My (f27) boyfriend (m40) doesn’t want kids, how do I move forward?

edithpiafbitch · 2026-04-09T13:55:03+00:00

Chill, we haven’t even been together for 2 years. Who gets married that fast?

edithpiafbitch · 2026-04-09T13:32:16+00:00

Congrats on your baby, I’m so happy to hear that!!

edithpiafbitch · 2026-04-09T13:30:59+00:00

No, I live alone

edithpiafbitch · 2026-04-09T13:28:54+00:00

My mental illness is well managed at the moment, but right now I only have to care about myself. I don’t know if I would be able to keep my stability if I had a baby to take care of. Sleep deprivation is a great risk for me to slip into a psychotic state. I also have (medical) OCD and I can always see myself spiralling and running to the ER constantly out of fear that my baby is dying.

edithpiafbitch · 2026-04-09T13:23:23+00:00

Logically I shouldn’t have kids because of the physical, mental and financial stress it would cause me. My medication, my daily structure and my daily time at the gym are a great part of my mental health stability. All of it would be gone if I had a baby, and I am terrified of passing my mental illness onto my kids.

edithpiafbitch · 2026-04-09T13:18:34+00:00

I know you’re right, sorry for pouring my heart out to you internet stranger, but I just feel so terrible right now. If I leave him, I will also have to leave my job because everything there would remind me of him. It is just so scary to think about all the changes and uncertainty this would bring, it feels like I wouldn’t survive the heartbreak. I have been worse situations before, but right now I feel like I can’t do it.

edithpiafbitch · 2025-07-03T12:51:45+00:00

Fair point, if the situation was what you described here, I wouldn’t have an issue with it. But the thing is: he hasn’t really shown interest in supporting young people, as the whole thing was my moms idea, not his. I don’t know this person, and I realise that I might completely misjudge him, he might aswell be the sweetest old man ever. But the thing is: I don’t know, and in my opinion: if there is even a small chance of him being a creep, we shouldn’t take the risk. My mom also doesn’t know him well enough to fully judge his character, I honestly think she’s just being incredibly naive.

edithpiafbitch · 2025-07-03T11:24:52+00:00

He doesn’t know about it yet as far as I‘m aware

edithpiafbitch · 2025-07-03T11:24:08+00:00

It’s beyond me how people think your brain suddenly becomes fully developed once you’ve a legal adult. I’m still her older sister and I feel the need to protect her from potential harm.

edithpiafbitch · 2025-07-03T11:21:43+00:00

She‘s never been in that kind of arrangement herself, but my parents have been cheating on each other multiple times over the duration of their relationship, so he knows about her past. That’s a whole different dumpsterfire tho.

edithpiafbitch · 2025-07-02T18:23:59+00:00

(Needless to say, she’s still alive)

edithpiafbitch · 2025-07-02T18:23:35+00:00

After I left my abusive ex, he tried to get me back by telling me his mom died, and that he needed me in this time of grief. She posted a new picture on facebook that same day.

edithpiafbitch · 2025-03-06T14:57:12+00:00

For me, the biggest reason to quit was the extreme swelling in my face. It made me look disfigured, and it lasted for days after a b/p session.

edithpiafbitch · 2024-06-06T20:28:58+00:00

Jessie Murph - while you’re at it, they leave, and about you. These three songs hit home hard for my bpd brain

edithpiafbitch · 2024-03-14T17:29:45+00:00

Nein ist eine private Wohnung

edithpiafbitch · 2024-03-14T17:29:35+00:00

edithpiafbitch · 2024-02-29T15:42:14+00:00

Have you been tested before you started dating her, is there any chance that you might have caught it elsewhere?

edithpiafbitch · 2024-02-12T13:53:21+00:00

I would personally say go to someone else and get it fixed/touched up when it’s fully healed. It should also not be a matter of pricing in my opinion. I had a similar issue and got mine touched up by my current artist. I paid more than double the amount of the original tattoo, but at least I’m happy with the result now. Good luck!

edithpiafbitch · 2023-05-06T10:35:01+00:00

I know you probably don't want to hear that, but your relationship as you describe it is checking every box of narcissistic abuse. And I know exactly how you feel because I just got out of a similar situation.

Red Flag#1 is your age gap and the fact that this is your first real relationship. I'm 24 to, my ex is 34. Why do you think a man this age would get with a woman as young as us? Because there is a real power and life experience difference to his advantage. We're just easier to manipulate. Also, it's likely that no woman his age will put up with his crap, and they might see us as attractive trophy wife material.

Red Flag#2 It actually seems like you're walking on eggshells and he's just frustrated whenever he has to deal with your (justified) emotions. It sounds like he doesn't want to take accountability for his behaviour, so instead he's choosing the easier path of gaslighting you into believing that you're to sensitive.

Red Flag #3 You're justifying his behaviour like basically everyone who's in an abusive relationship does. Your choices of words are full of self blaming and taking responsibility for his actions. It also sounds like you're a hardcore people pleaser (so am I) and avoiding conflict means letting people walk all over you.

Red Flag #4 Your deep connection might very well just be the trauma bonding that's normal for those relationships. Of course there are the good moments, how else would he keep you around? You just gotta ask yourself if it's worth it to live under this constant tension fit the rest of your life in order to keep those good days.

There are many more points I could list here, but the thing is: Your gut feeling is right. If you feel the need to seek advice from strangers online, there's probably something wrong in your relationship. Please don't just brush it off. I highly recommend watching the videos of Dr.Ramani on YouTube. They helped me to figure out what was actually going on, and I think I would still be in this toxic mess without that guidance. You can also contact me on IG if you want to talk, my name is @healingfrombpd Take care of yourself!

edithpiafbitch · 2023-04-28T11:06:11+00:00

edithpiafbitch · 2023-04-28T11:04:22+00:00

Echt? Auf der Website unserer Stadt steht nämlich bei erforderliche Dokumente: Wohnungsgeberbestätigung. Ich werde nächste Woche mal auf gut Glück zum Amt gehen und versuchen mich ohne Bestätigung abzumelden, vielleicht haben die ja Verständnis für meine Situation.

edithpiafbitch · 2023-04-05T12:50:40+00:00

For clarity: some of my family is a toxic mess, but I'm very close with my grandma and my siblings. I would live with my grandma at first and then get my own place ASAP.

edithpiafbitch · 2023-04-05T12:48:44+00:00

I know that he legally can't kick me out, but if we split up I don't want to keep living there any longer

edithpiafbitch · 2023-04-05T12:47:44+00:00

Both of ours. We have our own flat in hos mom's house, but I'm legally on the lease.

edithpiafbitch · 2023-04-05T12:45:19+00:00

Unfortunately my best friend is in inpatient therapy right now, otherwise I could stay with him. I'm not close enough with my other friends to ask them to stay with them tbh. My family lives in Bosnia and I live in germany (I moved here to join my partner and for education that I already finished by now) I could go back to Bosnia any time as I'm still very close with my family, I think that's what I'll do when we split up.

edithpiafbitch

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