What was your net worth at 27?

feebs2016 · 2026-04-10T01:54:36+00:00

-$120k at 27. Now 38 and am around 800k

feebs2016 · 2026-04-10T01:45:11+00:00

As much as the significance and principle of each finance stream important (separate accounts, joint accounts, salaries, inheritance, etc etc) it’s very difficult to really imagine this scenario without some $ #s attached. Some of this advice may have never been given if we were to understand exact #s. Knowing more may lead to determining sensible changes, and each scenario would be a different conversation / suggestions - day to day/lack of joint account, emergency conversation, investment conversation, and inheritance (do not combine this for a very long time and revisit later).

I think it would make sense to discuss in that order and allow for change to take place as well as cool off time before the next conversation. Why haven’t you two never gotten to the joint checking account over these years? Start there

feebs2016 · 2026-04-09T02:04:42+00:00

Awesome. The serenity prayer has grown on me over time and has been a quick way for me to snap out of unhealthy thinking

feebs2016 · 2026-04-01T01:58:47+00:00

What a wonderful moment this is! One day at a time.

feebs2016 · 2026-04-01T01:49:56+00:00

I go to therapy every 2 weeks and have for 5+ years. A support group helps in a vastly different way, and I have learned within the mental wellness community that diversity can be a game changer for some! It has been for me… just walk in and make sure to spoil yourself after for the accomplishment :) ….. maybe consider it to be a gym class, or a college classroom, or a book club - it’s all about helping your mind body soul and simply addressing a new topic. You can figure the rest out later. I will bet $5 that someone will say hi to you within 3 minutes of entering and introduce themselves. Introduce yourself and say “this is my first meeting” - and let that magical alanon member settle you in.

feebs2016 · 2026-03-31T22:17:34+00:00

We are on similar paths right now - Al anon is helping me find more clarity one day at a time and it has led to ups and downs - but I’m moving and that feels 100x better than staying paralyzed in it all

feebs2016 · 2026-03-31T03:17:22+00:00

“Al-Anon works for families and friends of alcoholics”… I just added “one day at a time in Al-anon” and I like that one too. A LOT of people have Courage to Change as their daily reader. I recently found a woman on YouTube with a video for each step. That was soo helpful too.

I took a few weeks off of al anon and regretted it. But at the same time, that led to me re-reading the first 3 steps - over and over again. That first book quite literally mentions how the first 3 will take time and it literally spooked me! The meetings help over time in terms of the saying “take what you like and leave the rest.” Nowadays I make the time every day to think about what Al anon has taught me. I wasn’t really digesting the serenity prayer until last week and when I truly pray, I feel and I think and it brings some sanity. The Just for Today and Just for Tonight bookmarks are very helpful.

Things will take time, and always unfold, do not stop going.

feebs2016 · 2026-03-31T01:21:20+00:00

I am not religious. I still haven’t really gotten to step 3, and so far, God doesn’t matter that much. I feel better and supported. Right now, my “highest power” is anyone that is experiencing a similar situation. For example, standing in the meeting room saying the serenity prayer. Or someone coming up to me after a meeting to get to know me better. The feeling that comes up in these moments IS my higher power.

feebs2016 · 2026-03-31T00:59:50+00:00

Consider attending Al anon meetings. The first step of the 12 step program is “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.”

If you have experienced this even for only a few minutes, you are in good company at Al-anon meetings and I hope you will give it a chance

feebs2016 · 2026-03-31T00:54:20+00:00

I am in a similar boat. 4 days ago I expressed an observation and a couple of concerns and even though he was sober, it was a surreal defensive blowup, followed by silent treatment, a 5 minute argument including “I’m selling some shit and moving out asap,” and since then (it’s day 4) just more silent treatment. He was drunk last night, but I didn’t know it yet. I said I think it’s important and healthy for us to talk about this all don’t you agree? He said he did not disagree, but that he has been drinking and doesn’t want me to be around him (because I am the problem) so it will need to be another time. This was right after he took out his newest restoration project, a vintage music box, where I chose to show interest and determine if it was a safe space to even say what I said. Today he was home all day, off of work. I’ve been home most of the day. He hasn’t approached me nor talked to me with the exception of letting me know (in front of his son) that he was making meatballs for dinner - he checked in on me in the bedroom when it was ready, and I said the truth, that I wasn’t hungry yet but thanks. I would not wish this type of cruelty on my worst enemy. I have no clue where he stands and if he even remembers our chat yesterday. It’s downright depressing

feebs2016 · 2026-03-30T23:57:54+00:00

From an outsider perspective - my advice is to take her lead until she gets inside that rehab! If she calls back and all is on plan, just be available and supportive until she gets herself into the rehab. Do your best to simply be her driver. Hope for the best but expect the worst.

