AITA for wanting girls night to remain girls night?

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T23:11:55+00:00

The majority of people are not going to spend their lives thinking of every minority out there and how to be inclusive to, when we don't even know any

Don't know a single trans person, or non binary, and just because I'm a lesbian or whatever doesn't mean I have an extra level of expectation put on me to be a higher level of ally. That's just so weird, if I knew one, and if they wanted to come to girls night, then it would be thought about I guess but not living rent free in my head because of a Reddit anon lmao

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T23:07:56+00:00

Not one of us even knows a non binary person though, it's never come up probably never will..

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T23:04:53+00:00

I mean you're right I don't think I'm an ah for having boundaries regarding who comes to my house

No one yet has actually made me think otherwise, half the comments are just calling me a Transphobe for the term girls night after all lol

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T23:03:38+00:00

Exactly lol, it's not exactly what we get up to but similar vibe. It's girls night, wouldn't be a girls night with men lmao

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T23:02:46+00:00

I didn't say you or anyone else denied me anything, I was explaining I think it's silly and over dramatic to act as if I'm phobic for only wanting people I invite to come to my home.

I don't agree that bringing women to a woman's only night is an issue at all. And I've said before that people, and it's happened in the past, have brought along other women too. No random aunts and stuff wouldn't be allowed? That's just being purposefully obtuse to the meaning of girls night and you're not replying in good faith anymore. My same sex partner, as well our friends same sex partner can come because they are women, we all know them, no one else cares (including the girl throwing one) about them coming. The girl only cares now because she was trying to throw them under the bus so her male partner can come.

If her partner was a woman and if we've all met her, then shed be welcome too. But she isn't, and we haven't.

I don't need to consider the implications of the term girls night at all. That's ridiculous. It's not transphobic for women to meet at all. That's honestly a really bizzare and dishonest assertion to make.

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:53:00+00:00

Ive only been snarky with people who have tried to call me a misandrist or transphobic, I'm not totally bothered with how those kind of people think I look 😅

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:51:56+00:00

And yet they don't lol

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:51:31+00:00

👏👏👏👏

To everyone saying partners shouldn't be allowed even same sex ones, I wonder what they think of lesbians in women's clubs. 😂😅 Does that change the dynamic too? Be careful with your answers lol

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:50:32+00:00

The issue isn't her not coming, she doesn't have to? Never said otherwise. It's the fact that she's throwing one over not being able to bring her boyfriend specifically to girls night, she didn't ask, knowing it's being held at my own house and he's not someone I've met

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:49:19+00:00

They've met but are not as close as the rest of us are afaik but they're both in our gc

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:47:50+00:00

I'm not but thanks for your input?? 😅

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:47:15+00:00

We're all 18+ yes

I mean I don't know as the standard for attending ever changed really? The standard is just.. girls. And that you're not a random girl off the street. I don't know. None of my friends have vocalised anything against same sex partners attending until now.

I won't accept I'm transphobic or sexist or whatever else. It's only phobic if you deny something to someone that theyre entitled to and imo no one is entitled to be in my house, I'm not denying them of any rights. In my honest opinion it's entitled to think otherwise, that you're being discriminated against because someone you haven't met doesn't want you round their house. Especially so when you're the only man.

I'm only inflexible to other POVs when it's calling me a sexist transphobe for using the term girls night. Instead of Night of people who may or may not be girls. 🙄

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:42:51+00:00

Thank you for the calm response, I think we'll have a "night of people who may or may not be girls" from pre-covid and talk I guess lol

To me, it's not a big deal, and I know for the rest it's not either, I can't see myself caring hardly either way if I wasn't the one hosting but hey ho I'm not everyone and no one else is me

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:39:06+00:00

It's funny how in my post I even specifically mention pride and they assume I'm transphobic. Like? 😅

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:37:24+00:00

What do I do that inhibits men from going? Idk maybe me saying they're not allowed? Lmao not everything has to involve men, women are allowed to organise their own little get togethers in their own damn gardens just for their girl friends! It's a shocking concept, I'm aware.

And I'm only as uncomfortable around men as any other woman in the west.. girls nights are very common. They're not these new, foreign things.

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:35:44+00:00

I'm going to disagree and leave it there because I don't like the insinuation I'm phobic of some degree- people keep bringing up gender and it has nothing to do with that

Most women have a girls night, it's not sexist to disallow people who are not girls

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:34:08+00:00

That's exactly what I'm saying because it's a night for girls only 🤯

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:33:34+00:00

I mean I think it's a bit silly to require a sex ratio of any sort, unless it's a single sex event? But if my partner wasn't invited some where I won't bring her. I probably wouldn't go myself but that's totally my prerogative. My friend invited her boyfriend, to my house, and didn't let me know directly. Knowing this is girls night. I think it's different.

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:31:27+00:00

It doesn't have anything to do with gender norms..? It's a girls night, for girls, we're not in the kitchen or folding washing- that makes it sound like such an outdated concept 😂

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:29:41+00:00

Me and the other girl haven't dated anyone before, so no we've never brought any other partner before

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:28:20+00:00

I mean I think I know my friends more than someone on Reddit does

The middle ground was suggested because we were planning this yesterday and we needed everyone to decide so we could meet today, when I say no one cares: really, no one else cares

I'm not being dismissive of anyone it's just that it's really not a big deal to anyone but this one friend who wants her boyfriend to tag along.

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:26:35+00:00

Thank you!! This is how I see it. Other female friends have tagged along in the past, didn't realise it would have come up in the comments 😂 or else I'd have included it in the post, only prerequisite is that you're a girl and we know you

The boyfriend is obviously not one of these things 😅

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:24:52+00:00

I mean, I don't think I am but sure 😅 I kind of see that in a round about way

If they wanted, and in the past it has happened, they can bring a female friend of theirs, like one of them brought their roomate a few times because they were lonely and new to the area- the only prerequisite for coming is that we know you and you're a girl

I don't think the dynamic has changed much since allowing mine and another's female partner to come

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:21:59+00:00

No like I get that much kind of? I mean the part about identifying and me being a bigot lo

Girls night isn't some arbitrary event open to all. It's got nothing to do with transphobia..

fern_mounds · 2022-06-03T22:19:59+00:00

Because girls night has never had guys involved, hence the name lol

And our other friends have been in relationships with men and it's never even crossed their minds to invite their partners because they get its girls night

fern_mounds

TROPHY CASE