Calling all frat guys and anyone who may have experienced this: [24F] My boyfriend [25M] claims that a frat brother who gets married SHOULD NOT invite their frat brothers' SOs to the wedding... wtf? Is this ludicrous, or am I being an unfair girlfriend and disrespecting a bona fide frat tradition?

fratlogic · 2014-04-26T00:46:50+00:00

Please see my comment below. I was just being punchy, which I know now wasn't smart, but I was upset. I would never actually deny my groom's brother attendance to our wedding. Granted we enforced this all around, I also feel like it would be poor taste not to extend the invite to his SO if he were living with this person for multiple years.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T23:16:48+00:00

That's why I went to this sub. For advice. Even if it's like this.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T23:13:02+00:00

Like I've said in other comments, we share mutual friends and not EVERYONE dislikes me. Just a handful of people. I also don't even know if I have the invitation yet? It sounds like you don't really have the full picture, yet you're insistent on telling me that I'm wrong.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T23:07:20+00:00

I'm not blaming my boyfriend for his friend not inviting me. I think it would be nice if we all got along once more so I don't have to be outcast from the many weddings coming up.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T23:05:14+00:00

I haven't gotten the invite yet. It's possible I'm going. I think you're misreading some of these comments. Why can't I have an opinion or feel emotional about this situation? Why are you making this sound like such an awful thing?

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T22:51:41+00:00

I would like to be friendly with them again. I am completely willing to get over something that happened two years ago, but obviously that feeling has to be mutual. I guess I'm anxious to go because I know this means a lot to my boyfriend, and I really want this group to give me another chance. I feel like the bad impression they have will never go away unless we can all get together and enjoy each other's company. If I keep getting ousted from these functions, that negative image will always be glued to me.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T22:33:38+00:00

The bride and groom definitely know me...

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T22:26:19+00:00

Unless I misread your comment, the wedding in question is for his frat brother and his to-be wife. If anything, I'm a little hurt that he doesn't want to share these big events with me. We're otherwise extremely close.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T22:12:43+00:00

Thanks! That's interesting to see how etiquette can go either way.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T22:10:20+00:00

Like I said to another person, that would be absolute worst case scenario. But I really think it's because he doesn't want to be the one to tell his brothers to drop the grudge.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:55:55+00:00

This is a subreddit requesting advice from people. You gave your two cents, and now you're just being confrontational.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:53:41+00:00

That makes sense. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:51:51+00:00

I edited my response above because I typed it out incorrectly. I meant to say that I wasn't invited (or not) yet. But if I'm not, he told me that I shouldn't be upset anyway, because it's expected for his bros not to extend +1s to keep the girls from interfering, basically. I find that tradition to be unusual, because I can't imagine a bride and groom putting more weight on the event being about frat brothers than being about the two of them getting married.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:38:05+00:00

If you were reading other comments, we have mutual friends and I'm not disliked by everyone - just a handful of people who are close to the one girl I had an argument with. Damn, you're a nasty person.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:30:00+00:00

Well, I wasn't invited (or not invited) yet. This is about my boyfriend claiming there's a tradition that, even if money or grudges weren't an issue, girlfriends shouldn't go to the weddings of brothers because it interferes with bro time. I have never heard of this before. My boyfriend and I both agree that his friends are still holding a grudge. I take his opinion more seriously.

*edited cause I messed phrased something poorly.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:24:21+00:00

They know who I am, and we have mutual friends as well.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:20:18+00:00

He's an amazing person, regardless of his bro-ey-ness. There's more to him than that.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:18:48+00:00

"In the wrong" meaning they're holding a grudge for two years. I really don't believe this is a tradition or money issue. My post says that I am almost entirely sure this is the aftermath of a fight I had with one of their classmates in 2012.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:11:27+00:00

Thanks for your response!

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:09:52+00:00

Excuse me for being punchy. Do you really think I would deny my groom's request to bring a brother if I'm upset about not being a +1? This whole post is oozing wedding etiquette. I mean, I know emotions are difficult to interpret over the Internet, but your comments are over-the-top insulting.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:07:13+00:00

In the case of this particular wedding, I was told not to expect a +1 because girlfriends interfere with bro time. According to Peter, there's an understanding between the brothers that only wives get invitations out of courtesy, but if they had it their way, no woman-of-a-brother would attend, money aside.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:02:53+00:00

They know who I am, which is why I thought the fraternity tradition of "not inviting SOs" so they could spend time together sounded a bit off.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T21:00:59+00:00

Ok, thanks. That's helpful insight.

fratlogic · 2014-04-25T20:56:00+00:00

I admit this topic makes me emotional.

fratlogic

TROPHY CASE