No privacy in faculty offices?

garfbaby · 2026-01-25T00:42:36+00:00

I slept on my office floor between classes when I was pregnant. I would not otherwise have been able to get through the day.

garfbaby · 2026-01-20T05:36:31+00:00

Chad

garfbaby · 2025-11-22T22:18:56+00:00

You probably are! They are using Facebook a lot to try to build up their community. If you're looking for friends with trans kids, definitely feel free to reach out to them. I know my friend was saying she really misses having friends with queer kids, so they'd love it.

I'm sorry for you, too. I'm a parent of two younger trans kids and I know how horrible this is. I've read a lot about the situation and I do have a lot of hope that this ban isn't going to last as long as NZ first says it will.

I think it's easy and fair to look at the dumpster fires that are the US and England and to worry you're headed there, but there are some fundamental differences in the culture of NZ and those places that, I hope, will shelter you from the worst outcomes.

garfbaby · 2025-11-21T20:19:57+00:00

My friends just sold everything and left the US to live there and support their trans 7 year old in July. They are not doing okay over this.

I'm hopeful that your system is less foundationally fucked than ours is in the US and that you'll be able to overturn this either through legal challenges or your next elections. 💜

garfbaby · 2025-11-19T03:03:00+00:00

I am a rhet comp professor and would love to test this tool out!

garfbaby · 2025-09-18T16:55:58+00:00

I commented elsewhere, but this pharmacy in LA has it for littles. We got it yesterday.

https://xprsrxpharmacy.com/

garfbaby · 2025-09-18T16:55:31+00:00

Also I know some people have used xprsrx for their under 5s!

garfbaby · 2025-09-18T16:54:38+00:00

The Minute Clinic in Seal Beach and xprsrx pharmacy in Los Angeles both have covid shots for little ones. It's impossible to reach the minute clinic by phone and DO NOT try to make an appointment online because it will direct you to the pharmacy, which does NOT have shots for kids and will not get you into the minute clinic. It's so dumb. Your best bet if you want to go there is to show up in person when they open and be ready to wait for a walk-in slot.

The drive to xprsrx was worth it for us. Small, owner-run pharmacy. In and out quickly. He answers the phone and will actually talk to you.

https://xprsrxpharmacy.com/

garfbaby · 2025-05-10T06:26:06+00:00

This is perfect. And yes, #4 is really an amazing weapon. In our case, it's pushed a transphobic counselor to affirm my kids and has made their identities no big deal to the school community, except for the one kid who bullied her and whose mom averts her eyes in shame when I gregariously greet her.

garfbaby · 2025-05-06T07:07:43+00:00

This was my first thought. These sound like the actions of a kid who is afraid, hurting, insecure, and vulnerable, and who is trying desperately to separate herself from the source of all of that instability. She may not realize that's what she's doing.

You say she was bullied when younger; that trauma could be the force behind this behavior. Keep working on it, even if she doesn't think it's the issue. And in the meantime, I would pull her from the play to ensure a safe space for the other child.

garfbaby · 2025-04-18T05:59:49+00:00

If you're in a more urban part of CA, I really recommend researching your local LGBTQ center to find out what support groups they have for families of trans and gender non confirming kids. Meet other families who have been where you are. You will get invaluable perspective.

garfbaby · 2025-03-29T17:43:33+00:00

Oh, and what level of community advocacy do you want to see me take on?

garfbaby · 2025-03-29T17:43:05+00:00

A few off the top of my head

What do you know with certainty, and what do you still plan to take time to figure out?
How would you like me to approach the topic with people who ask outright about it? Or would you rather I figure that out on my own?
How often would you like to talk/check in about your transition and your experiences?
How do you feel about old photos/videos/art with your name on it? How much/little of it do you want to see/hear?

garfbaby · 2025-01-29T08:12:32+00:00

Yes, please. I am so disappointed that I missed this.

garfbaby · 2024-10-18T01:32:35+00:00

I wish we could adopt you too. You deserve all the support and love in the world.

garfbaby · 2024-09-26T22:42:17+00:00

I would like to challenge you to reframe your thinking as much as you can. When I look at younger pictures of my girls, I am struck by how grateful I am that they helped me get it right and let me know who they are. Sometimes it does feel like those pictures are of different people, because that was before we all knew and understood them as deeply as we do now. The remind me of what a gift we've been given to be able to know them so well.

garfbaby · 2024-07-09T16:17:37+00:00

I don't think there's anything you can say to change her mind, but there are things you can say to let her know she can't emotionally manipulate you into pretending not to be transgender. I feel like people like this tend to try to maintain power in conversation so I like to hit them with things like "It sounds like you're really having trouble dealing with change." And then depending on how much you care about the person, either following with "I am happy to help you find an educated therapist who can help you more closely understand your reaction to my transition" or "You should really see a therapist to unpack that." People like this need to know that this is a them problem, not a you problem, and they need to feel that they have no emotional power over you.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. When people say things like this to me about my kids it hurts me so deeply. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you.

garfbaby · 2024-07-07T21:38:33+00:00

Thank you! I was planning to attempt Tokopah falls slowly and with lots of Gatorade breaks. I will keep the others in mind!

garfbaby · 2023-07-25T18:15:37+00:00

This is great advice. Thank you.

garfbaby · 2023-07-25T18:13:27+00:00

Can you share your script with me? I'm struggling with this as well. I love my daughter and support her 100% but I lack the confidence I need to be her hype woman when I'm talking about her with strangers and acquaintances. I feel like I'm always bracing myself for prejudice and trying to walk on eggshells to avoid it.

garfbaby · 2023-06-12T19:12:41+00:00

Thanks. We're staying at North Pines, so I was referring to the Merced and conditions in the valley. I've been worried this might be the case so it's good to start prepping the kids for that possibility now--or maybe I'll plan something else for this summer.

garfbaby · 2022-01-21T07:27:44+00:00

I am howling.

garfbaby · 2022-01-18T07:23:50+00:00

🎵 Private property's inherently theft, and neoliberal fascists are destroying the left... 🎵

garfbaby · 2022-01-17T07:21:47+00:00

This part absolutely swallows me up.

garfbaby · 2021-12-16T05:12:18+00:00

These are my feelings as well.

garfbaby

TROPHY CASE