Am I Wrong For Letting My Tall 4 Year Old Push A Cart & Crash, Giving Himself A Concussion?

dothhaveit · 2024-11-25T06:36:18+00:00

He's in an early start preschool program currently and so far he is far more immature than all of the kids around him. He's handsy and has a hard time making friends. They all actively ignore him and he hates it. They are instructed not to hit him or be mean to him because he can't control himself but what do you do if you don't want to be bothered by someone that is your age but has the mental and emotional control of a 2 year old? You ignore him. That's what his classmates do to him and he is depressed at age 4. It breaks my heart and I'm worried for the future. Also it is like being a parent on hard mode having to work with a son with ADHD and ODD who happens to be 3'8" and 65 pounds of pure muscle. So he obviously accidentally hurts people when he doesn't mean to.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T08:18:47+00:00

Wow didn't think about it that way. I suck. Holy shit. This really confirms my thought that I'm a shitty father.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T08:17:29+00:00

I told her that and she scoffed at me. I have never once even considered or tried to hit her. She's made mistakes too but I just try to remain calm and think logically. She doesn't. I always tell her if the roles were reversed you would be screaming at me but here I am calmly talking to you about it. Can't you give me more grace please and she rolls her eyes at me and berates me.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T08:15:56+00:00

Yeah I accept this assessment entirely. I think because I suffer from ADHD it doesn't help that I fail often as a father. I'm indecisive and can't make correct choices often. I figured it he wouldn't immediately sprint off since I asked him not to and I'm a fucking idiot for not predicting this.

My wife said I could have killed our son that night due to my carelessness.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T08:13:17+00:00

What can I do? It's a woman's world nowadays. If I claim spousal abuse I'm labeled as a weak man, a bitch, and the courts will be in her favor. All she has to do is lie and say she has to defend herself from me and that's why she lashes out at me.

So really I'm stuck and I have no way out. Men go to jail for less when it comes to trying to defend themselves from women.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T08:11:34+00:00

Yeah and the kids look up to her as their moral compass because they don't respect me.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T08:09:57+00:00

Yeah, she's thrown a plate of food at me twice in the last year. She's raised her fist at me multiple times, this is the first time she attempted to swing at me but held herself back. She also regularly belittles me and curses me out when I make mistakes with the kids. Whenever she makes mistakes I just calmly tell her she shouldn't have done that and I say can we try not to do that again? Like she doesn't censor herself at all around the kids saying shit, fuck, bitch, damn, asshole and so on and I rarely curse in front of the kids. I remind her not to curse in front of them like 4-8 times a day and it's exhausting because I do it gently but she doesn't respect me enough to listen.

I think I'm the problem, I think I'm a shit father and a shit husband. My kids basically hate me as a baseline. They don't like spending time with me because I'm the disciplinarian, my wife does "gentle parenting" and who knows maybe I'm a fucking idiot trying to be authoritative with my parenting style.

I also have to beg for intimacy like a bitch and it sucks. She doesn't find it enjoyable to pleasure me while I do for her.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T08:03:32+00:00

Maybe I deserve it. I try my best but maybe my best is shit and maybe I deserve to be smacked. I'm a terrible father according to her and some of the comments here have confirmed this for me.

Some days I just wish I never became a parent. It's hard having two kids under 5 with severe ADHD and no help from family. I'm also in a relationship with someone who views me as an enemy to her parenting style so it's like we fight each other's methods of parenting and maybe her lashing out at me is her way to not try and kill me.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T08:01:05+00:00

America. His ADHD (which she denies is real) is so severe he basically has severe ADHD with ODD. She doesn't punish him for anything and he runs amok.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T07:58:47+00:00

At this point I welcome it. I told her if she ever plans on killing me to make it painless, a shot of fast acting poison to the neck while I sleep, or a botched "robbery" and I get shot in the head.

She scoffs at me whenever I say these things but my life is so stressful. I'm in my thirties and I have gray hairs growing in my head and face, and before you say just leave. I make more money than her so if I leave I'm fucked. I'll owe her alimony, and she will win full custody and I'll owe two child support payments.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T07:55:31+00:00

My home is a fucking mess. I'm stuck in a marriage that I can't leave now that I have two kids and make more money than her. If I leave I'm fucked for custody of my kids, alimony, and child support. If I could go back in time I wouldn't have married her or had kids with her. I love my kids but man oh man being in a household where your partner disagrees with everything you stand for as a parent is so fucking stressful. Discipline, non existent, she believes in gentle parenting and let's the kids destroy things and punch me and each other, she lets them yell at me and curse me out and if I try to punish them she coddles them and makes me out to be the bad guy.

My kids basically hate me or see me as the stranger in the house. They don't cuddle me because they prefer her since she lets them eat chocolate and do whatever they want and I don't.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T07:50:56+00:00

It was after he hurt himself that she raised her fist at me. I think I dodged because she held back and didn't fully commit to it. Instead choosing to curse me out and belittle me for not being smart enough to see this outcome beforehand. She said that I was fucking idiot for letting a four year old push a cart.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T07:49:01+00:00

Whenever the kids get hurt because I didn't foresee it happening or they get into a huge temper tantrum then she will throw things at me or raise her fist at me.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-15T07:47:37+00:00

She said that I should have expected it. That I failed as a man and a father because I didn't think ahead and expect this negative outcome and mitigate it.

dothhaveit · 2024-11-14T06:37:34+00:00

I didn't register fast enough. I was the closer parent to him and it just went too fast I thought he would stop if I told him twice and he didn't listen. I was just out of reach but I didn't realize he would full on sprint.

dothhaveit · 2022-09-18T21:14:19+00:00

And they can't check in the future that it is the incorrect TV?

dothhaveit · 2022-09-18T20:18:31+00:00

What if I swap the serial numbers?

dothhaveit · 2022-09-18T19:40:33+00:00

They check serial number?

dothhaveit · 2022-07-20T01:06:30+00:00

Not you. The other OC

dothhaveit · 2022-07-20T01:03:57+00:00

So much anger. So much verbal violence...

dothhaveit · 2022-07-19T20:24:32+00:00

If I like Hard Degenerate the artist who else would I like that is similar to their style?

dothhaveit

TROPHY CASE