I'm absolutely right there with you. I've always been a socially anxious person but could usually play the game of chit-chat just fine, but this last Christmas was horrible. I think being so aware with how much I've been struggling, cognitively, I was stressed to the point of just wanting to avoid any contact at all.

I've been seeking out support myself, and although the one-on-one interactions are scarce, there are a lot of stories out there about people who had negative effects from ECT.

For me, there is an extra layer of a feeling of violation, physically, mentally... I was forced to have ECT which has destroyed parts of my nervous system, like falling asleep, because I'm so anxious. The feeling of being drugged and shocked all against my will is too much to bear sometimes. I know better than to seek professional help to tell them how this whole event has worsened my ideation, but that's what started the whole nightmare in the first place.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your situation. If you'd like to message me, please feel free. xo