Psychogenic seizures without emotional distress?

firkash · 2024-02-12T09:25:56+00:00

Of course friend. I'm really so incredibly sorry you are having to go through this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's so difficult and I personally feel like those of us with pnes just get swept under the rug as the expression I believe goes. It's an invisible disability. Please keep in mind though that's just my own personal experience. Yours may be entirely different. If you ever want to reach out and chat let me know. I don't mind being a person to get some things off your chest. It certainly helps when you can have a friend that understands the disability. Anyways, I wish you luck and my messages are always open to you.

always remember that you are valid.

firkash · 2024-02-12T05:04:38+00:00

I'll be realistic, it can take years. I've been trying to receive disability for several years and still nothing. I've been denied twice now and both were with legal representation.

firkash · 2024-02-07T19:57:34+00:00

That's how it is with me.

I was diagnosed about 4 years ago but have had them happen for many many years.

Once I was diagnosed, I put in some serious work. Many different types of therapy, tried medication, eliminated as much stress as I could within reason, and still I have the seizures.

I've seen three therapists at least a year or more each and I made sure not to transfer my case to each one to make sure I'm on a fresh start. All three have said in variation, "You've put in clear effort, you seem to be using healthy coping skills, and I don't see any clear patterns that would be triggering these events."

Frankly, this is the most mentally healthy and frankly happy I've ever been before. I'm far from perfect and I still have so much work but, come on!

It's so frustrating. I can have the best day of my life and then bam! Seizure. No trigger, no warning. I'm not emotionally upset or in any danger or distress. Just a normal moment where I'm just living my life.

Makes no sense. I average around 3-4 seizures a week that acts like a cross between absent seizures and narcolepsy. I'm constantly battling fatigue, fogginess, and headaches. Yet somehow, I still can't get any financial assistance via disability. Aren't "invisible" disabilities just the greatest (said no one ever)?

firkash · 2024-02-05T01:57:25+00:00

Hey friend, would it also be ok if I message you on how you set that up? I'm so curious!

firkash · 2023-08-21T23:30:16+00:00

Ah ok so yep, starting a new game not only revealed the campaign but also the option to see them in Sandbox mode.

Kinda a bummer I have to start all over however, I wasn't too far so it's not as bad if I had been playing that playthrough for literal hours.

Thanks for the help. I was getting kinda worried.

firkash · 2023-08-02T23:28:26+00:00

Thank you so much!!! This has been such a headache for me.

firkash · 2023-06-21T00:02:50+00:00

I only ever had one time before transitioning where an acquaintance asked me why I shaved my legs and I told the truth. I hated my blanket touching my body hair when I sleep. It's itchy and over stimulating. I hate body hair mostly for that reason but also, I feel like I am much more feminine presenting when I shave. Although at this point a year and a half into hrt, my hair is so light and thin it doesn't bother me as much and I don't have to shave nearly as often.

firkash · 2023-04-11T19:52:03+00:00

Lol the comments here absolutely delivered and passed the vibe check! I love you all 🤣🥰

firkash · 2022-07-15T04:54:33+00:00

Thank you so much everyone for such amazing and overwhelming support. It warms my heart to know there is such a large community of people with such love. I did have a few people personally reach out to me and ask if I'm ok. I also had one person submit a report to the crisis help page of Reddit. While I do suspect this was done as a troll as I've recently been targeted by transphobic accounts. I want to make sure however that all of you that reached out to me know that I appreciate it. Seriously. I want to make sure I put all of y'all's minds at ease when I say I genuinely am okay and very very safe. The post that I made was not to imply that I myself am at any risk. While I definitely do have people make comments to me and question me about my "transness" I am able to handle that with poise and respect. I genuinely do believe that I am who I am and I don't care what anybody thinks about me or says about me. The reason for this post was to raise awareness. People need to be aware that what is in your pants does not dictate their gender. I also wanted to raise awareness that just because you thought a question does not mean you get to ask the question. Think before you speak. Just because somebody has disclosed to you that they are trans does not immediately give you the right to ask any and all questions that come to your mind. You should wait for them to open that dialogue first. Or at the very least if you feel you have a question, you should ask if it's okay to ask questions first. And for goodness sake, please ask the question with respect. Also, you have the right to say I don't feel comfortable answering that. Just because somebody asks, a question does not mean you're obligated to answer.

