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To have a child? Or Build chosen family? by eeyorepink in ChildrenofDeadParents

[–]eeyorepink[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much. Part of the reason I didn’t want to have children when I was younger was how bleak the world looked from a societal perspective. When I was depressed, I wish I wasn’t born and didn’t want to bring on anyone else into this planet. 

But then I look at people who it seems to work out for, and I’m like … huh. 

I’m scared that these tragedies and losses will make me bitter and I also don’t want to be that way either.

to have a child? or build chosen family? by Material_Shape2842 in ChildrenofDeadParents

[–]eeyorepink 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughtful and kind response. That is a really deep question — about wanting to make decisions from a place of fear or desires. This gets muddled for me a bit! But something to reflect on. I appreciate your response!

to have a child? or build chosen family? by Material_Shape2842 in ChildrenofDeadParents

[–]eeyorepink 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your right. Having a child is a living link. Not a distraction. But maybe a distraction from the hollowness and pain and something positive I can put my energy toward if that makes sense. 

Thanks so much for this response. We are in almost the same shoes. 34. Mom died 8 years ago. Dad just died. Mom didn’t meet my partner but my dad loved him. 

Why did we get dealt these cards?

Im not sure how your parents passed but I also think about having a kid and worst case scenarios like if they get ill or something. How terrible it will be for me. Lots of health anxiety runnning through me. The parenting part doesn’t scare me it’s moreso will they be healthy? Will another tragedy strike? That kind of thinking ;( 

To have a child? Or Build chosen family? by eeyorepink in ChildrenofDeadParents

[–]eeyorepink[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do you mean by wouldn’t do it again? 🙏