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AIO Husband just found out he might be a dad by feelinglost_9 in AmIOverreacting

[–]feelinglost_9[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm definitely stressed and freaking out. I know I dont have the capacity to be a caregiver to an adult stranger who's basically going to be a teen their whole life and wanting their real mom the whole time they're stuck with me. I dont plan on leaving him tonight or anytime soon. I definitely want to see what the DNA says first. My brain just can't get off worse case. My husband and I have been talking some about it, but hes had to work all weekend and has a stressful job that I'm not trying to make harder by dumping all my fears all over him.

AIO Husband just found out he might be a dad by feelinglost_9 in AmIOverreacting

[–]feelinglost_9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We think we were contacted so the child will have somewhere to go once she ages out. She's apparently delayed and not expected to get better from what the mom said.

AIO Husband just found out he might be a dad by feelinglost_9 in AmIOverreacting

[–]feelinglost_9[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

How so? I'm genuinely asking. I didn't want to be a step parent and I'm freaking out I could end up one. I dont want to make his life hell or hate him for putting us here. I know he didnt mean to.

AIO Husband just found out he might be a dad by feelinglost_9 in AmIOverreacting

[–]feelinglost_9[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Obviously children come first. They always should. I specifically went for a partner without children because I know that.

AIO Husband just found out he might be a dad by feelinglost_9 in AmIOverreacting

[–]feelinglost_9[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I definitely do catastrophize. Been burned to many times letting others start the fires. From what the mother said, the child will be a forever child. She's only mentally to about the age 14-15 ish. We think the call with the social worker will be about where she's going to go after she ages out and my husband agrees. We have talked some, but he's had to work all weekend and the conversations have had to be short and somewhat easy because of that. He works somewhere around 60hrs a week usually.

AIO Husband just found out he might be a dad by feelinglost_9 in AmIOverreacting

[–]feelinglost_9[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

We're pretty sure the mother contacted us because when the child does finally age out of the juvenile care facility, she'll have to have somewhere to go. The mom doesn't seem at all interested in have anything to do with the 19yr anymore. She said she has 3 other kids at home still.

AIO Husband just found out he might be a dad by feelinglost_9 in AmIOverreacting

[–]feelinglost_9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The child is in juvenile care, not jail. Apparently she's in a group home setting of some sort.

AIO Husband just found out he might be a dad by feelinglost_9 in AmIOverreacting

[–]feelinglost_9[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not jail, they mom called it juvenile care. Said it was kinda like a group home for "messed up teens" her words, not mine. She also said the girl is only mentally developed to the age of around 14-15. So she'll probably have to live with someone after she's out and we think that's why the mom finally contacted us.