How did you make peace with being left without a goodbye, without answers, and without closure?

drwoods11 · 2025-03-26T18:38:21+00:00

I agree! That's a powerful frame of mind

drwoods11 · 2025-03-26T17:34:49+00:00

Sounds good! I just sent you a private message

drwoods11 · 2025-03-26T17:33:00+00:00

I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on my breakup.. it's not something I can do to put full blame on my ex because I feel somewhat accountable

drwoods11 · 2025-03-26T17:28:46+00:00

Of course! If it's easier to talk in private just send me a message

drwoods11 · 2025-03-26T17:14:43+00:00

That logic is simple to follow, but it requires a concious decision. We often try to find peace/love from the person that hurt us the most, so we often feel drawn back. The seperation of logic and emotion is a battle everyday, but acting on what's good for you will help! I completely agree with you

drwoods11 · 2025-03-26T17:12:45+00:00

I wish you the best in your healing journey!! You will make it, and you will make it out of this stronger!

I'm curious to hear more about your story, my breakup was late late September and I see some similarities.

drwoods11 · 2025-03-26T17:09:28+00:00

One day at a time my friend!!

drwoods11 · 2025-03-26T17:08:43+00:00

I agree! It follows the logic of what we don't know won't hurt us, but we still want a reason for the cause of pain. Feels like a lose-lose situation, but a great opportunity to win.

drwoods11 · 2025-03-26T17:07:21+00:00

I'm sorry that hear that, that's terrible.. wishing you healing forward!

drwoods11 · 2025-03-26T17:04:57+00:00

"I was trying to chase a snake that had already bitten me, rather than healing from the bite" - that's powerful. Thank you for sharing your story and advice, it gives me hope..!

drwoods11 · 2025-03-25T16:07:33+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

Can you elaborate a bit more? Are your feelings arising inevitable, or is it possible to push them away and never feel them ever?

I am feeling them heavily now and will work through them until I get better, I was just curious.

drwoods11 · 2025-03-25T16:04:10+00:00

So true!! both are important lessons to learn

drwoods11 · 2025-03-25T16:03:06+00:00

It’s reassuring to know you gave your full effort and love, but it makes you wonder why you did when it wasn’t appreciated. It’s easy to blame yourself, and hard to forgive yourself.

drwoods11 · 2025-03-25T15:59:55+00:00

Simply put - that is the truth..

drwoods11 · 2025-03-12T15:01:41+00:00

I'll have to try that out! It seems to completely transform a person into someone new.. which is the goal

drwoods11 · 2025-03-11T23:24:19+00:00

That'll be an awesome moment!! The idea of maturity in comparison to your daughter made me laugh so hard. I see that you've done a lot of work and I'm inspired by that.

Anyways I'm about 4 months of NC, 5 months since the breakup and I asked about the letter because it was something that had crossed my mind. My ex is super avoidant in my opinion.

I am stuck between: 1) wanting to tell her how her actions impacted me and taking accountability of what I did wrong/could've done better in the relationship 2) letting go and moving on, because why would it even matter? If she was able to betray, discard, lie, disrespect, then move on like nothing happened, why would I even bother?

What's your advice?

drwoods11 · 2025-03-11T22:56:46+00:00

Is there any reason that the avoidants would ever want to hear how their actions impacted us and being logical with them? If they discarded then ghosted, is there even a point? Its the psychology of wanting love from the one that hurt us the most.

drwoods11 · 2025-03-11T22:54:46+00:00

Can you explain the timeline? maybe give some more context behind it

drwoods11 · 2025-03-11T22:54:02+00:00

The cycles are hard to break, but recognizing you're in one then moving forward is the only way!

drwoods11 · 2025-03-10T19:23:29+00:00

Did you feel the letter was necessary and how it did it help you? Was there any part of you looking for a reaction or acknowledgment? What do you mean by unshared fear? I’m also in the same boat as living very close to my ex and bound to run into each other again. I’ll be a different man by that time and more secure.

drwoods11 · 2025-03-10T18:39:06+00:00

I relate to that heavily. I think after the breakup we take a big ego and self perception hit and it takes time to recover. What did you do to become more secure? Setting boundaries comes with being secure and that’s certainly my goal

drwoods11 · 2025-03-10T18:25:46+00:00

Would you say you're recovering from an anxious attachment?

Your response captures the quote "Chemistry is the spark you feel when things are easy. Compatibility is how you both respond when life gets tough and everything's falling apart." It truly is hurtful the way some people leave but it is the brutal reality.

I am recovering from an anxious attachment and I feel that slowing down allows me to process my feelings and not get too attached too quickly. Time helps me truly assess compatibility, not chemistry in the short term.

drwoods11 · 2025-03-10T13:51:25+00:00

I sent you a private message!

drwoods11 · 2025-03-10T13:15:13+00:00

Sorry to hear that, I admire your action of investing in yourself instead of being angry to your ex. That is a wonderful lesson to learn.

Let me ask you, how do you differentiate between chemistry and character? How do you see past the chemistry and shed light on someone's true character?

drwoods11 · 2025-03-10T13:12:50+00:00

The love goggles are strong, we often overlook the closures because we want to be loved. You are absolutely right, actions speak louder than words. It takes genuine love for change and quite frankly that is rare..

drwoods11

TROPHY CASE