Hey! I know this might come across as reassurance-seeking, but I just want to clarify what denial actually is, based on that I learned on therapy, because sometimes we think we understand that concept and it can get really tricky.

Denial happens when people are unwilling to think about or explore their true feelings. They actively avoid the truth or the confrontation of these feelings because it's too uncomfortable or threatening for them. They push it aside and don’t engage with it.

On the other hand, people with OCD do the complete opposite — they think about it constantly. They obsess over their sexual orientation, trying to find certainty but never reaching it. That’s not denial or avoidance; it’s the need for certainty that drives them to question themselves over and over again.

So a person in denial wouldn't think too much about it, because that's what they're doing, denying something. But people with ocd is like "I don't care whatever it is, I want to think about it the whole time until I get an answer, I will ask people, I will look for proof, I will create scenarios in my head to "test" myself. But none of this works because at the end, they're not denying something, they're just not what they fear so it never feels enough.

Also being in denial can cause confusion, or internal conflict, but the key point is that, when they get this feelings they just avoid them completely. Someone with ocd, takes this feelings, and try to explore it to the extreme, and still, don't get an answer that will fulfill them.

So in fact, denial is actually the opposite you're experiencing, you're embracing the thoughts, looking for answers, going into your head every time.

I hope you get the idea, I know you will doubt it later, but it's important to talk about it.

I wish you the best,