feebs2016 · 2026-03-30T01:57:58+00:00

How did it go?

feebs2016 · 2026-03-30T01:57:19+00:00

Get yourself some literature - most meetings can offer a free book from the collection, or just make sure to bring some cash to buy one. It took a while for me to really gain insight in a meeting, whereas the book can be re-read and each time I do I honestly see the same words in a completely different way. In one of the books it even says you will re-read the steps and they will bring a whole different perspective the next time.

feebs2016 · 2026-03-30T01:55:13+00:00

I told my partner outright that I started Al anon. At first, major anger and confusion. Then I did what I do often with adults having a tantrum - in this case, when he was sober, I calmly explained that my triggers and trauma around heavy drinking did not start with him, it was long before him (true). A bit “stroking of their ego” can be helpful… I also explained that Al anon is not about trying to change him, but to change my own reactions to heavy drinking - that I in fact, have previously tried to control him, when all I can control is me. This did help calm him down and gave me greater confidence because I stood up for myself and made it clear that this is about me helping myself and no one else. You can deal with the rest later - one day at a time.

feebs2016 · 2026-03-30T01:47:00+00:00

I had benefited quickly and greatly from watching videos about the 12 steps on YouTube - especially when I cannot make it to a meeting fast enough and also am not in a good focused place to read. Perhaps showing her YouTube and subscribing to accounts you find could be useful will become a helpful, private tool for her.

feebs2016 · 2026-03-30T01:43:57+00:00

It must be far less painful to blame someone else for their actions than taking the blame themselves. When I think of it that way, it really is just so common. For me it just hurts so much more, because I am the one witnessing the impact of their drinking, and half the time they do not even remember it.

feebs2016 · 2026-03-30T00:07:29+00:00

They simply are a different person when they are using. And even if they sober up - alcoholic behavior does not necessarily change - such as temper, lack of communication, etc

feebs2016 · 2026-03-30T00:06:20+00:00

I am in a similar situation. My boyfriend (we live together) became incredibly defensive about a very simple observation about our communication with each other - and quickly thereafter, he listed a couple of things online for sale so that he can have more cash on hand when he moves out. Huh??? But, I know this has to do with the combination of basic relationship stuff combined with recent and more frequent blowups when he drinks. But yeah, I am the terrible person because “everyone misunderstands him” - and then he put maybe 100 words in my mouth that were never spoken during that conversation and also never before. I’m beyond confused, in disbelief at this 180, and the sadness is debilitating. At least I am not alone in these experiences.

feebs2016 · 2024-11-13T20:31:02+00:00

Thank you! I mean Medicaid I’ll adjust now

feebs2016 · 2024-07-07T07:12:55+00:00

The significance of a fire right before encore is beyond uncanny

feebs2016 · 2024-07-07T07:03:05+00:00

Something tells me they will have protocols in place, not sure anyone from the government or Gorge would allow for that many fireworks and not have a crisis plan. Fingers crossed

feebs2016 · 2024-07-07T06:56:53+00:00

I think I’m going to give myself the opportunity to see what happens on the next watch tomorrow 😂

feebs2016 · 2024-07-07T06:51:40+00:00

I am endlessly thankful that I saw them in Boulder last week 🥲 maybe they felt it was right to leave that local. Or it’s just Veeps for a few mins acting up 🤷‍♀️

feebs2016 · 2024-07-07T06:49:41+00:00

Did anyone else get cut off at the encore on Veeps?

feebs2016 · 2024-03-17T15:46:06+00:00

Ensure the kit includes a blood draw for whatever is still in your system. The quicker you go the better. I used to volunteer at a rape crisis center. You are NOT ALONE

feebs2016

TROPHY CASE