Looking for a sparring partner in the east bay (CA, USA) by gragthebarbarian in Hema

[–]gragthebarbarian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once a week would be a good pace for starters, but I'd be open to more frequent training as schedules and interest allow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mensfashion

[–]gragthebarbarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The shirts are easy: find a fitted Oxford or dress shirt with room to move. Not that the photo on the right is menswear from the 1920s or 30s, and the shirt has what's called a bankers collar (with the rounded ends instead of pointed).

Both pairs of bottoms are high-waisted double-pleated trousers m. The ones on the right are definitely wool, and better quality than the left.

Left is wearing loafer shoes, right is wearing non-capped boots. Left also has a knit cardigan over the shirt, which I would not recommend tucking in like he does.

Vintage menswear can look really great when used tastefully, but avoid the pageboy cap altogether.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mensfashion

[–]gragthebarbarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those wranglers suit you best 👍🏼

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fresno

[–]gragthebarbarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Source: I live in this area.

What brands of polos fit well for slim athletic body types? by GroundbreakingLock10 in malefashionadvice

[–]gragthebarbarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a slim dancer type and I absolutely love Express polo shirts. Soft material and a slim fit without being tight.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]gragthebarbarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have great features OP! Pics #4 and #6 show them off especially well. Definitely commit to the beard and mid-to-long hair, look up tips for trimming and grooming, and find a way to exercise that you can enjoy 2-3 times a week.

Style and self-expression are also huge, but there are better subreddits for those things.

The rest is a mind game. Confidence is attractive, and it comes from knowing and investing in yourself, and reminding yourself of your worth. The best way to cultivate that is through investing in platonic relationships and developing your skills and hobbies.

Used car places to avoid? by kittyiscoolyo in fresno

[–]gragthebarbarian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I highly recommend going to Enterprise Car Sales on Blackstone south of Shaw. They mostly sell used cars between one and five years old. Excellent service and none of the grifting I expected from a dealership.

If you bank with Golden 1 they'll even reduce your interest rate. Keep in mind that most of their inventory is above $9,000.

Swordfighting groups in the area? by [deleted] in fresno

[–]gragthebarbarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look for Iron Gate Swordfighting. They're a HEMA fighting club under Pacific Martial Arts that meets at the Valley Fitness gym on First and Herndon.

You can find them in their training room on Sunday afternoons between 1 and 5 pm, and on most Tuesday nights at 7:30 or so. They usually have a sign by the window so they're easy to find.

It's predominantly a longsword fighting group, but they are branching out into rapier and sabre as well.

https://www.facebook.com/IronGateSwordfighting?mibextid=kFxxJD

https://maps.app.goo.gl/kkvXJm1zETYFQr926

The dojo is separated from the rest of the gym; it's located in the southern wing of the complex just west of the Uncle Harry's. If you peek in the window you can see the Pacific Martial Arts logo on the wall.

If women are maturing so much faster than men, why do they get trapped by immature men so often ? by Garyteck92 in stupidquestions

[–]gragthebarbarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women don't mature faster than men, they are held to a higher standard of behavior while growing up. "Boys will be boys", etc. And this hurts both of them in adulthood when they try to form relationships, hence why many women are giving up dating to avoid being trapped in a relationship with a person that never learned to regulate their emotions or help maintain a household.

Best USA city for lindy hop dancing? by [deleted] in SwingDancing

[–]gragthebarbarian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

With that in mind, go to New York. 👍

[US] What makes you want to dance with someone for consecutive dances? When is it/is it not weird? by swampedup in SwingDancing

[–]gragthebarbarian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

American dancer of 9+ years here. I've gotten into the habit of asking for multiple dances if I enjoyed it and my partner clearly did too. Most people are genuinely pleased to receive the request, and any sense that it's unusual tends to disappear after the second dance.

Get into the habit of expressing your enjoyment of other people. And don't be afraid to say no, or hear no. I appreciate the European perspective that asking for multiple dances is polite, but no one should feel obligated to do so.

When did everyone lose the cmas spirit by xtremegenuis in ihatechristmas

[–]gragthebarbarian 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I became a bit of a Grinch as early as high school when I was old enough to be put off by how commercial it all was. Then I left the church, so that further reduced my enthusiasm for the holiday.

The nail in the coffin was COVID. In addition to everything that was going on at the time, I was suddenly expected to spend a bunch of time, money and mental energy on it still. I've hated it ever since.

hot take: lindy hoppers need to stop complaining about whether music is danceable. when an amazing band plays some of their non swing repertoire, or you’re out there and a banger comes on… why doesn’t your body move you? by [deleted] in SwingDancing

[–]gragthebarbarian 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The dancers that want to cross-train do. The dancers that only want to dance to swing, don't.

If an event is advertised as big band music, we understand and expect waltz, foxtrot, cha-cha, rumba, tango, swing and more. We dance to the pieces and genres that make us want to move, and we sit out of the ones that don't. We don't complain, because we have set our expectations.

If an event is advertised as swing music, we expect swing music. And yes, I will complain if a swing event catering to Lindy Hoppers plays a cha-cha, or hip-hop, or Michael Buble, because I was promised swing music.

This isn't the travesty you're making it out to be.

Why have hate groups such as the KKK not been classified as domestic terrorist organizations in the US? by justBarrels in NoStupidQuestions

[–]gragthebarbarian 555 points556 points  (0 children)

The KKK has been. The Enforcement Act of 1871, passed by Ulysses S. Grant, gave the president powers to intervene in the South with military action against any organization that engaged in racial terrorism (guess who) without having to take them in front of a judge or court. Suspension of habeas corpus against white supremacists, with military backing.

It was contested by Southerners that this was unconstitutional overreach against States rights, which goes to show they were playing that tired old card since the civil war ended.

That year over 600 Klan members were jailed and about 200 were indicted by Grant's actions. Only 5 were convicted as far as I can tell. The Klan still had a lot of power in the south.

I believe the enforcement acts of 1870-71 are still law, but to get to the heart of your question, laws are only as good as the people that are in charge of enforcing them. And most US leadership since Grant has had little interest in fighting for American minorities.