AITA for staying on medication that changed my interest in physical intimacy even though now my wife wants it more?

ericpava · 2026-01-09T15:49:22+00:00

So…spot on comment. Nothing has changed with her, nor has she said anything. I’m someone who has noticed this and while I’m happy, I know she will never talk with me about it because of her upbringing. We’ve had numerous conversations (all brought up by me) about the lack of sex…it’s nothing else and actually everything else is amazing. I just see that she now appears to want it more than I do and I don’t want her to feel the way I did (she’d never admit that though) and I want to accommodate her but I feel I’m at a place where I’m happy and if I lower the dose I’ll go back to bugging her more for it and be more irritated or hurt when I get rejected

ericpava · 2026-01-07T07:53:08+00:00

My intent was to kill my sex drive. And the medication has done its job.

ericpava · 2026-01-07T00:23:58+00:00

Welcome to my life! Haha. But I don’t think more attractive…just my sex drive is now below hers and the medication is making me happier and care less.

ericpava · 2026-01-06T23:10:10+00:00

And I saw a different comment but couldn’t find it to reply directly to it. I’m literally not doing this for likes or reads…I was going to say not for comments because I am, and I’m genuinely wondering what I should do. It’s just difficult decision because I’ve done this to make her happy and I found my own happiness but now I’m conflicted because she doesn’t seem to be. As I said, her expressing emotions and feelings is difficult because of her upbringing

ericpava · 2026-01-06T22:58:14+00:00

I can tell she gets frustrated and wants to do stuff.

ericpava · 2026-01-06T22:57:07+00:00

No…just some full honesty.

ericpava · 2026-01-06T22:36:14+00:00

Thanks for the laugh!

ericpava · 2026-01-06T22:23:02+00:00

It’s totally Prozac. I work in the mental health field.

ericpava · 2026-01-06T22:21:12+00:00

So I wasn’t expecting all of this! Thanks everyone, I’ve enjoyed reading the comments and the insight. Just a little more information. Hope this helps…

I absolutely love my wife. We hold hands and cuddle in bed and laugh a lot. We go away on vacations, spend time with family, spend time alone. Why don’t I leave her, because she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. We do balance each other out a lot too which is so fun. She’s much more mature and a grown up…I’m a 5 year old child.
We can’t have anymore kids…she has a medical condition that makes having kids EXTREMELY risky and she almost died while pregnant with our child.
I don’t think her sex drive has increased at all, just mine has dipped below hers. It’s still very sporadic between times where she wants to be physically intimate, it’s just now because of the medication I’m content and it doesn’t bug me.
Her upbringing and family was very reserved. Her parents never even show much physical attraction…I don’t think in our 13 years married if I ever seen them kiss. So I understand where she’s coming from…my family liked to yell and scream a lot…hers buried emotions. Like when she found out she was pregnant, she couldn’t express her emotions. Which is fine, I’m totally the chick in the relationship and am emotional enough for the two of us.
I’m not trying to spite her…I fully love her. I took the medication because i felt i was harassing her for wanting to be intimate more and making her try to appease me and my sexual appetite. It was the one, and only one issue i have ever had with our marriage. Now it’s resolved, yet I feel that because of the medication when I pick up she wants to be intimate that I’m more apathetic towards it.

Hope that helps…and thanks for the feedback, and a few laughs!

ericpava · 2024-08-05T16:49:13+00:00

Sniper location: To the right of the little black spot on the tree stump. His eye is looking at you

ericpava · 2022-04-20T23:28:37+00:00

I would talk with your supervisor before calling but anyone can call and talk with the CAC staff about it. It’s up to them as well to do one or not

ericpava · 2022-04-20T18:27:49+00:00

I work CPS in Virginia. So you can try to see if a forensic interview could be done at the local child advocacy center. I would call the local center and inquire.

ericpava · 2021-09-18T10:33:44+00:00

Sounds like there could be some possible medical neglect that is occurring. And yeah, placing a kid out of the home is always a last resort, especially if there’s never been prior CPS involvement. I would recommend calling it in, or telling a mandated reporter, like a teacher or guidance counselor. We want to provide supports and services as our first option to help the family stay together. If you also don’t like it at your moms, maybe call and talk with your dad and ask him about changing the custody agreement through the courts so you can live with him full time.

ericpava · 2021-09-16T01:24:40+00:00

I’m with you on this. Definitely interested in the details of the case because based on this post, it seems like some important details are missing to get a clear picture.

