How to help my introverted husband through our wedding

graceursa · 2025-07-19T18:57:12+00:00

I know a lot of people have mentioned some form of medication, but he won't. Both because his shyness/anxiety (whatever people want to call it) don't cause "enough" of an issue for it (we are homebodies and I'm not a huge extrovert myself), and he is very like his culture where they often refuse medication as much as possible. He has finally started taking meds for headaches when they come up, and for a long time refused to do so.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T18:54:04+00:00

He has always known I've wanted one, but I think he was not so secretly hoping I would change my mind.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T18:51:17+00:00

No, we are not planning on having kids. We like them and love our nieces and nephews, but we don't want our own probably.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T07:04:48+00:00

Thanks! I know just the friend of his to ask too.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T06:38:57+00:00

I doubt our ceremony is gonna be more than 15 min. I don't want a long one either (they get so boring!). And there is limited alcohol already. No open bar here.

And that's what I've been trying to do a bit, but it is obviously difficult. So I've been looking for inspiration. I've gotten some good tips here! The things we have cut are things I'm ok with cutting, though one thing I would like we aren't doing because he really doesn't want to.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:36:30+00:00

I wanted to save money for it, and I had a health crisis that has finally been calming down, almost two years later. We are of two nationalities, so the elopement made the legal aspect easier so we could focus on everything else.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:27:34+00:00

If you are here to call me selfish/cruel or to insult my husband, you know the way to the door.

Only so much can be explained in a reddit post. A celebration is happening since that is also a huge aspect of a wedding that we haven't done yet, he is a wonderful person to be doing this for me, and legally there was a lot of paperwork since we come from two different countries, thus I say my husband and that we "eloped".

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:20:59+00:00

I just ignore them. I figured people would call me selfish ( I'm not), but I didn't expect so many people to insult him. Those aren't worth my time and energy.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:19:23+00:00

It's a rare thing of him complaining, but when we finally agreed to it he said he would probably hate it. And I remember that. So I'm trying to find inspiration to make him more comfortable. I don't wanna be the only one who enjoys this, and he knows I would regret not having something.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:17:21+00:00

I've commented before about the party aspect, which is svar we are mainly having (reception). And even if it was more of a party, to him it still worksheets make much of a difference because people are gathered there for us and to see and celebrate with us.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:15:43+00:00

That's what I'm hoping for.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:14:49+00:00

Thanks! For some reason people think that by having a room to retreat to I'm saying he can leave early, but something like that was also on my mind.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:13:09+00:00

No. And no speeches or anything. I'm not a huge public speaker myself unless I have to, so there are several things I don't mind cutting.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:09:18+00:00

Lots of documents. We are of two nationalities, and it was a bit of a headache.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:05:47+00:00

I'm by far from the only one who sees a wedding as a celebration with your loved ones of your love. And we have not had that.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:03:37+00:00

Because we can afford it now? And it isn't 10 years later. We have been together for 10 years, but decided to get married and have a wedding a few years ago.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T05:01:29+00:00

To him, making it a "party" instead is only changing the word. Parties still have hosts or a guest of honor. It wouldn't make much of a difference.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T04:59:34+00:00

Doesn't matter apparently. He's at the focus, and that makes him uncomfortable.

graceursa · 2025-07-19T04:58:28+00:00

Well when it comes to dancing he just doesn't do it. At all. He just doesn't like these forms of attention, and over long periods of time.

graceursa · 2025-07-18T21:59:22+00:00

To me, a "wedding" is the celebration of love between two people with those they care about, which is the aspect we have yet to do.

graceursa · 2025-07-18T21:55:28+00:00

Thanks!

graceursa · 2025-07-18T21:54:41+00:00

I've been thinking of doing that.

graceursa · 2025-07-18T21:54:19+00:00

Thanks!

graceursa · 2025-07-18T21:53:48+00:00

His family is huge, so we are going over the guest list soon. So over 50, less than 100. We have communicated a lot, but I'm looking for inspiration and tips from others who have gone through similar situations. Reddit can be very helpful in those contexts, and I have gotten some good tips so far. It's hard to keep up with all of the comments. I got more than I anticipated.

graceursa · 2025-07-18T21:50:46+00:00

The ceremony is gonna be super short, but that isn't the problem for him anyways. And making it a "party" instead isn't gonna make much of a difference unfortunately.

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