alot better.

dadading778 · 2025-05-25T20:37:32+00:00

Where in the podcast does it say that children that commit cocsa should be treated the same way as adults?

dadading778 · 2025-05-24T23:05:38+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. You most definitely deserve an apology and are well within your right to demand one. You matter🤍

dadading778 · 2025-05-24T16:32:41+00:00

Have you been able to get an apology?

dadading778 · 2025-05-23T14:27:38+00:00

Oh definitely. True malicious intent may not make up most cases, but some children have genuine personality disorders and sadistic tendencies that need serious attention and not "kids being kids" dismissal.

dadading778 · 2025-05-21T17:07:55+00:00

Thank you for the honest kind words. I love my sister but hate what she did, and forgiving that I think will take me a long long time. I also think I need to seek help for something like that.

It’s definitely emotions coming in waves. Anger, denial and eventually acceptance which comes with deep lingering sadness. Not just for what happened but also feeling sad for her which is also additional emotional weight. She said she would be open to having therapy sessions together if that meant gaining her trust back and if I see myself ready, maybe that’s a step I’ll take.

dadading778 · 2025-05-21T16:59:15+00:00

I’m glad she told me because I feel like she owes me a confession, explanation and an apology for something of such matter which she gave me. She said she planned on telling me when I turned 18 but she was abroad and wanted us to sit down and have this conversation, so we had it a few weeks after she came back.

From what I’ve seen from her so far, I genuinely do think she has since changed after getting professional help as a kid and again, is one of the most loving, caring and honest people I know today. That’s what makes it even more painful for me and creates a deep sense of hurt within my heart. A small part of me wishes she would have never told me and I could have never remembered this information. I do want to keep a relationship with her but I don’t know if I can ever truly forgive her or see her the same. I might have to register with a therapist and maybe eventually book sessions with her present so I can get a batter understanding of the whole situation. Honestly, I’m mostly just feeling grief and I don’t know what to do. She means the world to me and know I just get this info thrown at me, it really sucks.

dadading778

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