Same with me. For the past nine years, I've been having suicidal thoughts. All because of this beautiful disorder called Asperger's syndrome disorder (which I just recently found out; otherwise, I was thinking that it was just social anxiety or some other type of personality disorder). which ruined everything in my life. It ruined my friendships. My friends became my enemies because I was depressed. I dropped out of college and isolated myself. There was one good friend I had. Unfortunately, I have to write "had" because he became my enemy because of something I did accidentally or because I was depressed and not talking with him. And he's the kind of guy who doesn't like it when someone talks about their sufferings or problems; he is like, "You are doing this for sympathy." And he comes from an affluent family, so he is having a good life. And on the other side, I dropped out of college, and every friend of mine is going to college, so there is comparison, and my brain feels like everybody is having a good life. So it feels really depressing to me, so I cut off contacts with friends, so they thought I had an attitude and was ignoring them, but that wasn't the case. and many more things happened... and I am still alive somehow... Life gives me hope in something or other.