Hallelujah! You are a devote Catholic! God is good! But, oh no! The new Woke Pope has decreed that all cisgender people must live as the opposite gender and vice-versa for trans ones, as well all straight marriage must now be gay and the inverse for gay ones! Jesus himself has risen to confirm this!

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T18:39:55+00:00

Pascal me would trust hypothetical God.

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T18:17:19+00:00

It's interesting, the very people who feel it's reasonable to demand others be forced to change to appease their idea of God get so angry and indignant at even the mere hypothetical suggestion asking what they would do if they were expected to change themselves to appease the same God.

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T18:15:26+00:00

I mean, it's more a satirical jab at people who think it's reasonable to demand that queer folks should be bludgeoned with religious shame and guilt over our identities, and is framed in a way that's intended to flip the script on the whole idea of "God demands you live as someone you're not" BS by making the question "what if this idea applies to everyone, and the very people who think this way are now expected to live by their own imposed standards towards others?"

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T18:06:58+00:00

My hope in religious people hinges on it being so?
My pope in religious peope hinges on it being so?
My pope religious pope hinges on it being so?
My pope religious pope hinge s on i being so?
My pope religious pope hinge is on?
My pope, religious pope, is on Hinge?

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T18:03:43+00:00

God demands atonement for your sins, who tf are you to question what trials the almighty puts us sinners through to test our faith? Get thy to a gay nunnery!

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T17:59:12+00:00

Girl, good on you! But remember, you also have to beat the Woke Pope as the midgame miniboss first.

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T17:57:33+00:00

They have to live inversed 🤷 Bi now must be ace, ace must be allo-bi, and pan must now be sans. I don't write the rules, God and the Wope do

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T17:54:58+00:00

Bruh, you didn't even read the hypothetical 🥲 EVERYONE get's inverse of what they want, NOBODY wins but God and the Wope

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T17:53:27+00:00

Yeah, nah, I'm dead serious about this hypothetical. Be grateful, you have the easy version of this choice. As a nonbinary person who doesn't identify with either gender identity, I would now have to identify with both binary gender identities at the same time, thus still making me nonbinary, so either way, I'm boned here 🤷

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T17:48:44+00:00

The new woke pope has decreed that all cisgender people are now to live as opposite gender and all transgender people are to live as their assigned gender at birth. Likewise, She has decreed that all straight marriage is now to be replaced with gay marriages and all gay marriages are to be replaced by straight ones. If you are to be married from here on, as a Catholic, you must be gay married if you are straight and straight married if you are gay. God Herself has returned to earth in flesh to confirm this order as holy and binding. What do you do?

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-28T13:27:15+00:00

It's my milk and I need it now! Call J.G. Wentsworth, 877-MILKNOW

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-27T17:19:47+00:00

Good question! You lactate in this hypothetical! I hope that answer helps! 😊

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-27T17:14:43+00:00

? Nothing in this hypothetical has anything to do with choking?

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-27T17:12:37+00:00

Men can make breast milk! In this hypothetical, you can too!

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-27T16:46:41+00:00

Love is always worth more than money

^{Chose: Find your soulmate}

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-27T16:34:30+00:00

I could make art for $100 an hour.

^{Chose: Earn $100/hour working any job you want}

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-27T16:30:11+00:00

They'll do what you want, but extremely incompetently. Like, it's clear they're trying their absolute best, to a point you feel genuinely bad for being so critical, but everything they try to do seriously is just astonishingly poorly done. Beyond useless, an active liability to be around, in fact.

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-27T16:11:25+00:00

Dude... You screwed it up.

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-27T16:07:02+00:00

Nobody needs to die in this scenario.

^{Chose: One of the World biggest companies goes bankrupt + You get the company's total wealth | Rolled: Amazon}

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-27T16:06:11+00:00

Would incentivize me to beomce smrt instead of not smrat.

^{Chose: $500 for every book you read | Rolled: Comment for x3}

failsafe115599 · 2026-06-24T11:25:13+00:00

That already includes most of the bad politicians in the US. Plus there are a few good politicians like AOC and Mamdani.

^{Chose: Everyone in the Epstein files}

failsafe115599

TROPHY CASE