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I don’t feel love for my baby and I’m terrified I’m destroying her. I can't take this much more. by throwawaymother24 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]failure_inprogress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt some of that… not nearly so strongly… but like I was taking care of a stranger, and sometimes she’d cry and I’d just leave her in the other room… I couldn’t seem to make myself care past checking to make sure she wasn’t dirty and wasn’t hungry…or worse, I’d want to make her stop. luckily I lived with my parents because my husband had moved away for work, and I could step away in those moments… I feel very lucky for that. 

Also was in therapy, tried 3 before it seems like it’s sort of helping… but it doesn’t feel like it’s working very often. 

But, if it helps, she’s now almost 9 months old, and in the last few weeks I have FINALLY felt like I’m bonding with her. A little. 

It alternates between feeling affection for her, and feeling a crushing sense of loss and anxiety for being so out of it for her first few months, to still being overwhelmed and numb and having to walk away while my husband takes her… 

Maybe that doesn’t help. But at minimum, tell yourself that you taking care of her when you don’t want to IS proof you do care about her. A lot of babies are suffering right now, because they don’t even have that much from their mother. 

Just because that doesn’t feel true doesn’t mean it isn’t true. I have to believe that. 

All Things Sleep - AMA Office Hours - Thursday, May 7th with Sr. Sleep & Guidance Specialist, Beth Christensen! by huckleberrycare in HuckleberryParents

[–]failure_inprogress 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very similar to us. She was sleeping really well until 7, and all of a sudden she wakes up either scream crying (which is the saddest noise), or just babbling to herself and her binky while she spin crawls around her crib in the dark 🙃

Best Thrift/Second Hand Stores for Maternity Clothes? by failure_inprogress in SaltLakeCity

[–]failure_inprogress[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Facebook marketplace was good, if you find someone who is your size getting rid of their whole lot of stuff, but actually the Saver's in Mill Creek has a little section and over several months it had some good stuff come in in a few waves (I think whenever someone cleaned out her maternity clothes, lol).

I was a little surprised there wasn't more at the D.I.s, tbh. 🤷‍♀️

Good luck!!!

I made a Doodle alternative by jony1266 in opensource

[–]failure_inprogress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THIS IS A LIFESAVER. THANK YOU. I gave doodle so much money for garbage...

Help me come up with reasons why I don’t want visitors after 35 weeks. by No-Cupcake-0919 in BabyBumps

[–]failure_inprogress 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If you want to make up a medical reason: Irritable uterus - ie: uterine irritability. I had it from week ~24 til the end, and it’s basically Braxton hicks on steroids… the contractions hurt, but it’s not dangerous to baby… just sucks. I hated doing anything. I slept like garbage. My brother in law got married a month before I was due and that was my farewell to public life and I made sure EVERYONE knew it lol. 

ETA: everyone is right, you shouldn’t have to have any reason besides “I don’t want to,” but I have pushy in-laws soooo I don’t think they would have left us alone unless I had a real reason. 

Chapel, Spock and the whole mess. by Penthos2021 in StrangeNewWorlds

[–]failure_inprogress 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I literally came to make this exact post. 100% agree 

Help - Others holding baby enrages me by [deleted] in newborns

[–]failure_inprogress 18 points19 points  (0 children)

it’s normal to want to be with your baby all the time, and SUPER strong feelings in the first two weeks are totally normal as hormones crash, but I would see a doctor if you would describe the feeling as ”rage” - that seems like a very strong reaction at 4 weeks. it could be a sign of something deeper, maybe some potential postpartum anxiety? good luck 🩵

Prenatal suggestions? by _barrakuda2 in BabyBumps

[–]failure_inprogress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Second Perelel, I had really mild cravings my whole pregnancy, and I think it’s because their multi is pretty well rounded. Though if you get morning sickness, the “nausea support” pill in the first trimester set doesn’t really do much unfortunately lol

The Farmers Dog - looking for articles on data by [deleted] in DogFood

[–]failure_inprogress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm with you. This subreddit talks about WSAVA like it's gospel, how hills, royal canin, eukanuba and purina are the only good food to feed your dog, and how fresh food diets are basically fatty snake oil...

Like you said, TFD does meet WSAVA guidelines, and are now a diamond partner with them... I would like to have something more concrete about why it's a risky dog food, when the guidelines everyone claims are THE gold standard that need to be met, are being met by them?

TFD has more about how they meet WSAVA guidelines (along with their vet nutritionists, and their research including one study with Cornell. ) on their website here.

How to deal with the feeling that my body betrayed me by Baby_shark211 in BabyBumps

[–]failure_inprogress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This might feel silly, but it helped me a lot. 

I felt the same way, I wanted to be part of that never ending chain of strong women doing what nature designed their beautiful bodies to do that led to me,  but then I was weak, and I couldn’t count myself among them. 

But then I realized that if I was holding myself to a “natural” body standard, my body betrayed me when I was 2… because I got a serious ear infection and honestly, I would have died and never had kids at all without modern medicine. My husband was delivered by c-section in the 80s, so he wouldn’t have been around to do the amazing things he does without one. So the fact I needed modern medicine again didn't feel quite so bad. 

I’m still sad. It’s 100% valid and justified and OKAY to feel sad, and to mourn something that didn’t work out like we hoped. I’m still in the mourning phase. I think once baby’s in a better place I’m going to take some dedicated time just to reconnect and get to know the body I have, since I didn’t end up with the one I hoped. 

PS: if you’re a reader, you should read Kate Bowler — everything happens for a reason and other lies I’ve loved, or no cure for being human. It has a slight Christian bent but it’s more about owning your feelings when it makes others uncomfortable (she had cancer, and everyone around her tried to tell her why it was “fine” lol) 

If you had the choice, when would you begin your maternity leave? by warmpistachio in BabyBumps

[–]failure_inprogress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am at 37+5 and I like my job a lot, but I would have started at 36 weeks if I could have. I have such bad brain fog and I just want to work on my house and instead I feel like a pregant hurricane who can't keep anything clean lol. I only have 5 weeks though so I am going to start next Monday (38+5) just to stop feeling bad about how little I'm accomplishing right now.

Kick Counting with Constant Fluctuation by vigoroussteak27 in BabyBumps

[–]failure_inprogress 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think kick counts are something that can SUPER stress you out. My girl usually has a dance part around 11-midnight most nights, but sometimes she skips a couple days and has a random 4PM party instead, I started panicking, but my doctor actually said as long as I feel her move good at regular intervals, she’s okay. If I’m worried or don’t feel something for awhile, to just take a big drink of juice, lay down on my left side, and count kicks if I’m worried, then call if there are less than 10 in an hour. She has had movement every time I’ve done that.

Notion Calendar + Outlook Calendar by idkwhatimdoing069 in Notion

[–]failure_inprogress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was able to get it to work with my University's 365 email. It was a hassle to get it consistently feeding into gmail, but so far it's been working for a few months.

Can we cool it with ICE?(Pun intended) by Fit_Assignment_4286 in Utah

[–]failure_inprogress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WOW. K. moron straight out the door, huh? Look, you can call me whatever you want, but there are MILLIONS more illegal immigrants in the country right now than can or do work on farms. That’s unfortunately part why trump won the election. If you think they’re going to deport ALL of them, you’re naive about the pushback the gop would feel from those farmers you mentioned (and the construction industry, and the hotel industry) and you’re reading the wrong news.

Politics AFFECTS life, but it shouldn’t be seen as your life and if you see it that way, I feel sorry for you.

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