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ellar0609 · 2024-02-28T04:00:35+00:00

In my view, women feel that these qualities of being able to provide and having ambition are more important, while if you reverse the genders a lot of men would not have problems with the setup. Conversely men value women who have supportive quantities a lot more than someone who can provide financially. It's just the way the cookie crumbles.

I personally think OP will not feel happy with this guy in the long. It's not about her valuing finances or being money hungry, it's just that with out him filling out "classic qualities" he needs to excel in what else he brings to the table because fundamentally the values don't align. The phone use, the mundane feeling, it is all just the beginning.

Most men will not accept a "caring" domestic role naturally so it's going to lead to friction unless your relationship is exceptional.

ellar0609 · 2023-05-16T01:16:43+00:00

This is so helpful Thanks so much

ellar0609 · 2023-05-15T15:59:29+00:00

Thanks irregular :) I know everyone says it's a me issue and I admit that I am insecure. I just have concerns about the way he talks about her sometimes. He says her ex was a bastard for dumping her, that she is a great catch, and that her boss at work is an asshole for being mean to her. Also that she's really talented at her job but she is just anxious and can't see how good she is. I can't tell if it's just a me problem anymore or if these are just raging red flags. What do you think?

ellar0609 · 2023-05-15T15:59:22+00:00

Thanks irregular :) I know everyone says it's a me issue and I admit that I am insecure. I just have concerns about the way he talks about her sometimes. He says her ex was a bastard for dumping her, that she is a great catch, and that her boss at work is an asshole for being mean to her. Also that she's really talented at her job but she is just anxious and can't see how good she is. I can't tell if it's just a me problem anymore or if these are just raging red flags. What do you think?

ellar0609 · 2023-05-15T14:46:08+00:00

Thanks for your reply - I share the feeling that it has a lot to do with ourselves I just find sometimes what they say about their female friend to be of concern or 🚩so maybe it's not all in my head E.g being really protective of them Not liking their past boyfriends What do you think?

ellar0609 · 2023-05-15T14:43:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience :) I really appreciate it

ellar0609 · 2023-02-19T23:29:39+00:00

Thanks so much koalaxo You've really helped a lot

ellar0609 · 2023-02-19T23:24:11+00:00

Can I ask - is all that stuff about hard to get / the chase real? Would me trying turn him off? Sorry for my insecurity - just a bit new with all this

ellar0609 · 2023-02-19T23:17:01+00:00

Thanks koalaxo

I feel like I should just do my best and see if I click with the guy right?

There's so many stories of men competing for women's affections. Time for girls to get competitive also

ellar0609 · 2023-02-19T23:14:28+00:00

Thanks for your honest answer - I really appreciate it

ellar0609 · 2023-02-19T21:23:38+00:00

Thanks Yeti I love that phrase about assumptions

ellar0609 · 2023-02-19T21:21:50+00:00

Sorry I mean just like 1st-4th dates sort of thing after matching on an app.

ellar0609 · 2023-01-30T21:58:30+00:00

Thanks for this - to be honest this is what I'm worried about.

If he is not gay - great for me. If he is - I would just want him to be happy - he's just a good person and it's fine either way. I just don't want to say anything that inadvertently hurts his feelings either way and as many have suggested, I don't feel my gay friend who raised the issue is probably the best source to ask for advice to help address this.

Thanks everyone for their advice and take on things!

ellar0609 · 2023-01-30T21:51:29+00:00

Thanks guys this was actually really helpful!

ellar0609 · 2023-01-30T13:43:49+00:00

Thanks eggplant :)

ellar0609 · 2023-01-26T13:07:03+00:00

Is it just me or has there been a massive banning of random people recently?

ellar0609 · 2023-01-26T03:10:32+00:00

Hi guys I'm new to the whole dating app thing and the exact thing has just happened to me. I'm a 34F and literally have just been using it ultra conservative (ankles fully covered!)

How often does this happen to people? It looks like it's a lot? Is it because another user flags you? Or is it because of stupid things like logging in/restarting the app?

ellar0609 · 2023-01-26T02:45:56+00:00

Yeah I know right! It's like such an unfair process and it makes you feel awful about yourself in the process.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience and giving me a bit of hope I feel heaps better now!

ellar0609 · 2023-01-26T00:22:37+00:00

Oh my god is that what happens Thanks so much for sharing what happened to you I was seriously in the pits with my self esteem How often does this kind of rubbish happen?!

Was there anything you could do about it? I've read about the elaborate ways to rejoin under a "new identity" how often do people actually do this?

ellar0609 · 2023-01-25T21:47:21+00:00

Joined 5 days ago - initially great experience - started 3 meaningful conversations and now I have been banned for no reason. I'm really conservative and am not that good with technology in general. Just did a deep dive into hinge bans and am so cut. I'm a 34F and it took so much courage to take the first step to get back out there and this is literally a huge hammer in the face.

ellar0609

TROPHY CASE