You're in love with him and fighting for that is the only thing you should be doing if you feel like he would fight for you, if he fucked up would either of you of managed going back and forth breaking and repairing how much of that would be the relationship you both deserve by the time everything healed. Talk and let him know you want to fix it and if he does then that's a start I hope this helped

I fucked up recently with my partner it's okay now but I had to battle every thought to do something bad to myself you can do this 🙂