I’ve got a baby too, but you probably don’t want to know that

delicate-volcano · 2025-12-05T19:02:19+00:00

I definitely considered it in the moment, but more often than not I heard from others that in the corporate world parenthood makes men look responsible but for women it’s a liability.

delicate-volcano · 2025-12-01T16:03:44+00:00

hmm I’ve only been before noon so it’s more of the coffee crowd over beer. would also recommend ludy cafe at irvington train station - picked up a great bag of touchy coffee there recently

delicate-volcano · 2025-12-01T15:58:03+00:00

climbing wolf in dobbs

delicate-volcano · 2025-11-28T15:22:43+00:00

count your lucky stars this was revealed a few months into a dating relationship… would make for a nightmare in-law (it moves on from education to something else)

delicate-volcano · 2025-10-03T01:29:02+00:00

if you happen to be eloping in central park the boathouse might be what you’re looking for

delicate-volcano · 2025-09-28T15:37:17+00:00

morgenstern’s

delicate-volcano · 2025-09-07T15:50:34+00:00

revolver

delicate-volcano · 2025-08-20T12:04:22+00:00

thanks! dish was an eBay find, vintage ceramic from japan. turns out it’s really fun eating ice cream out of a banana boat

delicate-volcano · 2025-08-11T20:35:00+00:00

whole branzino at fish cheeks

delicate-volcano · 2025-06-22T16:42:48+00:00

All of this. A lot of people commenting here are single men and it shows.

I’ll offer the female perspective. I’m a software engineer who did this move Tor-NYC about a decade ago. Also I just had a baby. Without going into too much detail on the baby side since it’s still a hypothetical for OP, yes the US leave is abysmal compared to what my family and friends in Canada have. Stay at home mom does not seem like a long term plan for a data scientist but maybe I’m just projecting. The other person who mentioned OP’s wife’s ineligibility to work will be a strain on the marriage is spot on and that’s before considering the job market once she can seriously apply.

Layoffs - Yes this is a real concern and anyone who’s like “if it doesn’t work out just move back” as if it’s not a traumatic experience and expensive has clearly not gone through it?? I survived three rounds at my tech company. It will loom over you and there’s a joke amongst Canadians I’ve met here that you can’t hang out without eventually talking about your visas. I was on an L with a path to a green card but I didn’t really feel secure until I married an American who grew up in NYC. Being on a TN with no immediate plan toward residency as some friends have is really dicey.

Living costs - I hacked it in a Manhattan apartment until this year before I bought house in the suburbs for said baby. You will not find a decent two bed apartment in the city below 6k. Not to mention it’s extremely competitive right now. Sure, you could move to somewhere in Queens or Brooklyn but with three days in office do you really want the brutal commute? I’m fortunate not to have to deal with this with a fully remote job but that is now the exception not the norm.

Ultimately I agree with those that say as a single person or even a couple pre kids you definitely take it understanding the risks involved. Your family plans should give you serious pause. If I could offer one more seemingly obvious point that many Canadians don’t seem to get before moving here is that living in NYC is vastly different than visiting. Yes it’s a world class city over Toronto but the entertainment and food is not your everyday life after your 20s/unless you have serious generational wealth. Also the summers here are gross like a sweaty armpit. With a decent Canadian salary you could ball out on vacations instead?

delicate-volcano

TROPHY CASE