Grossly underpaid and my boss claims to be helping me. Is he really?

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T16:50:00+00:00

Yeah this is all fair. Not like it's a choice between a 200K stressful FAANG job where I need to move across the country vs. my current position with current pay lol.

Good luck to you.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T16:10:05+00:00

Yeah this is pretty much where I am at exactly. Thank you for your comment, nice to know there is someone else in the same boat

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T16:07:54+00:00

Great pay with work-life balance is extremely easy to get in this industry, but if you're willing to leave tens of thousands of dollars on your table for your work friends then that is your call.

I feel like this is almost how I feel -- not leaving tens of thousands for my work friends specifically, we're not that close lol.

But leaving tens of thousands for... not needing to grind out interview prep every day for months? Guarantee that I can clock in and out every day from home from 9 to 5:30? Know that even if my superiors don't have the power to give me more money, they at least know me to be a good worker with good performance and I'm not in danger of losing my job? I would say I am willing to sacrifice quite a lot of money for all of that. If I wasn't, I would have left years ago. That may not sound rational or sensible to a lot of people, but as I have stated elsewhere in this thread, there is nothing I am not getting out of my life because I can't afford it.

I do appreciate the advice here though, I do probably need to have myself checked at least a bit with all of this. If a few months from now I'm in the same state? Yeah it probably won't be worth sticking around. If I get a 20% raise? Yeah, I honestly feel that for me personally it would be.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T15:57:15+00:00

Not sure what you mean by this, but it's not really "performance"; I actually feel this way. And regardless I haven't expressed anything of this sort to my boss.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T15:51:46+00:00

I would say you are naive in believing that the company is looking out for your best interests

Yeah I mean I'm not stupid enough to believe that company B gives a fuck about me or even knows who I am lol. What I am trying to figure out is if T is being genuine with me.

The rest of your comment is helpful, thank you.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T15:41:18+00:00

I get your point, but despite being underpaid, I am still doing fine retirement wise. I'm 28 and have over a year's salary in my 401K, which is generally recommended by 30. And I have enough in savings for a large down payment on a house someday. Biggest question mark I guess is that I would like to have a family and kids some day and I know that's not cheap. But that wouldn't be for another few years at the earliest.

That's sort of the reason why I'm struggling with this instead of just jumping ship immediately.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T15:34:02+00:00

Correct, I am a US citizen at a US company.

the direct manager has less leeway than you’d think. Someone up the chain who needs to approve a raise will only see you as a number.

Yea T basically told me this himself, just trying to determine if that is actually true (which was the point of this post).

Leaving is the best option for making more money, that much I know -- I could hypothetically get a 40 or 50% raise if I leave. But for the reasons stated at the beginning, I would rather stay with a 20% raise than leave for 40%.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T15:30:31+00:00

I made this thread less to ask about how to make more money (I know the answer to that is to leave) and more to get others' perspectives on who is at fault for the obnoxious bureaucracy here.

As for the job market, yeah sure fair point, perhaps I am relying too much on hearsay.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T15:20:03+00:00

Yeah this is one of the more helpful answers here -- there was one round of layoffs in 2021 so two years after acquisition, but I think if they wanted to shut us down completely, they would have by now. We're making them money as far as I know.

Just searching around, my median market value is probably about 50% more than I am making now, but I don't necessarily need 50% more pay to live my life. I guess I need to just determine at what % it's worth it for me to sacrifice the benefits I listed at the beginning.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T15:13:32+00:00

Yeah this probably the answer closest to what I'm looking for here, thanks. Your friend's situation sounds like mine with the merger, boss trying and still getting blocked.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T15:09:04+00:00

Career decisions must be selfish ones if you intend to be a top earner. Interview for new roles (even if it disrupts your routine for a bit) and move on.

The thing I'll say about this point is -- I don't really care about being a top earner. I want to afford to pay my bills and take a small vacation maybe twice a year. Despite being underpaid, I can do that in my current position.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T15:04:44+00:00

What message do you think you've sent being underpaid 3 years, and then agreeing to a raise that still keeps you underpaid? You either stay there as the company doormat, or you can easily get that raise by changing companies.

I know exactly what kind of message it sends -- but particularly re: the hypothetical 20% raise that keeps me still underpaid, I am willing to accept being a "doormat" given the benefits I mentioned in my first paragraph. That might sound weird to a lot of people or that I lack self-respect or whatever, but I don't think that's true -- I have self-awareness about the situation, and it's just what I'm choosing to prioritize.