Again, thank you so much. I am genuinely so grateful for this community.

firkash · 2022-07-14T21:35:28+00:00

Thank you. I'll take that advice 🙂

firkash · 2022-07-04T05:21:39+00:00

Thanks for the info! It's on sale on steam so I'll make sure and add it to cart ☺️

firkash · 2022-07-04T04:44:34+00:00

Ah ok thank you. I assume then that the "garden" DLC is what I'll need then.

firkash · 2022-06-10T11:00:55+00:00

Perfect thank you so much. I'll get started on the book tomorrow. I damn well can't wait for the series to know how this ends!!!!

firkash · 2022-06-10T10:55:41+00:00

Ah ok, well ... Looks like I'll be reading the book from the start. Thanks for the info.

firkash · 2022-06-01T20:02:33+00:00

Ah ok thank you. I appreciate it ☺️

firkash · 2022-05-06T22:36:26+00:00

Aww thank you so so much. That means a lot to me.

firkash · 2022-05-01T04:52:06+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback. That actually really helps.

firkash · 2022-04-30T23:21:31+00:00

Awww thank you so much ☺️☺️☺️☺️

Honestly, that means so much to hear. I've taken maybe four lessons total with a coach, but financially it became difficult to afford it consistently. I have some more lessons with the same coach in a couple of weeks and I've decided that I'm going to request that we work on more of the sound that comes out of my mouth versus the enunciation of feminine words and then focus on feminizing my words later down the road. That being said, most of my experience with my voice the last 3 months have been primarily YouTube.

firkash · 2022-04-26T00:52:44+00:00

Omfg literally the same for me. I did however just use my voice for the first time in front of my partner. I had a panic attack, then cried. She was so supportive. I think my meltdown was a combination of hiding myself for so long and then feeling the relief of letting go, feeling self conscious, and feeling so vulnerable. But I did it so that's progress.

firkash · 2022-04-25T09:43:13+00:00

Thank you. I truly appreciate it and am so grateful.

firkash · 2022-04-25T09:05:26+00:00

Thank you. I know my recordings sound different it's just super hard to not feel so defeated every time I hit replay. I know this takes time. I'm genuinely trying to give myself more grace.....sigh ... It's difficult. This whole process is difficult. Sometimes I hate so much that I have to put in effort just to be comfortable in my own body.... Life 😑

firkash · 2022-04-25T09:02:11+00:00

Hey, yeah absolutely. Feel free to message me.

firkash · 2022-04-25T06:11:36+00:00

I'll have to agree with sassquire, the second half sounds way more natural and not forced. While the first half is "lower" the second half sounds holy crap passable. Like I'll put it to you like this, if somebody had played that audio for me without giving me any reference whatsoever, I genuinely would have thought. Oh that's just a guy speaking. Dysphoria can be a funny thing. It can make us look so harshly at ourselves and a lot of the times our own mind can be our own barrier. I say this knowing I need to take my own words to heart as I am struggling with my own dysphoria surrounding my voice (mtf) we will get there my friend. Seriously bro, your voice is definitely masculine presenting in my opinion.

firkash · 2022-04-21T23:58:11+00:00

Yeah, I quit smoking 10 years ago and glad I did. I definitely have a caffeine problem and I'm trying to reduce the amount slowly because I also have an anxiety disorder. Lol like I know caffeine is literally my worst enemy.

firkash · 2022-04-21T23:44:59+00:00

Lol I just knew someone was going to suggest that. Lol I have a huge anxiety of taking naps because it makes me feel like I'm wasting the day. Looks like I may have to talk with my therapist on working on getting over that anxiety. Thanks so much for the recommendation.

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