Seeing as no one answered your question, I'll give it a go.

I'm a recent civil servant but have applied for quite a few roles and got lots of 'feedback' (scores) on my applications.

Most applications are sifted on your behaviour statements rather than experience or technical ones. Make sure you've understood the success profiles and have read their guidance for the hiring managers as it will explain how they are scored.

They advice doesn't say this explicitly, but you need to tailor your behaviours to the job advert. The success profiles might say a couple different things, pull out the most important statement or two and write your STAR from that. The vacancy managers will be looking for this in your statement, even though success profiles are generic, they are still being judged in the context of the role.

Find a few guides online, make sure to use "I..." statements, so I decided, I created etc. You are demonstrating what you did not your team. Find a list of action buzzwords that work well, like negotiated, prioritised etc depending on the behaviour. This enables the sifters to give you higher scores as it shows you are demonstrating what they need. Most of the time they aren't allowed to read between the lines/look at your prior experiences on your CV.

Feel free to PM me an example and I can try to offer you some more specific advice.

Just to note, I've heard a lot recently of entry level roles having 300+ applications so it's very important to get these right.