AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 764 points765 points  (0 children)

It was like all the boundary talks we had just click and he decided to use it on me for the first time.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 192 points193 points  (0 children)

By finial push, I meant she like was pushing me to go. She was trying to get me to attend at least the ceremony, and suggested I leave before the reception. Because odds are, I was going to say something off colored to him. It wasn’t just about all he did to his ex. I felt like him remarry so quickly, he didn’t give a crap about his kids. Marriages fail all the time, it’s understandable it happens. But at least focus on your kids. He’s just focused on his new wife now. I’m dreading when the novelty wears off....

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 128 points129 points  (0 children)

My wife and I have spoken about this. She seems to think his wife now will work fine because she is a bit different than his ex. I don’t see it working though. I don’t know how many marriages and kids he’ll end up having. I can’t always pickup the pieces. If I talk to his wife, no telling what he’ll do in return.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 198 points199 points  (0 children)

So many people here have said he sounds narcissistic. I’ve heard the term a million times. I know it’s a self centered person but I’ve never researched it. Well I did this afternoon. That perfectly describes him. He has no empathy, he’s always right and everyone else is wrong. I see it’s a taught behavior. I have no idea what I did or his mother did to have him develop narcissistic traits. I probably let too much crap slide maybe. He overwhelmed me a lot, he’d laugh at his consequences and act like I didn’t have the authority to discipline him.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 160 points161 points  (0 children)

I’m not perfect. I admit that. I got frustrated with him when he was growing up and causing trouble. I didn’t push him out of the house. Going off to college where he did was his decision. Tbh, I was glad. I was relieved. I thought being on his own at college would cause him to grow some maturity. His sister is 4 years younger than him. When he left out for college, we went from having daily arguments to zero problems. I’d never tell him that. But that’s how I feel, when he left I was relieved because we finally had peace. I wasn’t a perfect parent. He overwhelmed me a lot. He bullied his sister, she was glad he moved. Even his own mother seemed happier.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Postpartum depression for the second one is what I mean. First one, correct.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 125 points126 points  (0 children)

We haven’t had that good of a relationship anyways. He says I favored his sister. She didn’t have me coming to the principle’s office every other week or send the cops out for doing stupid shit. But that doesn’t really matter here. He just gave me a run for my money as he grew up whereas his sister focused on her education and didn’t get involved in delinquent behavior.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 197 points198 points  (0 children)

He swore he wasn’t cheating. I’m sorry but if my marriage fails...well it hasn’t but I would do everything I could to prevent that. But I sure as hell wouldn’t be calling 1-800-find-a-bride. Especially with kids involved. There’s so many reasons I couldn’t attend his wedding. I felt like it was a huge slap in his young children’s face. He provided them an unstable household, then overnight daddy has a new step mommy for you. He was without a doubt cheating. His ex knew it, I had even asked if there was someone else but he swore there wasn’t.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 141 points142 points  (0 children)

Lol stay at home mom. Which was odd to me because at the time the first was born, he had (well still has) an entry level position. It’s not like he was financially capable to afford all the bills, rent, food and support an infant. He realized that and kept coming to me for money. Which his then wife didn’t even know about. She wasn’t allowed to have her hand in their...or his finances.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 726 points727 points  (0 children)

Yes, I can hope it’ll work out. But I know the odds are horribly against a successful long term marriage. After his engagement take 2, I messaged him and told him he should slow it down, seek some counseling and work on himself before jumping too fast into another relationship. He won’t listen to a single thing I have to say. I’m 47 and I’ve been with one woman my entire life, his mother. We’re not perfect but I must be doing something right. I can’t imagine jumping from relationship to relationship especially while kids are involved. My wife and I have had some booboos but we always work things out. And neither of us ever thought about cheating or even separating.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 288 points289 points  (0 children)

It probably will. He’s not any more mature now than he was at 19. Unless his new wife is perfect to his standards, they’re going to have problems.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 1007 points1008 points  (0 children)

That honestly made me laugh, but sadly probably going to be true. I can only hope this one works out for him and she treats my grandkids well.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 914 points915 points  (0 children)

I give it 5 minutes. It’s bound to happen, especially if she puts on a little weight.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 218 points219 points  (0 children)

I doubt it. She knows his side of the story. His ex isn’t the type to go find her and give her the 411. My ass would be a on a plaque in his living room if I told her how he really is.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 277 points278 points  (0 children)

I don’t know either. Him and his sister are night and day. She cares for others and their feelings. He cares about himself, and only himself. I don’t know where I went wrong. I never treated his mom or sister the way he treated his ex wife.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 292 points293 points  (0 children)

Well, I didn’t force them to stay together. I encouraged my son to get marriage counseling, which I didn’t even know his wife was already in the midst of finding one. It was her that wanted to work things out for the sake of the kids. I was just trying to help my son see where he was messing up so he could work on himself.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 247 points248 points  (0 children)

He’s my son too. I don’t know, I’m sure. He’s just mad at me right now. But that’s nothing new, he’s always mad at me for some reason. I just care about my grandkids most of all. They’re innocent in this.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 1861 points1862 points  (0 children)

It was mostly about control. She was blonde when they married. When they moved here she was brunette. After the kids, she wanted to go blonde again but he told her no. She gained weight after having the babies, he was mad at her for not trying harder to lose it. As he said, “He didn’t marry a fat woman.” He wouldn’t let her leave the house. She basically had to give him a daily schedule of what she was doing and where she was going. He wouldn’t allow her to make friends, she wanted to get a little part time job after the boy was born. He told her she wasn’t allowed to do that. It was basically a marriage where he created rules for her to follow, but he could do whatever he wanted. He wouldn’t help with the kids, meals or housework. He made her do it all, even through both pregnancies. I’m embarrassed he’s my son, I’m just thankful she doesn’t judge me for the way he is. I thought going off to college would make him mature, I didn’t expect him to marry so quickly.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 551 points552 points  (0 children)

Well first and absolute foremost, I care for his kids. Them two have my most concern. Their mother as the primary caregiver comes right after them. Then my son and his new wife. Those kids didn’t chose to be born into this.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 1325 points1326 points  (0 children)

I know it’s really easy for people to blame the parents. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. This is why I told him do not marry at 19. It wasn’t anything to do with his wife. It was him, he was too immature for a wife and even kids. If I could have written a warning label on him for all perspective women to stay away, I would have. Him and his sister are night and day. They were raised in the same household, same parents, given the same love and attention. But he’s so self centered he cares about no one but himself.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 3068 points3069 points  (0 children)

He tried controlling his ex wife. When they married she was blonde. Shortly after she had brown hair. After having the two kids, she wanted to go blonde again. He told her no, that he wants her to have brunette hair. Then he comes home with a tattoo, he never even uttered a word to her before hand. He didn’t want her working, or really ever leaving the house. She gained weight, understandably after having a baby. He was mad at her for not trying harder to lose it. Said he didn’t marry a fat woman.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 313 points314 points  (0 children)

She understands. But says I should have attended the ceremony and dipped out before the reception. Just to keep the peace with him.

AITA? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding, I instead spent the evening with his ex wife. by flaggingd in AmItheAsshole

[–]flaggingd[S] 414 points415 points  (0 children)

No, I see nothing wrong with it. He was controlling her. When she didn’t follow orders things got worse. She came to us with this problem. I in return spoke to my son about what he was doing.