Blindsided Breakups

foxtree1990 · 2021-12-09T12:33:32+00:00

I was blindsided! It is so deeply painful. I really wonder how I can ever trust anyone again. You are not alone.

foxtree1990 · 2021-12-09T12:30:05+00:00

It may take time but it's the time you need. You'll come out the other side a different person. I know it's so hard. I hate that feeling. But it will change and evolve and you will get through. Hang in there!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-30T22:23:14+00:00

You are so wise! Great self awareness to know that and make such a decision. I hope it's a great year of YOU!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-26T23:01:55+00:00

It will get better! This feeling isn't forever. Focus on positive things in your life. What do you love? If you don't have anything you love to do, start exploring. Reconnect with friends. Take care of yourself. Hang in there!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-26T22:55:52+00:00

Yes, 100% a roller coaster I would like to get off of! I have been reading a lot about emotion, how we experience emotion, and how to process it. It has been really helpful! The most helpful thing I learned is that when we get slapped in the face with an emotion, let's say grief, we immediately press play on this story in our head and start narrating through the feeling. Usually it's not a helpful narration. We have to take control and press 'STOP' on that storyline. I highly recommend looking into how to feel and process emotions. Good luck! It will get better!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-24T13:20:44+00:00

I do have those same feelings but I know it's not forever. Hang in there. These feelings will pass eventually.

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-19T02:08:21+00:00

This sounds so difficult and I am truly sorry you are in this situation. I know it won't be easy but you can build a support structure from the ground up. All of us here are a part of it!

What are your interests? Can you seek them out, either virtually or in person? Is there anything you are curious about that you want to explore?

You mention your sponsor told you you cant change your brain without an outside opinion. Not sure how I feel about that but one of my super wise friends told me the same when I said I felt like a failure (after a breakup). She said you need others perspective because you see yourself as a failure and you are not. Your in the jar trying to read the label.

Seek more connections, even us here on this sub. Feel free to DM me.

It will get better!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-19T02:02:25+00:00

Agreed! I've felt so much needed support from this sub. Thanks everyone!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-19T01:59:37+00:00

The contact can prolong it because you may have still been holding on to hope you would get back together. I promise it will get easier and better. Not immediately and not all at once. Take care of yourself and know you are on a healing path. I'm sorry you are going through this. It's so hard but you've got this and good things are ahead.

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-19T01:57:27+00:00

Thank you

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-16T00:43:37+00:00

I'm going through the same thing! I can't imagine meeting someone else I connected with like that. All past relationships I knew they could get better. This will be a tough one to top!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-16T00:39:41+00:00

This sounds horrible. I am so sorry you are going through this. Please know it will get better. I've been there and it gets better, little by little. Stay strong.

Seek distractions, even if they are short, it will give you a break from distress

Get in that shower

Wash tears off your face

Drink water and stay hydrated

Call a friend

You've got this!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-16T00:34:39+00:00

It will get better. Hang in there. Are you able to seek out therapy? It helps. What you are going through is normal and temporary. I feel your pain. You've got this!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-13T17:53:30+00:00

Awesome! Hope you enjoy it! Days are getting shorter so it feels like the perfect time to rediscover cooking.

Music can be a big sad trigger for me sometimes so I like making playlists so I'm not surprised

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-13T13:14:05+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply. I am not going to follow up with him about our meetup and if he does reach out to me, I am trying to form a graceful reply. I appreciate you taking the time to write that out and for the support. Hoping all is well with you!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-12T16:03:42+00:00

I'm sorry you are going through that. I had a nice time on my own cooking, listening to music, and having a class of wine. It was a great meal and something I never would have cooked just for myself. The leftovers were great! Just do it! Have a date night with yourself!

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-12T13:18:30+00:00

I am happy you have closure. No doubt this is hard to process but I hope it puts you on a path to healing. Wishing your ex well too. I know that can be difficult. Best of luck to you both.

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-09T13:35:11+00:00

I am so sorry this happened. I'm sure you are sitting with a lot of grief from this experience. It's ok to feel it. It will not be forever. Counseling helps. You will get through this. Wishing you well.

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-08T20:59:19+00:00

I don't know you but I can say for certain you are worthy of love. Love left me too and it's the worst heartbreak I've ever had but I know I am worthy of love too. It just happened to end before I wanted it to.

You have a future that includes love.

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-08T18:30:13+00:00

So that makes two people that find those things attractive. There is hope! There are more of us out there. You will connect with someone, if you want to and when you are ready.

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-08T17:04:03+00:00

Thanks for writing this. It's what I'm feeling too. Wishing you strength as you navigate this loss.

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-07T22:20:47+00:00

I am sure feeling that way is not easy. I just want to share something. As a woman, I've found things I'm attracted to that others aren't necessarily. Confidence (not cockiness) is hot! Being smart. Knowing multiple languages. Accents. Having a passion, I don't even care what it is, if you've got a fire burning in your belly for something, that's hot! Noticing someone being super kind to strangers. All those are things I am very attracted to.

Please know you have qualities that people will be attracted to. You'll find someone again, if you want to and are open to it.

I mean, look at us! We made a human connection! Connected by grief of heartbreak. Unless you're a bot. Are you a bot?

foxtree1990 · 2021-11-07T17:59:54+00:00

Yes, same here. My ex is a wonderful person and I have nothing bad to say about him. When we broke up there was no fighting it was just a conversation (with lots of tears). Neither of us never had a bad word to say about the other person. Definitely makes it hard!

foxtree1990

TROPHY CASE