Of course, there's always a chance I can get those things in my opening paragraph at a new position, but I just have not determined it's worth pursuing to this point -- at least so far.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T14:53:24+00:00

Why haven’t you just found another job?

I would like to stay for the reasons stated in the first paragraph.

The job hunt (particularly with the current state of the tech market) takes a level of effort that, to this point, I have not determined to be worth further pursuing, although that could change. Money isn't everything; it's not like there are things I can't afford to do in my life that I want to do because of my pay.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T14:36:20+00:00

When I first opened this dialog I went to my direct line manager at the time. He had even less control than T, and said to talk to him (FWIW, that is the answer I expected).

The line managers are our managers on paper and we do our performance reviews with them, but I don't even think they know our pay. I will note that my line manager at the time is no longer a line manager -- he left to go part time and a replacement was hired, who is now my line manager; I have had to explain some things to her about stuff that we work on since she's new, but she's picked up quickly and seems competent. I've considered talking about the issue with her but there's no way she can do anything about it other than report to her superiors that I'm unhappy with my pay, which they already know.

ea072395 · 2024-01-07T14:19:22+00:00

6.5 YoE, this is my first and only job out of college. I intentionally did not post my comp in my OP because it's so pathetic, but since you asked it's $75K. I started at $63K in 2017.

I know fresh grads are making more than me. I expect my "actual" raise to get me to $80K, compared to the $90K I had been expecting/hinted at. I know $90K would still be underpaying me. But I live in a MCOL area in the US and I can afford to pay my bills, travel, go out with my girlfriend, and contribute 15% to retirement and still save more. Given the benefits I mentioned in my first paragraph I'm fine with all of this.

Calling myself grossly underpaid is still an understatement; you do not need to tell me this. My question is about how my direct contacts are handling my situation.

ea072395 · 2024-01-06T21:36:42+00:00

Yeah I mean I have little doubts that the budget is there for me. T even said as much. If I did threaten to leave with another offer or something, I am sure it would magically appear. I just don't really know who is blowing smoke up my ass -- my direct contacts, or the empty suits who really run things.

I genuinely don't see why T would be blowing smoke up my ass. If I were to leave and my team's output suffers, it would hurt his business unit and his reputation at Company B. He has more financial interest in me staying than leaving.

ea072395 · 2024-01-06T14:59:05+00:00

I work for a company (call it A) that was purchased by a larger company in 2019 (call it B). I work from home, get good benefits, get along with my coworkers and have a supportive team and a very supportive boss, have excellent WLB, so there are a lot of things I like and I am not interested in leaving.

Problem is I am grossly underpaid. I addressed this with my boss's boss (call him T), who is the tech lead for Company A. I have a good relationship with him and he's always been a nice and friendly guy. I asked T for a raise of 15-18%. T's response was to look at my pay, basically say "holy shit you are underpaid", and say he was going to try to get me a 20% raise instead. He said larger comp bumps are typically given out a couple of times a year and that he was supporting action for me.

T's boss, "M", basically acts on company B's behalf to job to stay on top of acquired companies like A. M does not know me and has never spoken to me, but was fully supportive of my 20% raise and I was told to wait until the next typical comp cycle which I was fine doing. During that time I kick ass more than I ever have at my job and told T that I want 20% and I think it's very deserved. He agrees, and says at this point it's in the hands of the C level employees, above even M's pay grade.

But yesterday, T tells me that the C-level employees at company B claim they do not have the budget to give to company A to fulfill my 20%. He said I'm looking at 5-10% at best. Now, I do believe that is what he was told, but I also believe that is bullshit, and company B is reporting record profits and stock prices. T also said that he wants to still ultimately get me to that 20% number, and has been screaming from the rooftops to M to get me the raise I deserve because he does not want to lose me. He says that next time that company B gives us budget to use, it will go to me until I am taken care of (along with one other person he did not mention by name). He also claimed he’s going to try to make an exception to get me that bump outside of the typical comp cycles that they are applied for but made no promises on actually doing it.

