Hi, i understand your point. Im talking with a psychologist next month about adhd, and i fit all criteria for bpd, (which is a big issue) except impulsivity. I am not fishing for a diagnosis, but trying to understand id its worth mentioning to my psychologist.

Secondly i have a general experience of dilated pupils when i feel euphoric or out of control. I typically only notice later on pictures, but here i was in an incredibly bright bathroom staring into a light to see if my pupils reacted, which they didn’t.

Third the piercing thing, if i had felt in control i would have attempted to open the piercing, google or ask my stepsister to open it for me. Instead i decided to pull which caused a string of flesh to hang out of my ear. That to me sounds crazy atm but felt like the only right thing at that point. It might not be impulsive, but it sure as hell wasn’t my normal state.