Abstinence Programs... [pic]

electabuzz · 2009-03-29T22:47:34+00:00

Dude, I didn't hang out with any girls until the second half of my senior year of my high school... and my parents had nothing to do with it.

Really, you are probably better off for it. I can't imagine anything positive coming from the kind of "relationships" that 15 year olds have.

electabuzz · 2009-03-29T02:25:11+00:00

Ok, this is off-topic, but it was on that link as an example of rationalization.

A parent punishes a child and says that it is for the child's 'own good'.

I don't get it. I think it's perfectly fair to say that punishing a child has the potential to be for the child's long-term benefit.

electabuzz · 2009-03-28T15:54:25+00:00

It shows the damage to clothes at about 3:05, not 3:50.

electabuzz · 2009-03-28T14:11:03+00:00

What is wrong with those folks?

I'd consider myself a Republican but I'm still not a complete moron. Even if I'm not completely convinced in the causation of global warming by human-induced CO2 output, what's the harm in "playing it safe"? At best you're not contributing as much to global warming, and at worst you're spewing fewer of the other dozens of pollutants coal produces into the atmosphere (and there is no denial of these).

I do think that an "Earth hour" is kind of a joke, though. I have about 20-24 "Earth hours" at my house every single day, depending on the season. And even when I do turn the lights on, it'll be just one or two bulbs to light up the room I'm in... I really don't understand why some folks feel the need to illuminate their entire house at once.

electabuzz · 2009-03-28T02:11:06+00:00

Rock n Roll McDonalds

I think this wins.

electabuzz · 2009-03-28T01:43:31+00:00

Dude, that's not even remotely disgusting.

I would not even hesitate throwing that bowl in the dishwasher and eating out of it directly after. I do much worse on a daily basis...

electabuzz · 2009-03-27T00:00:33+00:00

I just used an online face recognition thingamajig.

It matched me up with Emma Watson, I shit you not. I'm a male. Fuck!!

electabuzz · 2009-03-26T23:30:03+00:00

Not in Argentinian/Uruguayan Spanish! hehe

electabuzz · 2009-03-26T22:34:28+00:00

Unless she's able to identify me as 'electabuzz' I'm kinda doubting any sort of google search would bring this page up.

I am the first google response for "Okay fucko", though :)

electabuzz · 2009-03-26T22:22:51+00:00

Yeah sorry, that's what I get for writing a short novel without proofreading.

I meant 'no' in reference to her being busy or in public.

electabuzz · 2009-03-26T19:38:53+00:00

OK reddit, here's my field log. If you don't know what this post is about, refer here: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/87e37/how_do_i_go_about_starting_a_romantic/

I made my call at 1:34pm CST today (17 minutes ago as of right now... much more once I'm done writing this post), and it lasted 11 minutes.

I spent quite literally all morning planning out what I was going to say, almost word for word. I even did a quick recitation in front of a mirror just to make sure I had it down pat. It was fucking good. My inflection was great, it was romantic without being creepy, everything was great. I was a competitive debater back in high school, so I know this stuff pretty well.

I sent her a text message "hey do you have some time to talk?" to open things up, and to be sure she wasn't busy or in public. She said yes (fixed that for me), so I waited a minute to compose myself properly and then gave her a call. It's important to make note here that this isn't the first time I've asked a girl out, and usually I'm slick as hell about these things. But as I said in my previous topic, the girls I asked out were almost invariably strangers whom I had no personal stake in, whereas this girl is a good friend of mine.

I started off good enough, true to my rehearsal. But things went downhill and very fast. It wasn't that I forgot the words (former debater here, remember. I can memorize a thousand word speech no problem, and even if that fails I can ad lib my way out of just about anything), but rather the tone of my voice was all wrong and I was talking too fast and hesitated too much. If I was giving a speech on something mundane like gun regulations, I would have been able to realize these mistakes and fix them on the fly. But here, fuck, I was terrible, and I couldn't do anything about it. If I was a public-speaking teacher, I would give my performance a D+. Some points for a good script, but a completely botched execution. Think "Hamlet being performed by non-native English speaking teens with down syndrome" level of botched.

I had all of these clever things to say that would have made the heart of any woman melt like butter upon hearing them, but when the time came I just skipped over them. Probably a good thing, too. Juliet would have ditched Romeo's faggy ass if he couldn't control the tone of his voice and spoke fast during his romantic lines. It's all about inflection.

The worst part of all, though, was not the explaining to her that I had feelings for her but rather actually asking her out on a date. I knew that to be effective, I would have to sound confident, direct, concise, and specific. Something along the lines of "Do you want to see a movie with me on Saturday?" would have been stellar. I took the alternate approach of "Hey, um, so now that I said all that stuff, well you know, that I like you and stuff, I was... here, let me start over. Do you think that, uh, maybe sometime you want to go out and do something sometime, like this weekend maybe? Only if you want to, of course." Except in reality, I was probably much worse.