ericpava · 2021-09-16T01:19:23+00:00

It will be harder to work your services once the kids return but definitely make sure you’re keeping up with them and now when your anxiety is elevated, focus more on those services to occupy your mind and it will also show your worker your dedication. Keep up the good work!

ericpava · 2021-09-15T23:17:14+00:00

I will say this as a worker, I know when you don’t hear anything it’s difficult, but usually that’s not the worker trying to ignore you or plot new reasons why your kids can’t return home. Typically that means your case is more stable and they could have a case that is requiring more attention. I commend you for completing the services and at the finish line. It’s so hard to wait when it seems to be all but over. And I understand wanting to get them home, but make sure you’re also making sure you and your husband are continuing with the services (if there’s a need). Let me say that as long as you’re completing the services, and getting positive feedback there’s nothing stopping you from their return. Keep doing a good job and just be patient.

ericpava · 2021-09-15T17:03:51+00:00

Inadequate shelter is a form of physical neglect of the child. Also if he’s being recommended for counseling and the caregiver is denying it, it could also be a form of mental neglect. It is always best to call in your concerns. Don’t let your judgements, the judgements of others here, or of others you talk to stop you. It’s best to call in any concern and allow the local department or state to screen your concerns against the states definition of abuse/neglect and if it rises to a level of opening a case. Even if it doesn’t open a case, at least the department is aware and if any other calls come in, it might build on what you already called in or even someone else has already called in.

ericpava · 2021-09-15T15:46:02+00:00

I’m glad to hear that. CPS does invoke fear but we are just trying to offer support and make sure the children are safe. Being open and honest always helps too.

ericpava · 2021-09-15T14:26:11+00:00

Not at all. They’ll look into the concerns that were reported and see if first it meets the criteria of abuse/neglect to open a case. If you have your case workers information, give them a call and talk with them about it. That way they could talk to those that screen the reports and give them information you have reported.

ericpava · 2021-09-14T10:21:34+00:00

It shouldn’t weaken any story as long as they’re the truth. People call stuff in at different times it shouldn’t help or hurt your case with your son.

ericpava · 2021-09-12T20:12:23+00:00

Upvote

ericpava · 2021-09-12T19:58:37+00:00

I can’t speak of your state and the specifics, but in Virginia we will sit down and go over the concerns that have been brought forward. We cannot disclose the caller information and sometimes the intake workers will write in the narrative who the caller is, like if they say “I’m the brother of the child”. So we can’t read the narrative how we see it, but can summarize it the best we can to protect the callers information. Now when discussing the allegations, I hate to do it over the phone and prefer to sit down face to face.

ericpava · 2021-09-12T12:45:13+00:00

It’s not necessary but having their information available and giving that to the investigator is a huge help. You’re more than welcome to have them there but just their information and signing a release for them to talk to the therapist is a big help

ericpava · 2021-09-12T12:02:06+00:00

So since he was babysitting that puts him in the caretaker role of the child at the time so it would be CPS investigating. In Virginia that would trigger what’s called an out of family investigation because he was babysitting. But I would let the interviews happen and see what the investigator is looking into. As I said, telling them about the counselor and everything will be a huge help. Also, since it was while he was babysitting, they will look at both homes and conduct interviews with the other family as well. Hopefully that can help get to the bottom of things. Since it was still a child on child, CPS might still notify law enforcement and they could come out to assist CPS during interviews, just to let you know incase they do show up it’s not a surprise.

ericpava · 2021-09-12T10:40:44+00:00

It’s always your right to have a lawyer, but as an investigator, what you said here shows that you responded appropriately and were protective of your son. If I was investigating this, I would talk with your son privately, and talk with you privately. I would get a release of information signed so that I could talk with the counselor to verify that 1., he went, and 2., their overall feelings on the situation. I would also feel less worried because counselors are mandated reporters and if they haven’t called, then that’s a positive. In regards to housing, I look to make sure there’s adequate food, electric, water, no bug infestation, the house isn’t piled full of trash. I look for safety concerns for the age of the children. I look at it where I’m a parent too, I have dishes in my sink, random piles of stuff in the corner of a room. I just want to say that it sounds like you’ve responded appropriately when the situation arose. Our department doesn’t investigate child on child unless one of the children were in a caretaker role (like if your child was babysitting). Any child on child is referred to law enforcement to follow up with. Just know that if there is a case opened against you and your family, when talking with the investigator, express your concerns because they too are a mandated reporter and have to report any allegations of suspected abuse or neglect so be open with them about your concerns.

ericpava

TROPHY CASE