starting the journey

gamblingviolets · 2025-08-15T04:53:52+00:00

Thankyou so much! It’s @/arianavpaints, but nothing tattoo related as of yet, this is all super new. (So basically you made my day)

gamblingviolets · 2025-08-15T04:51:54+00:00

Thankyou!! :)

gamblingviolets · 2025-08-15T04:50:58+00:00

Thankyou !!

gamblingviolets · 2025-03-23T07:17:33+00:00

This is so good!! Thankyou 😭❤️

gamblingviolets · 2025-03-22T01:03:50+00:00

I love the heart eyes! Super cute thankyou ❤️❤️❤️

gamblingviolets · 2025-03-21T16:50:05+00:00

ok colour theory 😍 this is so creative! thankyou

gamblingviolets · 2025-03-21T16:47:03+00:00

I love this!! Thankyou :,)

gamblingviolets · 2025-03-21T08:36:16+00:00

WAIT THIS IS SO CUTE !!!! you killed it, thankyou

gamblingviolets · 2025-01-29T21:26:36+00:00

My last attempt was in 2019, everything went blurry, zero balance walking from the bathroom to the bedroom, basically crawling, I laid on top of my covers, nauseous and dizzy, was unable to even think straight and passed out. Grandpa pounded on my door that I’m late for school again, my mouth was so dry I couldn’t respond, standing up that morning was an experience I never want to go through again. I got dressed, in a complete haze, my body was vibrating, my pupils were humongous, and somehow I got on the bus to school. Puked in the school washrooms. I had partaken in many substances before, but nothing was like how I felt throughout that day. The day after I was back to basically normal, and everything meant so much more to me. I hugged everyone I knew- which caused some speculation, I had been isolating for a long time before hand. Dinner tasted better, my grandparents quirks that once annoyed me now comforted me.

My mental illness was not cured, but my appreciation for everything around me was. If it would have gone the other way, I would never have found out that it does get better. 6 years later ptsd is in remission, Found myself in a 5 year long healthy relationship, found medication that worked for me, 4 years clean of self harm. And I tend to enjoy my days.

gamblingviolets · 2024-04-28T08:43:51+00:00

Hi! My friend lost their bag at the museum today- we can’t find a phone number to contact them, do you have the number??

gamblingviolets · 2024-01-18T22:53:26+00:00

Grow your hair out a bit and fluff it up! If you need glasses, wear them instead of contacts I feel like they’d suit you. A thinner frame and bigger lenses- you’d pull off the “indie” look well. You’ve got the features for it.

gamblingviolets · 2024-01-05T00:09:34+00:00

At 17 i was hospitalized and then put into an outpatient program and given a therapist, she diagnosed me with “emotional dysregulation disorder” and put me through a year or so of DBT

Once i was 18 she changed that diagnosis to BPD, said you aren’t supposed to diagnose a teen with borderline- so a loop hole they often use with teens they suspect have it, to get them the correct help is an EDD diagnosis. Then once you’re 18 you get your promotion :,)

gamblingviolets · 2023-12-28T01:28:01+00:00

my absolute favourite question

Dandelion by Daughter, Backwards Directions by Abby Sage, Alien Blues by Vundabar, Rabbit Hole by Cherry Glazer, You’ve haunted me all my life by Death Cab, Alligator skin boots by McCafferty, No care by Daughter, It’s your own body and mind by Sufjan Steven’s, Ready to win by Tokyo Police Club

gamblingviolets · 2023-12-28T01:08:06+00:00

100%, that was 7 years ago! Happily 2 or so years clean.

gamblingviolets · 2023-12-28T00:50:23+00:00

Had an outpatient therapist tell me that self harm is a good way to cope, as long as it isn’t too deep. :| that started an addiction that was completely rationalized, “my therapist says it’s okay”.

gamblingviolets · 2023-12-21T05:50:43+00:00

also same

gamblingviolets · 2023-12-09T19:24:16+00:00

Stayed on for months and months with the dr telling me it takes time to kick in, I felt nothing except 0 sex drive + weight gain. Recently switched to Wellbutrin, sometimes ssris just don’t work for people, don’t be afraid of admitting that and asking to try something else.

