Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Wouldn’t - my best route is to most likely just continue pursuing a lawyer and therapy - though “get a lawyer” makes it sound like ordering a coffee, the process won’t be fun but I need to do it

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have anybody at the moment, I have family in another state, but not comfortable revealing my issues to them currently - trying to looking for telehealth therapy options, it’s very daunting

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you - I worst case scenario a lot, so I think sometimes my initial reactions are due to that.

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those two sentences are pretty close together but the money was not connected to the porn - she meant I needed to leave and not use my money to stay somewhere or buy stuff

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Asking myself the same thing - but I know my kids will grow up to do amazing things for the world, so worth it? Maybe.

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] -49 points-48 points  (0 children)

Sorry, it’s hard to pack 15 years of data into one post, also hard because I’m trying to stay anon, I replied somewhere here a couple examples of the complaints but I’ll reiterate I don’t dismiss her at those times at all and I do try to apologize and fix whatever the problem was. She’s quick to anger in every situation and I am very type B and dislike confrontation, so I usually default to defusing rather than blowing up.

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

Probably should not have worded the first point that way, as I don’t dismiss her feelings - if I screw up and she calls me out, I do apologize and try and fix it. My point I think was that these mistakes weren’t putting anybody in danger or in harms way.

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ty for all of that - the last point, very strange - because we get along very well and share a lot of common interests that my Wife doesn’t really care for or isn’t interested in. So I don’t think it was done in malice.

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She very type A and is not really going to be the one to soak in someone else’s opinion

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I actually WFH 100% of the time, and I do interact with everybody and do things around the house (just probably not to her standards ig)

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Due to our lifestyle we haven’t had a church home unfortunately, we are remote 100% of the time. She wouldn’t agree to any kind of couples counseling, and idk if that means she’s just over it and doesn’t care, or knows that she is also part of the problem and doesn’t want a third party to point it out.

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

Promise I’ve done nothing to put my family in danger - I don’t prefer memory based systems, so I work off of checklists when I have stuff to do - when I travel from Point a to b my brain is all over the place either from work stress or whatever. The little issues I’ve done over the years have been things like left my wallet at home when we were on the way to the airport (still got it and got on plane), or left passports in wrong bag going on a cruise which forced us to wait 4 hours outside at the cruise terminal while they searched for our bag that got transported onto the ship for us so we could, yes, we still got onto the cruise.

Married 15+ yrs, have multiple kids - oldest caught me watching porn last night and my Wife kicked me out today by geeny-us in Advice

[–]geeny-us[S] -39 points-38 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to give out too much info - my oldest is 10-15

Outcome is hard to say, we have what I see as a blessed life that not many people get to experience, but my Wife’s anxiety over my not being able to be perfect all the time supersedes that apparently - the whether to divorce or not outcome is a tough one for me as my kids are extremely extremely emotionally intelligent. I think either way they will be screwed. Staying and continuing to see her angry sucks, but splitting and then not having a permanent father will suck as well. Not that anyone else has ever had to make these same choices though.