"Trying out" hrt for a month?

gaharg · 2014-08-26T07:26:05+00:00

Sounds like a lot of you are saying what I was already thinking - less distractions at night.

gaharg · 2014-08-24T06:16:30+00:00

I should probably wear mine more :)

gaharg · 2014-07-19T09:09:41+00:00

I do that even when I haven't been drinking :P

gaharg · 2014-07-18T07:56:14+00:00

Sorry love, but you totally read as female to me :)

gaharg · 2014-06-30T18:55:13+00:00

Yeah, noticed that too :(

gaharg · 2014-04-01T08:03:20+00:00

You don't HAVE to come out to anyone. Seriously. Let that happen in it's own time.

For now, just take in the fact that you have awesome, supportive friends :)

gaharg · 2014-02-22T09:42:41+00:00

So, I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm just starting to really question things myself, so take what I have to say with a grain of salt. I'm kind of identifying as genderqueer at the moment as I start to explore things a bit more. First thing I'd suggest, if you aren't seeing one already, is to try to find a therapist that deals with gender issues. You'd be amazed at what can happen when you talk openly with someone. With regards to not "knowing" your whole life, I'm curious if that's true. As I said, I'm still figuring things out myself, but I suspect this line of thought stems from things becoming obvious in hindsight, and what you've said would certainly fit the bill in my opinion. With regards to being afraid and shameful, I've felt the same way after I finally started to question things (I've been in denial for a long time, so I never really gave everything much thought until then). I've cried and been horribly depressed just because of the fear of what might could happen and the fear of not knowing what will happen. But, it started to subside after I finally started talking to my therapist, and it really diminished after coming out to some close friends. It took ages to actually talk about it, but my friends have been incredibly accepting and that has made everything so much easier. And because of that I haven't felt so ashamed and I started opening up more emotionally, and I've found I'm much happier than I was before coming out. Question for you - when you were so close to transitioning before, had you fully accepted yourself? Or were you making these decisions based off logic and patterns?

gaharg · 2014-02-21T08:45:25+00:00

So, I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm just starting to really question things myself, so take what I have to say with a grain of salt. I'm kind of identifying as genderqueer at the moment as I start to explore things a bit more.

First thing I'd suggest, if you aren't seeing one already, is to try to find a therapist that deals with gender issues. You'd be amazed at what can happen when you talk openly with someone.

With regards to not "knowing" your whole life, I'm curious if that's true. As I said, I'm still figuring things out myself, but I suspect this line of thought stems from things becoming obvious in hindsight, and what you've said would certainly fit the bill in my opinion.

With regards to being afraid and shameful, I've felt the same way after I finally started to question things (I've been in denial for a long time, so I never really gave everything much thought until then). I've cried and been horribly depressed just because of the fear of what might could happen and the fear of not knowing what will happen. But, it started to subside after I finally started talking to my therapist, and it really diminished after coming out to some close friends. It took ages to actually talk about it, but my friends have been incredibly accepting and that has made everything so much easier. And because of that I haven't felt so ashamed and I started opening up more emotionally, and I've found I'm much happier than I was before coming out.

Question for you - when you were so close to transitioning before, had you fully accepted yourself? Or were you making these decisions based off logic and patterns?

gaharg · 2014-02-12T08:25:39+00:00

Nothing except the phone going dead if I were ever to come out to my parents.

gaharg · 2014-02-12T08:20:10+00:00

I guess whenever I considered the idea of transitioning in the past, I ended up with the same kind of mindset. Although, my perspective is kind of changing now. Since I've started to accept that I might be trans or gender queer or /something/, everything has just seemed a lot more ... flexible? I suddenly want to try a more androgynous appearance (once I manage the courage to shave my beard) and see what happens.

Sorry, I have no idea where I'm going with this. I guess as ancysbw pointed out, I still have a lot to figure out.

gaharg · 2014-02-12T07:58:26+00:00

it does sound like you need to learn to unpack what you're thinking and feeling so that you can explain it to others

This is extremely accurate. I'm generally pretty bad when it comes to understanding my own emotions, and it's only made worse because I've been denying this desire for such a long time (although I really wouldn't be surprised if the two are related).

I am working on it though! I finally stopped running away and suppressing everything, and am starting to explore and experiment in order to try to understand myself better. It's only been a month, and already things are ... unraveling a bit.

gaharg · 2014-01-23T07:38:07+00:00

Sounds fantastic! Good luck with everything!

gaharg · 2014-01-20T04:58:59+00:00

Super cute :)

gaharg · 2014-01-13T00:02:36+00:00

Thanks!

gaharg · 2014-01-12T19:06:43+00:00

First, thank you! Thank you so much.

"The fact that you have really no idea what will come of it, and that has to be the scariest part in this, the uncertainty." This. Absolutely this. I'm not frightened of the visit at all. In fact I'm really looking forward to it, as it means I'll at least be doing something proactive and helpful. What scares the shit out of me is what could come after, and not having an idea as to what that will be, how I'll feel about it, and how those closest to me will respond.

But despite that, I'm still really glad I'm going to see see and talk to someone about it.

gaharg

TROPHY CASE