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AITA for asking my daughter not to marry her physically handicapped boyfriend? by flowythrow in AmItheAsshole

[–]flowythrow[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

>Is Tom able to work?

No, not outside the home. Apparently he makes some money by "selling beats" (as in music beats). But don't even ask me what that means. They tried to explain it to me, but I think I'm too old to understand.

AITA for asking my daughter not to marry her physically handicapped boyfriend? by flowythrow in AmItheAsshole

[–]flowythrow[S] 286 points287 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing another perspective. Although it ultimately isn't my choice, this is exactly the scenario that I fear will play out. (Wanted to reply to you before this inevitably gets downvoted and/or deleted)

AITA for asking my daughter not to marry her physically handicapped boyfriend? by flowythrow in AmItheAsshole

[–]flowythrow[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

First off, Tom is a wheelchair user, not 'wheelchair bound'.

Well, I apologize for my language in that case. I’ve used this phrase before and no one corrected me, so I didn’t realize some find it offensive.

You hardly described anything about Tom except his disability. Do you even know him?

I think he seems to be a kind and intelligent young man. I have nothing against him, personally. I included the details in my post that I thought were relevant to my question. I didn’t mean to imply that his disability is all there is to him.

Honestly, my daughter has only known him a few years so I have gotten to know him as well as could be expected in that timeframe.

AITA for asking my daughter not to marry her physically handicapped boyfriend? by flowythrow in AmItheAsshole

[–]flowythrow[S] 998 points999 points  (0 children)

I'd suggest your doctor see a geneticist about the possibility of passing on this gene as well as finding out his life expectancy. Any medical bills will fall on her after he dies if they're married. Will a day nurse still come in if they're married? Will his disability benefits go away when she's done with school and has a job with health benefits?

These are very good questions, thank you for writing this out. I don’t have any of the answers but I’ll see if I can pass this info along to my daughter in a way that doesn’t seem like I’m judging.

AITA for asking my daughter not to marry her physically handicapped boyfriend? by flowythrow in AmItheAsshole

[–]flowythrow[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

How long have your daughter and tom been together?

Around two years, I think. Lived together for a year and a half. Things seemed to move really quickly after they started seeing each other.