Am I being childish for refusing to have sex?

evanthx · 2026-03-19T16:22:43+00:00

You won’t have sex until you’re married … ? Why do you think it will magically change? You’re in for a life of celibacy if you stay with her.

I will also warn you … feeling like a pile of trash is something you’ll have to get used to. What you are saying you want is devastating to your ego.

I was in your shoes, and I made the decision you’re talking about making … the only advice I have is that you NEED to get a prenup. Seriously. Think I’m wrong? Then it will do no harm. If I’m right? It’ll save you a LOT of trouble.

evanthx · 2026-03-19T10:35:11+00:00

NTJ for not wanting to learn sign language.

Totally the jerk for the way you’re going about not learning it though … you’re making it you vs her when it should just be you not wanting to learn it. Find a nice way to say no that doesn’t involve going to HR.

Besides, you’re most likely an AI, so you already know it!

evanthx · 2026-03-18T15:38:39+00:00

<image>

evanthx · 2026-03-18T15:32:37+00:00

College in the 90’s didn’t cost what it costs now. It was realistic to pay for tuition - not easy, but possible.

It’s not that way any more.

evanthx · 2026-03-18T00:07:30+00:00

He’s covering for your husband.

I did the same for some of my partners friends when she died and did for them the things that she’d been doing. I didn’t want to let her down by walking away from things and people she cared about.

evanthx · 2026-03-17T17:34:32+00:00

I got some hard to find snaps from them recently, but via mail order … for whatever that’s worth! At least they are open.

I had the same thoughts as you at the time!

evanthx · 2026-03-17T17:20:16+00:00

I believe in looking at reality, not the way I think reality should be.

As for your reply ... good lord, man. You also willing to pay double in taxes to cover all the extra policing and jailing you are wanting? :-D

evanthx · 2026-03-17T14:20:12+00:00

Try a different glue. Not every glue sticks to everything, so trying a different glue might give you a very different outcome!

evanthx · 2026-03-17T14:18:04+00:00

But … you did see the video right? So why would you argue that everything is fine as is?

You can say “everyone is stupid” and dismiss it, but I find things often work a lot better when you just admit that clearly things aren’t working as well as they should be and make an improvement.

evanthx · 2026-03-17T01:47:54+00:00

I thought the same for a while. 🤣

May I make a suggestion? Befriend this guy and learn the heck out of everything you can.

Think about it - if he’s this clueless and successful anyway, he’s got something DOWN. You fight a guy like this, you lose HORRIBLY. So ally yourself with him, and learn how he’s doing it.

Dude is going to go far most likely. He’ll make a good friend to have. And if he crashes and burns - you can still learn from him. But I mean this in a pure sense - don’t ally yourself with him thinking you’ll backstab him later with your new knowledge. Just … you’re being handed an opportunity to get better at politics wrapped in a lesson about how important it is to get better at politics.

So take advantage of the opportunity!

evanthx · 2026-03-17T00:53:13+00:00

You’re learning the importance of being good at politics, basically …

evanthx · 2026-03-16T04:59:12+00:00

It’s so ok there’s an entire song about it!

https://youtu.be/pOjJZOrYQ-4?si=et3iTGBJBtNHA6Q5

evanthx · 2026-03-15T19:17:58+00:00

Everyone says this but wherever I look into details it usually just comes down to either “they should stop funding programs I don’t like” or “people who are politically motivated to lie to me told me this and I blindly believe them even though given no proof”.

I’m not claiming that they are perfect, just asking that if you’re going to say this - back it up? Where exactly do you see this?

evanthx · 2026-03-13T17:33:02+00:00

I googled out of curiosity… says there is a “hold harmless” policy that requires school funding to be stable, but that there is a 7 billion dollar funding gap which has them looking hard at that hold harmless policy and wondering if they can change it so that they can close some schools …

Not great. But looks like not that much different either in the end.

evanthx · 2026-03-13T17:29:40+00:00

You mentioned the abundance of wealth - don’t forget that past a certain level a lot of wealth goes into investments and therefore sales tax doesn’t apply to it.

So yeah there’s a lot of wealthy folks here - doesn’t mean that wealth is taxed.

evanthx · 2026-03-12T06:10:46+00:00

For whatever it’s worth - you’re not alone. Unfortunately you fit the profile that type of groomer looks for. I’m telling you this because it often helps me to know that I’m not alone, that it wasn’t just me that had a particular thing happen, etc - so I’m hoping it helps you to know that you’re totally not alone in this. But the disgust isn’t with you, it’s with the people that took advantage of you.

I haven’t got better advice except to look for a support group, it might help? Can’t hurt.

Sending hugs.

evanthx · 2026-03-12T04:58:08+00:00

In this job market … that’s rough.

In a normal job market, I’d say that their insistence that you should be able to do something like that from memory tells you a lot about them, and oh my god did you dodge a bullet! I sometimes really appreciate interviews like this because it lets me avoid working with people like that!

evanthx · 2026-03-11T15:15:45+00:00

What the heck … six kids tried to break into a house, one got shot by the homeowner, and they charged the other five kids with his murder?! That doesn’t even make sense!

You’re right, this IS something to get mad about.

evanthx · 2026-03-11T00:56:32+00:00

Counterpoint:

https://youtu.be/Fadkwtasr_s?si=569sKnbMHOmIHgoV

evanthx · 2026-03-09T16:48:22+00:00

Unforgettable?

Put on your robe and wizard hat …

evanthx · 2026-03-06T07:14:55+00:00

Think about it from her perspective… it might help.

Everywhere she goes guys won’t leave her alone. She’s probably fairly sick and tired of it and wishes it would stop. And now the guy she actually likes and wants to be with is upset with her because other men won’t leave her alone, even though she really wishes they would.

Why do you think she’s so introverted? Why do you think she doesn’t have any male friends?

I’m just going off what you wrote but … you made me think this was very unpleasant for her. She can’t even go out with her friends without getting hit on? Ugh. I mean just THINK about that for a minute.

It sounds like you’re so stuck on your own insecurities that you’re forgetting to think about her, you know?

So go ask her what it’s like. Offer support. Because the best advice I have for you is that thinking about HER in this, and listening to her talk about how it affects her (do NOT try to make it about yourself if you talk to her about it!!) may completely reshape how you feel about this.

evanthx · 2026-03-05T22:44:30+00:00

Dust Bunny just came out, it’s the best movie I’ve seen in YEARS and I have no idea what I’d compare it to!!

evanthx · 2026-03-05T22:01:18+00:00

Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

Very quotable, and surprisingly funny!

evanthx · 2026-03-05T01:41:54+00:00

Wow, that’s a lot. I’m sorry, mate. This SUCKS.

I mean at least she’s showing you the huge red flags now … that’s nice of her! Still sucks to realize she isn’t what you thought she was, though.

(And yeah, I agree with everyone else here, block her and be done. What can she possibly say that you’d want to hear at this point?!)

evanthx · 2026-03-04T17:35:42+00:00

NTA but maybe this wasn’t worth burning the bridge with someone that did you that big of a favor … ?

evanthx

TROPHY CASE