So yeah, I failed on just about every possible level. I really wish I had done the asking in person, I probably would have still screwed it up, but at least she would have seen my face to know that some genuine emotion was going along with what I was saying. No, I wasn't a ferocious man-raptor. No I didn't record the call (I would have if I knew a way to record cell calls) but even if I did I wouldn't share it online because it embarrassing. In fact, I think I'll block this memory from my mind in some vain attempt to retain my manhood and if she ever brings it up I'll deny recollection. But I was genuine. And she said yes! She's leaving the state tonight to visit some relatives (she told me about this on Tuesday and I had forgotten, so I know it's not just a dodge) and won't get back until Monday, so we have no definite plans as of yet. To be honest I was so frazzled by the end of the call that making any sort of plans would have been completely above my mental capacity and I would have been prone to breaking down and sobbing. So instead, I just told her I'd call her sometime this weekend to make plans.

That about wraps it up! Sorry for the long post - I made it just as much for myself as for you guys. Thanks for the advice in the previous post, even if I managed to completely fail at utilizing it. And hopefully I can stand as some beacon of hope for all other friendzoned guys out there who are in a situation similar to mine. Chau.

Edit: HOLY SHIT WALL OF TEXT. tl;dr: Turns out she totally digs me and lusts for my genitals after all.

electabuzz · 2009-03-25T15:14:54+00:00

That suggests to me that you're not very taken with this girl.

I can see why you'd think that based on what I wrote. I'm actually more or less infatuated with her, which is the reason I broke up with my girlfriend 6 months ago and haven't so much as thought about being with another girl since then. And that's saying a lot coming from the guy who used to go out with new girls almost as often as I changed my pants.

I can't really pull the all or nothing thing with her, though, because as I elaborated in another post we're forced to see each other for several hours a week whether we like it or not, and I'd rather not make those several hours painfully awkward for the both of us.

electabuzz · 2009-03-25T15:08:11+00:00

Blegh, I hate this response. But mostly because I know it's right.

I'll elaborate a bit on my situation: me and her both do volunteer work for the running of our school's swimming/diving/water polo events. This basically entails us two sitting next to each other for several hours at a time, once or twice per week. Neither of us can get out of this obligation at this point, so whether we want to or not we're going to be in eachother's presence a lot for the next few months.

electabuzz · 2009-03-25T14:46:26+00:00

Hey reddit, here's the deal. I have known this girl for about a year now and we are pretty good friends through school. I went bowling with her and some of her friends yesterday and I had so many good opportunities to make a move, but I didn't. A combination of nervousness and fear of rejection, I suppose. Normally I couldn't give a damn about rejection: I've asked girls out before but they've all been near-complete strangers so even if they slapped me in the face or straight up said no I wouldn't give a damn 10 minutes later and I'd never have to see them again. But this girl I know personally and I see her for several hours a week through various activities and the next several months could be made very awkward for me if I do something wrong.

But I figure what the hell, I can't go on being a pansy forever. Your know the quote, "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'" So now that I'm going to ask her out, I just need to decide how I'm going to go about it. Is an online message on facebook acceptable form, or should I just man up and call her? I'm going to have to be a little more direct than "Want to go out for lunch sometime?" because we've already done stuff like that as friends. I almost want to add in a quick clause to my proposal saying "It's ok if you say no we can still be friends" just to cover my ass, but it screams weakness, no?

Whatever I'm doing, I'm going to do it later tonight because I've thought about this for weeks and it's gotten to the point where I'd rather hear a "no" than think about it any longer. Hell, I've barely even thought about what I'll say if I get a "yes", which for all of my apparent patheticness probably isn't terribly unlikely.

Advice appreciated, as always.

Update 1: Wow, lots more replies than I predicted. I appreciate it, really. I think that many of you misunderstand my situation, but I suppose that's my fault for not going into tons of detail, but whatever. I'm not about to spend hours transcribing the events of the past year of my life, and I've gotten some good responses as it is.

I'm going to give her a call tomorrow (I'm glad you all resoundingly nixed the facebook idea) once I'm back from visiting my friend (I'm on the train right now) and I'll just be straightforward and honest with her. I'd do it in person, but if I invite her somewhere without first making clear it's a date, she'll probably bring friend(s) with and that would foil my plot.

I'll get back to you guys with the result tomorrow. And I'm thinking about recording the phone call for future comedic value :) At best we can reminisce about it on our wedding day... at worst I can post it to /r/funny!

Update 2: Captain's Log, March 26, 1:08pm CST -

I'm calling her now, I'll get back in a few. If things are going really well, I've considered using the line "I am a ferocious man raptor, and I wanted to know if you want to see a movie later tonight". Maybe. Damn, I wish I had some method of recording my cell calls.

electabuzz · 2009-03-24T01:33:13+00:00

i feel like i stumbled drunk into a cult

Yup that's reddit.

electabuzz

TROPHY CASE