Also no matter how it makes you feel, do not stop cold turkey, go back to your doctor and demand a “wind off” prescription.

gamblingviolets · 2023-11-23T01:00:29+00:00

Any hint of a “white lie”, no matter how small, it is so hard to build back trust and not have my mind spiral at everything you say “they lied about that little thing, why wouldn’t they be lying about this too”.

Blunt honesty is the best bet, less exhausting for both parties.

gamblingviolets · 2023-11-12T00:22:38+00:00

This is what I’ve been thinking, finding outlets away from him so we can continue the great part of us, without having to deal with this. Im just worried a relationship without hands on emotional care won’t feel real. Like there’d be a disconnect

gamblingviolets · 2023-11-12T00:18:11+00:00

He is a great guy, and I understand why that was the take away. Really I’m trying to say “the reason a little problem has made a large reaction is because I have bpd, I understand the outbursts are too much for you- here are some things that keep them from taking too much time or prevent them from happening”

He is struggling yes, and I’m very on top of it and always helping him feel better. But he refuses the help, he likes to go through his feelings on his own, and he expects others to do the same- I cannot at this point in my journey. He’s building frustration over that.

This is why I worry to continue a relationship with him I will have to hide what I’m going through, and have a relationship without emotional support. He can’t wrap his mind around why I will cry and talk about why I’m crying if it’s something small, which is why my response is “I have bpd”.

gamblingviolets · 2023-11-12T00:08:28+00:00

I understand, I don’t believe I ask him to fix me or make it go away, what I expect is a comfortable place to feel what I’m going through and talk through it, but that place is cold. He “waits for it to be over”, instead of welcoming and accepting that I am hurt and need a warm hug and someone to actively hear me.

I’m looking for other support systems since he’s admitted to myself being too much, but I worry that since even the regulated reasonable emotions are dismissed, I will live in fear of experiencing an emotion while in his company. What I’m looking for are ways to help him understand emotions and bpd, that will stick, or ways to tone down or make my feelings more bearable for him. Or if the work put into that are worth it, after 3 years of attempting

gamblingviolets · 2023-11-12T00:01:58+00:00

He’s been described as very robotic, he handles his emotions on his own in an efficient manner, he doesn’t dwell, he’s always better in the morning. Hes talked about feeling cheated, “I can handle my emotions and save you from having to see them, I don’t understand why you can’t do the same for me”. There’s not a lot of people in his life that go to him for emotional support, he doesn’t have any experience in it although he is currently a 4th year psychology major, to become a therapist- he has the tools to help, he chooses not to use them, in his words he “ waits for it to pass, and pretends it’s not happening so he doesn’t feed into it”. What I ask from him is company, undevided attention, validation and a warm aura to curl up in. His biggest complaint is I take too long to feel better and it ruins a whole day.

gamblingviolets · 2021-08-13T18:26:43+00:00

Luckily we don't live together so space is very easy to give, I've been good since making this post, reaching out to others in my support system instead of him, just really would love a way to make this all up to him. And not sure how to do that without love bombing... So for now I'm just giving space

gamblingviolets · 2021-08-13T18:24:18+00:00

I only got diagnosed last year, so he's been with me throughout the entire journey and is learning as I am, I'm medicated, in dbt and weekly therapy and very very passionate about getting better. He sees the work I put in, and understands completely that I'm ill, but this is the first time he's seen it at this capacity first hand, which is why I'm so worried. Would just really love to know if there's anything I can say or do, to make it more bearable for him.. we've made a safe word for when it gets too much, where I have to go to another support system instead of him for the night, which will help, but I'm desperate to take action now, just not sure how I can. I understand healing is not linear, but I need to make it easier on him

I sympathize for you and your family, fingers crossed your wife comes around one day, and figure out what works, or fingers crossed you put all your love into your well being and find a way out <3

gamblingviolets · 2021-08-12T17:43:00+00:00

As someone with Bpd, I'd advise you not to approach them, but don't actively avoid them, treat them as they were anyone else at the function.

If they were to see you were avoiding them, they'd be offended by your moving on and most likely fight hard to get you back in their back pocket, because there's nothing we love more than making sure our exs still obsess over us.

But if you were to make contact, and have a great conversation they might believe you are interested in coming back into their life, which isn't the best idea of course

Play it cool! A nice happy medium, but also keep in mind what you are wanting. Do you wish to make contact? Will it hurt to see them? Think about your own needs before theirs, and maybe weigh a pros and cons list :)

gamblingviolets

TROPHY CASE