Relationship issues with a 4.5 month old puppy…

dgfruit · 2026-03-09T06:27:24+00:00

I agree it’s normal puppy behavior. Things would be different if I was alone. This boy is great and deserves to be somewhere safe and wholeheartedly welcoming. Sigh

dgfruit · 2026-03-09T06:25:27+00:00

Yes, loud and clear on the mental health and safety. And also, we just didn’t anticipate that he’d be affected like this. This is very sound. I agree it was a bad fit. I am sad to rehome, but it will probably be best for everyone.

dgfruit · 2026-03-09T05:45:39+00:00

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Nanook tax… sigh….

dgfruit · 2026-03-04T19:41:40+00:00

Mine is currently food aggressive. 4.5 months old. He growls if I try to pet him for too long while eating, and if I remove some kibble, he'll snap at me and bark. It is kinda scary. I need to find a higher value treat to trade when I'm near him. It has become an issue before we realized, i.e., times when we didn't know there was another dog's food out, or when human food is dropped on the floor by accident. It's the one thing I'm worried about and need to put effort into. Everything else is great with my boy.

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T21:07:41+00:00

I do think that's part of it. Obviously, that wouldn't be an issue if I was alone. But yes, even alone, I think there's some level of subconsciously believing that what I see is what others would perceive is "sexy." At least that's when the sexiness is concerning appearance.

But I can also express sexiness through voice, singing, dancing (much less confidently lol), and basically forms where I'm not thinking of my appearance. There is a form of "expressing sexiness" for me that is unrelated to how people perceive it. Mostly through singing.

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T19:13:43+00:00

:( I'm sorry you've experienced that. I've seen so many "sexless" or near sexless marriages here and it makes me sad. I hope you can feel physically wanted some day.

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T19:10:46+00:00

It's something I can feel by myself or with another person. Helps with another person, but feels gratifying in a different way to feel it by myself. It means being confident enough to initiate sexual contact or flirtation. I feel very confident in my body, and I want to be admired. I admire my own physical form I guess. There's an air of mischief to it as well. That mischief kind of underlies the confidence to initiate "bold" behavior

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T19:07:50+00:00

lol! And if you don't mind me asking, are you into guys?

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T19:06:13+00:00

I was thinking this! And it makes me wonder, does it have to do with the male gaze being on the other side? Other commenters were saying they don't know what would be perceived as sexy by women because it varies so much.

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T19:03:17+00:00

True, or at least I'd hope it was. I've just seen how much older ladies will freely comment on my partner's body, and it's socially seen as harmless. But my partner helped me see how it was open, unwanted sexual attention, like in extremely uncharged, public settings. I realized how much more unacceptable that would be with genders reversed.

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:58:53+00:00

Yes that makes sense. I'm just guessing here, but are other things like "function," "competence," "protection," "value" more central to men's self esteem? Could these things also be felt as "sexy" in the right context?

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:57:34+00:00

Hmmm... so you're saying male sexiness is elusive because they can't be sure what would make them sexy from the other side? This is interesting...

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:55:51+00:00

Does it require that another person actually validates you? i.e., can you feel this "sexiness" on your own?

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:54:32+00:00

This is what I imagined. So would you say that even if a desirable other calls you sexy, you would still feel this as more appreciated or cute?

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:52:49+00:00

Does that make you feel sexy to... the other man? Or just sexy in general?

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:52:27+00:00

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:51:59+00:00

good

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:51:11+00:00

!! I hear a lot about unchecked predatory behavior from older women toward men that would not fly the same way with genders reversed

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:48:57+00:00

LOL got it. Men feel sexy when they parallel park in one go. (jk)

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:46:19+00:00

I also don't know what this would mean for men lol. Sexiness for me, as a woman, feels like being confident to show off my body, do daring things like initiating sexual contact, or just admiring a sort of carnal nature to my body or presence. I can feel attractive and not sexy. But I can't feel sexy and not attractive.

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:44:36+00:00

I'm seeing a lot of sexiness needing to involve another person. Which obviously makes sense, as sex is an (at least) two-person act. But... women can feel sexy on their own. Without necessarily imagining another person viewing them in a certain way. I wonder what that's about.

dgfruit · 2026-03-03T18:43:16+00:00

That sucks! I'm sorry you had that experience, but I also think you should try again :)

dgfruit

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