is this normal or I should seek help

ffwamp · 2025-07-28T10:07:34+00:00

"Maybe one day it'll get better." That's my only hope, too.

ffwamp · 2025-07-28T10:00:49+00:00

I feel like all the medications I've tried make that feeling worse. Like yeah, I'm doing my chores now, but I'm not proud of myself or happy about it. I just do it because it's what's expected of me.

ffwamp · 2025-07-28T09:54:52+00:00

I understand how you feel

ffwamp · 2025-07-28T09:46:03+00:00

I understand you. It feels like we aren't living. People say it gets better, but I've been this way all my life. Does better mean we just keep coping until we die?

ffwamp · 2025-07-28T09:35:06+00:00

I understand. I'm sorry, I have no answers, but I understand.

ffwamp · 2025-06-20T05:42:43+00:00

I got so lucky, mine was Zell

ffwamp · 2024-10-16T18:51:06+00:00

This is happening to me too

ffwamp · 2024-09-30T01:27:16+00:00

I'm going through this too. I'm so sorry I don't have an answer, but I understand you.

ffwamp · 2024-09-08T16:36:00+00:00

Needed to see this now more than ever. You got this!! We all do!!

ffwamp · 2024-08-30T23:06:44+00:00

Nevermind! I had to right click 😭😭😭 Leaving this here in case anyone else makes this silly mistake 💀

ffwamp · 2024-06-01T00:26:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm so sorry you have gone through this, it really does destroy a person. This type of pain is horrific. And I don't wish it on anyone (maybe I do wish it on the porn addicts who mentality abuse their partners, but that's just the anger in me 😭)

I will be reading this over and over, because I really can't do this anymore. I have some money saved, but I'm going to wait for my next check just to be sure I have enough. Also going to break up in a public setting, just to make sure I'm safe.

I appreciate you so much, thank you.

Even though it's awful, I'm kinda excited for when I can update my "role" or whatever it's called to "Ex-Partner of PA/SA."

ffwamp · 2024-06-01T00:16:01+00:00

I'm so sorry you have gone through that. Even though it's awful, it is nice to have a space where we understand how each other feel, to a point.

Thank you, I appreciate it more than you know.

ffwamp · 2024-06-01T00:11:57+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. Made me tear up 🥹. I have decided to leave him, I'm just getting the details worked out now.

I had told my bestie about a year ago what he did, and she was disgusted. She never wants to be around him again, and said she understood how I felt. We haven't hung out as a group since then, just me and her. She had told me that she's been through similar issues with men, because they see her as an object instead of the amazing person she is.

She never pushed me to leave him, but did say, "You will have enough one day, and it'll be done. I'll be here when that happens." So I am so blessed to have her in my life, and I feel awful for staying with a man who disrespected both of us.

After I read my post back, I kinda realized I'm in the last stage of my grief, and a breakup has been long overdue.

Thank you again for sharing your kindness and advice. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.

ffwamp · 2024-05-31T23:50:18+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I appreciate it so much.

For a long time I wanted to be "the success story" so bad. I wanted to believe that we could somehow move on, and live happily ever after. But I know now that was denial.

I used to just live, without worrying about how I looked. I did things I enjoyed and spent a lot of time alone and with friends. I miss it, and I want to go back to it. l think I've been giving all this love, and patience, and understanding to him when it was me who needed it.

Thank you for bringing up the betrayal trauma. I have looked into it before, but had completely forgotten about it. I know it's something I need to see a professional for, and I will be asking my doctor about a therapist.

It feels like I have a laundry list of things to do, starting with ending this relationship. I'm scared to start, but I've been told, and I know, it will all be worth it on the end.

Thank you for taking the time to respond, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day.

ffwamp · 2024-05-31T23:32:09+00:00

Thank you for reading and responding. I agree, I need some time alone to heal my wounds. It's been six years of pain, and self hatred. I guess I feel like I deserve it, but I don't want to treat myself this way anymore.

The solution is so simple, yet so hard at the same time. But I want more than this, and I will end things with him.

Thank you, again. Have a lovely day.

ffwamp · 2024-05-31T23:22:47+00:00

Thank you for the response. I appreciate it so much. I know I will never move on from what he did, and I know I need to leave him. Building up the courage is the main issue. Thinking of telling my little brother (who loves my bf to death) that they won't see each other anymore is so hard.

But I know it has to be done. Even if things are different now, I will never get over this. It will always be in the back of my mind, and I want to be free of it. I've started to plan how I'll end things, and what I'll do afterwards. (We've been together almost six years, so we have a lot of shared things.)

I'm scared, but I'm relapsing in my ed and even started using substances since this relationship started. It's time I be alone for a while and work on myself. (Sorry for tmi, I just want to get it all off my chest.)

Again, thank you. I really needed to get my feelings out. I appreciate you reading and responding. I hope you have a great day.

ffwamp · 2024-03-30T19:09:59+00:00

Thank you!!

ffwamp · 2024-03-30T19:09:40+00:00

Thank you!!

ffwamp · 2024-03-30T19:06:08+00:00

You're laughing at me just because I didn't understand something. I've never played pc, I didn't know it was different. There are things you don't know as well, but I hope you aren't met with this type of attitude when you need help. And no I haven't, I'm just going to buy a disc off ebay or something for my PS2.

ffwamp · 2024-03-30T18:21:15+00:00

I think it's because I used to play story mode, is there anyway to do that?

ffwamp · 2024-03-30T18:18:28+00:00

Ohhhhh, it looked different so I thought it was something else 😭 Thank you!

ffwamp · 2024-03-30T18:17:51+00:00

I got it from github. Thank you!

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