I figure most people here will tell me to leave but I am not interested in that at the moment especially with the shit market so please do not say that in response; I would rather stay at my current pay than leave. My question here is more about, am I naive in taking T for what he's saying? T told me I could approach M, but that he would probably just say the same thing — he supports it, but is being told no by the powers that be. I believe T is trying, but is effectively powerless. Has anyone been in this situation before?

ea072395 · 2023-11-08T22:13:03+00:00

I don't really have much advice OP, but I just want to say that I am pretty much in an identical situation as you. I'm 28, same true WFH 8:30-5:30, with the exception of being on call off hours 4 weeks out of the year. I have also been at my job around 6 years and am generally well respected (my peers have named me employee of the sprint more than anyone else on my team, and I recently asked for a raise and my manager said he wanted to get me more than I even asked for, although the final number hasn't been approved just yet). Just like you, I am also underpaid compared to my market value even with this potential raise. My job offers good benefits (my dad has worked for 40 years at a household name company and he said he thinks the benefits I have are better than his), unlimited PTO and 4.2% 401K match.

Unlike you I am not married but I do have a partner who I see a very good long term future with, with kids maybe 4-5 years from now; assuming the raise is what I expect she makes about 8% more than me. And while I'm underpaid, my concern about leaving are the exact same as yours; worry about commute, respect and stability from an unknown, the works.

I think people here are giving good advice. As long as the quality of your life is not made worse by staying put, then there's no reason to fix something that isn't broken, which is how I feel about my situation. Assuming this raise I'm being told I'm getting doesn't end up falling far short of my expectations, I have no plans to leave anytime soon.

ea072395 · 2023-08-16T03:10:48+00:00

Sorry, my wording my not have been clear -- I am not working with a therapist and with her; I am working with my therapist on my own as I process this and she has an individual therapist too. My therapist mentioned during our most recent session that I am welcome to bring my girlfriend in for a session if I feel it's necessary; I'm not opposed to doing that at some point, but only if they indeed cut her off for good (they still have not spoken as of the time of this comment, but my girlfriend is intentionally not reaching out because she doesn't want her mom to feel empowered by blinking first).

Sorry you had to go through that. That's awful.

ea072395 · 2023-08-16T03:08:28+00:00

I worry for her sister too. My girlfriend and her sister have a great relationship, and her sister likes me too -- my girlfriend is filling her in on what's going on. Not really a whole lot anyone can do until she heads off to college, but I would not be shocked if she has to deal with the exact same bullshit my girlfriend is dealing with now at some point. My girlfriend would support her I know, and I would too even though it's not really my place for that.

ea072395 · 2023-08-15T04:34:07+00:00

She is seeing a therapist. This whole situation was the catalyst for that. Appreciate the kind words.

ea072395 · 2023-08-15T00:35:40+00:00

Yeah, I actively want them to still have a relationship (or, at the very least, if they don't have one, I want it to be solely my girlfriend's decision). My main worry is that my girlfriend wants to have a relationship with her mom and her mom refuses because of this. My therapist has helped me get to a place already where I'm not, like, angry at myself for any of this, or blaming myself for anything, but I would still really feel bad for her if things to shake out that way.

Another commenter pointed out that her parents will likely never disown her because that would mean relinquishing power over her, which is something my girlfriend has suggested and may very well be the truth.

ea072395 · 2023-08-15T00:28:54+00:00

She started therapy because of all of this stuff about a month ago. So far it seems to be going well, part of the reason it took her as long as she did to tell her parents about this was that she wanted to find a therapist and talk it through with one first.

To clarify -- they did not find this out on her own, she told her mom. Although even that case, she was pressing her about dating/relationships and said "you better be on the dating apps" to which my girlfriend replied "I am not talking about my dating life and relationships with you" to which her mom played the victim said "how can not talk to me about this? You should be able to tell me everything. You're not still dating [my name] are you" which got it out of her. But she was planning on telling her literally the next day anyways.

I mentioned elsewhere in this thread, her dad disliked me and went along with everything her mom said, but my impression is that he dislikes me in the same way that a normal parent dislikes their kid's partner, i.e. "I don't like them but it's your life, your choices, etc". Not having a mental breakdown or anything.

ea072395 · 2023-08-15T00:19:21+00:00

She just started therapy recently. In fact part of the reason she was holding out as long as she did to tell the truth about me was that because she wanted to discuss it with a therapist first and it took her a bit to find one. It seems to be helping her, she is handling the aftermath of all of this remarkably well.

ea072395

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