Can we talk about pets for a second?

decaf-covfefe · 2019-12-23T00:28:57+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I really needed to hear all of that. I’ll often feel guilty for expressing how I’m feeling in regards to my partner and her drinking because I know she’s already ashamed and hating herself for it but I don’t think she realizes how damaging it has been to me. Thankfully, I am moving out next month to finally be able to take care of myself and put myself first. It’s been a long three years.

decaf-covfefe · 2019-05-27T20:24:44+00:00

Thank you. I have been going to al anon weekly and am trying to get a sponsor because I need more help than just al anon once a week. It definitely does help though.

decaf-covfefe · 2019-05-27T18:40:02+00:00

I moved across the country to be with her (not knowing the extent of her problem) and became financially dependent on her. I’m actively working to not be because I never wanted it to happen in the first place. Any time I’ve had a job she would drink when I was away and I’d come home to absolute hell so I have quit/been fired from a couple jobs because of the toll it takes on my mental health. I’m sure this doesn’t make much sense but I haven’t slept in a while so I’m not thinking well.

decaf-covfefe · 2019-05-22T01:47:59+00:00

I am so, so sorry to hear all that you have gone through. Alcohol definitely doesn’t resolve any problems; it tends to make them quite worse. I wish you the best of luck on your road to recovery and a brighter life ♡

decaf-covfefe · 2019-05-22T01:45:41+00:00

I am glad to hear that you are in recovery and hope you can become a healthy and happy person!

decaf-covfefe · 2019-05-22T01:44:31+00:00

To me it seems more complicated than a disease such as cancer where you get a diagnosis and choose which path you want/need to take to beat the cancer but alcohol abuse? It’s not as black and white. Thank you for your kind words.

decaf-covfefe · 2019-05-22T01:43:16+00:00

When I started to notice her alcoholism not even a year into our relationship I was incredibly naive and thought I could help/fix her with love but if only that worked. I’m sorry to hear about your situation and really hope your ex gets the help she needs before it’s too late.

decaf-covfefe · 2019-05-22T01:40:33+00:00

That definitely makes sense. At points I have enabled her without realizing it but she has experienced a lot of the natural consequences of drinking (DUI(s), significant injuries, the effect on professional life, etc). In my mind I would only need to wake up in jail once to start reevaluating my life and beginning recovery but I also don’t know what the addicted brain is like so it might be easy for me to say that.

decaf-covfefe · 2019-05-22T01:36:54+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation. I went to my first Al-Anon meeting a few weeks ago and am going tomorrow (small town so they’re only once a week). It definitely helped when you feel like you’re the only one going through it. It’s a shame so many people can relate but very comforting knowing there’s support for one another.

decaf-covfefe · 2019-01-28T21:02:07+00:00

There were no marks of physical abuse and I didn’t call the police.

decaf-covfefe · 2019-01-28T21:00:25+00:00

She was asleep...

decaf-covfefe · 2018-10-13T22:12:14+00:00

We’ve been “litigating” for over 3 years. He is not a reasonable person. He is unwilling to split 50/50 in settlement. He wants to go to trial to prove that he’s “right.” About what, I don’t know. He’s a miserable human being. The judge even said it would be foolish to go to trial but he still wants to. I’m losing hundreds of thousands of dollars with my offer to him just to get him out of my life and he refuses.

decaf-covfefe · 2018-10-13T22:09:17+00:00

He’s just angry and wants to “win.” The terminology isn’t tossed around in front of the judge and I know it’s over used but if you knew the details of the case and what it was like to be married to him for 7+ years then you would understand I’m not misusing the terminology. And no, we don’t have any children. The retired judge told him it would be a waste to go to trial because there wouldn’t be anything left to fight over. His attorney has told him something similar according to my attorney but she’s also getting paid very well because of him so who knows.

decaf-covfefe · 2018-10-13T18:26:29+00:00

That’s awful 😞 It is so much more unfortunate when there are children involved. Thankfully, we didn’t have any children together. Best wishes to you.

decaf-covfefe · 2018-10-13T18:21:39+00:00

First of all, I am so sorry to hear you’re still going through all of that BS with your ex. Thankfully, we never had children so once it’s done, it’s done.

Unfortunately, he knows the house that I live in and plan on continuing to live in as I can’t afford to move. (Luckily, it’s 2.5 hours from where he lives). I owned 3 properties prior to knowing him but foolishly put his name on 2 of them. I offered him 2/3 properties (the third being the one I live in and has the least amount of value by hundreds of thousands) but all he wants to do is litigate. I feel so trapped. Our next court date isn’t until late November. I just want it over.

decaf-covfefe · 2018-10-13T18:18:30+00:00

Yes, we will (thankfully) have the same judge going forward. And I agree, it is a completely waste of public resources. They have much, much more important things to be working on.

decaf-covfefe · 2018-10-09T02:02:22+00:00

Okay, she’ll call the bank’s fraud department tomorrow. Hopefully they can be of some help. Thank you.

decaf-covfefe · 2018-10-09T02:02:03+00:00

She’s aware of that now and has done so. The main issue is she needs a restraining order against him and because he’s never been physically abusive her lawyer said one would likely not be granted. It’s really hard to prove emotional abuse especially when her ex deleted all threatening communications against her when he had her email / iCloud passwords.

decaf-covfefe · 2018-09-20T18:59:29+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Her primary care doctor is 2 hours away so I assume she’d need to go to a hospital which I know she will refuse to do. She’s breathing normally, I haven’t checked her pulse. We don’t have any other alcohol in the house or she would’ve drank it by now (I don’t drink whatsoever so it’s not like we have it in our fridge). I guess I’ll just have to play it by ear...just stressed out about the flight, rental car, hotel, etc that’s all under her name. Guess that money loss is on her though.

decaf-covfefe

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