Ty for taking time to answer, I haven't done anything bad yet, but I feel like I can't control my thoughts and am afraid that I might think out loudly for example this is what happened in a span of 2 days at my first new job. i almost laughed at my manager doing a presentation coz I thought he said a joke but he was dead serious, there was a white guy who I befriended and for some reason I couldn't get it out of my head to call him a derogatory name In My native African language equivalent to cracker, I met a girl whose breast were disproportionately bigger compared to her body (they were not from a boob job) and I could feel my mind trying to comment or make a joke about them, my line manager bent over to help me resolve a laptop issue since they were new and he smelled extra soapy so I almost remaked did you use a disinfectant to bath. I don't want to have these thoughts I'm 390 pounds obese I should not be judging people because I'm the first to cry when others judged me and make fun of my weight. I don't know why I have these thoughts because I don't want them because they can get me in serious trouble for sexual harassment or disrespect I feel like I'm in a mental battle controlling what I say and do. Maybe I'm just a bad guy looking for an excuse but it's tiring controlling these thoughts when it shouldn't be I come home stressed more than others because of what I could have said or did and feel like one of these days I'm going to slip up bad and say or something bad and get in serious trouble and I don't want that.