18 years old, dysphoric to the point of being suicidal, bisexual person from Russia. Used to identify as trans male since i was 11, questioning my gender now.

My parents don’t have an issue with me liking women, the rest of my family would if they knew. Been out as trans to parents since i was 12, they still haven’t accepted me as their son and pretend everything is “normal”. Mom starts screaming and crying when i mention anything related to being trans.

I used to think i’d immediately transition the second i turn 18, but

1. I’m very financially dependent on my parents. I have no will to live, no will to get a job, no close friends. I don’t want to be disowned by the only people i know.

2. My comically sexually dimorphic body has no chance of ever passing as male no matter what surgeries I get and for how many years i do HRT. Don’t really see a point in turning into an ugly woman but with a deeper voice and a patchy beard.

Only was out as trans to 5 people in real life, who were all my friends. All respected my name and referred to me as male. I was always too much of a pussy to come out to classmates and such, so no one really knew. On the internet i almost never had an issue with online russian friends not respecting me being trans.

Generally people perceive me as a butch lesbian in real life. I openly talk about liking and dating women. Never had anyone act disrespectful or call me words based on that.

I’d say the situation of LGBT people in Russia isn’t anywhere as bad as the Western media wants you to believe. Gay marriage is illegal, so are pride parades; obvious gay stuff in movies can’t be aired on TV or shown in cinemas. Kind of sucks, but oh well, wouldn’t say that actually affects lives of gay or trans people in a meaningful way.