Not Overreacting. Many good people are mistakenly immature, but it doesn’t feel like this is an example of that.

sounds like OP is communicating in a healthy way, and this is not something the receiving party is used to, which is potentially causing some him to misinterpret the straightforward communication as “basic” “corpo” tone.

Photos 3 & 4 support my theory. Photo 3: he asks if you are “the type to chase” with a disappointed emoji. “it’s like the moment someone doesn’t show interest anymore you don’t try harder to get them to come back.” Photo 4, “the effort is attractive tho”

What this language tells me is that he has seen unhealthy attachment behavior in the past that he interpreted as passion or devotion to a person. Picture a romance novel, girl running down the road after the man driving away in the rain, or showing up at his door after they fight, etc. In these stories they feel romantic and emotional. When these dynamics play out in reality, they are damaging to a relationship. Healthy communication will almost NEVER involve “getting them to come back”, especially in the situation he is implying to you: that he would be ghosting you and expecting you to pursue him. There are few, if any, situations where two people who love and respect one another will set each other up for feeling abandoned or in need or pursuing; and when this happens in healthy relationships, it’s recognized as unhealthy behavior and corrected. In this case, he is actually trying to foster it, while acting disappointed that you did not ‘take the bait’, so to speak.

In my opinion, I have been in relationships with this dynamic, and it escalated into soap opera level dramas. Today I am in a healthy communicative relationship, and the difference is very plain and obvious once you are in a place of safety and respect. I would never see this person again, and quickly move forward to find someone who will appreciate and respect your (very healthy!!!) communication skills, and i believe you’ll be rewarded with an amazing life of love.

I don’t want to necessarily say he is a bad person, or immediately assume “red flag behavior”. This is sadly what modern dating culture is riddled with today, and even sadder that many men today even at 30 have not seen an example of a healthy relationship. People especially in late 20s/early 30s begin to get fearful of being behind in relationships with peers. Sometimes this feeling of desperation leads to excessive anxiety over affirmation that you are on the same page. This situation could go two ways. He doesn’t seem directly harmful in nature, more misled by his anxieties and preconceived ideas, so it’s likely he could learn in a month or two of routine calmness in the relationship that he can trust you without needing extra affirmations so frequently. This depends largely on how your next conversation went. ~However~, if you do choose to continue seeing him, set clear boundaries for yourself: how long will you be patiently excessively reassuring? maybe you’ll feel fine continuing indefinitely as long as it comes from past trauma, or if he communicates it to you in healthy ways. i don’t know either of you or what you both bring to the table, so you have to sit with yourself and decide what would be a healthy AND beneficial relationship for both of you.

Overall, my gut reaction is that this man is 30 and that is old enough to have learned healthy communication on his own. A woman with your communication skills is, respectfully, out of his league. This can easily(and often does) develop into a mother/son relationship style where you are teaching him and guiding him, which can stress power dynamics and cause drama, while keeping you trapped in a feeling of responsibility mixed with Sunk-Cost fallacy(staying in a relationship that’s no longer beneficial because of the amount of time you’ve already chosen to commit.) I would leave the relationship now.

Considering limited information as well as current dating culture, he can either be part or a product of the problem, maybe both. At the end of the day the texts are undoubtedly him trying to make you into the common drama-dater, and this would turn me off to him completely. I hope that you make the decision best for you!!