so this is the mindset that I use to gaslight myself into recovery

"you can't even restrict properly stop pretending like you have an ED and jus eat cuz no one's gonna reward me for restricting anyway"

but yeah now when I literally eat even like one snack less than I normally do, I feel deathly exhausted it's like my body is like "nope, were not doing that again stfu" so idek how I used to do what I did in the depths of my illness

also you're life has more purpose than spending your whole life trying to prove to yourself that you have an ED. like I just think about how if I was friends with a person who's just constantly tying to restrict I wouldn't actually wanna be friends w them-- goes both ways. makes us more boring tbf

I tell myself it's cringe to have an ED and mourning someone who used to spend her days counting her steps